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Male Impotence..

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My Dr. Told me my best chance of conceiving was monday. I tried to bd with dh last night but he couldn't perform. We tried 3 times (10pm, 2am & 6:30 this morning) things started out o.K. He could get an erection but it wouldn't last. He didn't ejaculate any of the 3 times but I did feel a little of something come out each time (sorry if this is 2 much info) do you still think I could get pregnant? I'm so devasted because I know I was at the peak of my ovulation. I know it's not his fault & I don't want to be mad at him but, aghhh it's so frustrating! He's had this problem before when he knew I was ovulating. I think he feels alot of pressure because he knows how important the timing is so I don't even tell him when i'm ovulating anymore. So I don't think that was the case this time. Is it safe to use viagra when ttc or does that effect the sperm?
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replied March 7th, 2006
Experienced User
I know exactly how you feel. Me and my husband had the same problem.
Don’t tell him you are ovulating. Basically try to make it romantic and nice and try to have sex without the added pressure that you are ovulating. Yes, keep track of your ovulation but don’t tell him you are that way its easier and he feels less stress or less of a burden and it wont affect his erection.

Last month the same thing happened with me and my husband, I kept applying pressure on him because I was ovulating and he couldn’t do it on the most important days. Of course, nothing happened last month. This month was different basically I just told him what day we would start trying but didn’t say anything about ovulation. We were able to do it from two to three days prior to ovulation all the way through yesterday, which is great. Just don’t pressure him and don’t tell him when you are ovulating.
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replied March 7th, 2006
Active User, very eHealthy
I guess the men are stressed. Maybe dun tell them the motive of sex. Just crawl on them n seduce them to bed u.

I do that at times, I have to arouse my husband to get him into the mood. He's got a thinking and stressful head, I get scared that the sperm quality might not be good when the man is stressed up, just like the woman.

So it's important both of u r enjoying the sex moment together n not stressing it out.......

Have a lovely evening with light music, warm shower for the lady n cool shower for the man. Man taking warm shower must wait atleast 30 mins to an hour to cool the heat, so that the sperm is good. I read this somewhere...
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replied March 8th, 2006
Experienced User
I agree with the girls above just don't tell him when you are ovulating. Just catch him off gaurd and really suprise him with something sexy. My hubby on the other hand is more into this whole ovulating thing than I am ever since we started ttc, he wants to know all the info I learn. It is kinda cute but at time he drives me nuts cuz hes like come on lets go try to make a baby all the time. Ahhh I guess I should be happy though. Here is a website for you ? On viagra. Good luck **lots of baby dust**

news.Bbc.Co.Uk/1/hi/health/3585161.stm
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replied March 8th, 2006
Experienced User
Hmmm. The link won't work anyhow it says that it is not good for fertility for men when trying to start a family. But I do believe this is intended towards men who use it on a daily basis.
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replied March 9th, 2006
Experienced User
In the Mood
I think that I am fortunate that my husband is always up for sex. In the mood is never a problem. The first month we started trying, however was very strained. I took things way too seriously and made the mistake of talking to my husband about ovulation and what days would be the best and positions, blah blah blah. Nothing worse than that for a mood killer. He basically told me as nice as he could that he didn't need to know the motives and reason behind it. He just needed to know when to be there. He also requested that we not schedule it and 'get er done' but to actually get into it. So, we went back to our normal sex life and have had a great time since then. Although he didn't have a problem performing, I think that when words like baby, ovulation, fertility, etc. Get into their head, it is hard for them to concentrate on just enjoying the moment.
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replied January 10th, 2012
Man's Perspective on Pregnancy-based Psychological ED/impotence
I just wanted to add a man's voice to this thread, because you search for pregnancy and impotence, this page is one of the top results. I describe my specific problem below, but I want to say that if this problem persists for many months or the ED problems exist outside of just the fertile time, go see a doctor. ED can be a symptom of other serious health issues.

I suffered from psychological impotence when my wife and I were trying. I am 30 and relatively healthy, and I've never, ever had any type of ED problem -- in fact the opposite, if that makes sense. Anyway, when my wife and I started trying, something changed, and I started to experience the same thing mentioned above: I'd start out OK but then very quickly lose my erection.

I'm not sure why. I love my wife and find her sexually attractive, and I look forward eagerly to being a father. (I don't think I have any subconscious issues in that area, at least none more than the average guy.) But for some reason, I started having this problem, and then once you *start* having that problem, it's always in the back of your mind and starts to build anxiety and feelings of inadequacy. Thoughts like "What's wrong with me? This is the one thing every man should be able to do and I can't do it? Etc."

My advice to the woman:
1) BE SUPPORTIVE. Do not criticize him. If he's anything like me, he's in a very vulnerable state.
2) Don't worry about it too much. It probably has nothing to do with you or his feelings about you or his desire to have children.
3) If you're young-ish and have plenty of time to keep trying, don't make a big issue of your man's problems. Don't rush him to the doctor. Just relax and go with it, and it will probably work itself out. If time is running out, I'm not sure the best course of action; consult your doctors.
4) If you're not already, start having *lots* of sex outside of the fertile window. Get into a good habit of lovemaking just for the fun of it, regardless of baby making. This will repair your guy's sexual confidence, which is surely shaky if he's having problems, and it will be easier to keep him ignorant of the fertile time, if you decide to go that route.
5) For me, my wife couldn't hide the fertile time. For one, I'm aware enough of her cycle and the fertility calendar. But also, the vagina feels different when you're about to ovulate. Sorry if this is a little much, but the viscosity of liquids feels different. Especially, if you're having plenty of regular sex, the guy can probably tell something's different.

My advice for the guy:
1) Brother, don't worry. This doesn't have any greater significance; it's not a reflection of you as a man or whatever negative thoughts are looping in your head right now. It's just a thing that happens to some guys.
2) Same as my advice for the woman, make sure you're having plenty of sex just for fun. Nothing repairs confidence like a good !**@! in the hay.
3) I'll share a tactic I used a few times. I didn't really have a problem getting an erection; I would just lose it too quickly. So, I decided to shorten the window of time an erection was needed. I would masturbate almost to the point of orgasm. Then my wife and I would have commence sex, and I would finish very quickly inside her. Admittedly, that's not the most romantic thing in the world or tons of fun for the lady, but sometimes when things aren't going exactly how you'd like, you have to make a sacrifice.
4) Turn off the voices in your head. Just shut out those all of those thoughts. Sex isn't about thinking. Just lie back and let your body do what it wants to do. Let the physical take over the mental.
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