Okay hmmmm, my problem, well where do I
begin?
I've always been a shy, sensitive and
quiet person but i've always had a side of
me that could deal with things and i've
always been able to live my life. This
all changed when I was either 13 or 14
when I had my first panic attack. I
cant remember what over, even though you'd
think something so life-changing (as this
has become for me) would be something
you'd remember. Since then, any
situation that made me uncomfortable or
anxious would make me have a panic attack,
for instance drama - a subject that always
made me feel self-conscious.
My symptomes would be dizzyness,
faintness, a terrible stomach (like not
knowing whether to run to the sink or the
toilet) and a choking feeling in my
throat. At first this was manageable,
the symptomes were there but slight and I
could 'hide' them or just about get by but
over time they become more and more
aggressive to the point where i'd be
worrying for weeks and even months about
an event that might take 5 minutes.
On a kind of second level, I get a bit
compulsive about things. For instance, if
I pack a bag I need to check what i've
packed like every 5 minutes, its like I
expect things to not be there. I check
under the table and in my cupboards all
the time - I dont know what I expect to
find. I could live with this, just not
the panic attacks.
My parents know that I am an anxious
nervous person, what they don't know is
how serious it is, because I feel an fool
to tell them, and when I try, I burst into
tears and get the choking feeling so
literally I can't even say the words.
It's gotten to the point where though I do
go out I would do anything not to, because
even just standing waiting for a bus gives
me panic. But sitting inside day after
day makes me sit and think more about why
i'm behaving in this way and what could be
wrong with me.
I want to talk so much about it but
everytime I try I burst into tears.
There have been times when i've wanted to
miss school because of my anxiety but
haven't wanted to use that as the reason
so I say i'm sick or have period pains,
anything to 'hide behind'. I'm only 16
and I worry that I will never have a
boyfriend, have a job, will let down my
friends and even won't be able to deal
with going on holiday because of my panic
attacks.
I've always preffered being at home to
going out, maybe thats makes me not the
average teenager! And so I worry
sometimes that my anxiety is safe for me
because its an excuse I can use personally
to get out of things i'd rather not do.
I can convince myself i'm not feeling well
and not go!
I heard of something called the lindon
method (i think that is right) and I would
like to know, have you tried it and has it
worked for you? Does anyone have
similar symptomes to me? I'm sure
everyone understands that feels like I do,
that you feel so alone, you don't know how
to explain it because how could anyone
possibly understand something you don't
even understand? What scares me is I
so want the lindon method, but it costs
money, and my parents woul have to buy it
for me, and that would mean telling them -
something I don't have the strength to
do.
Just some of the things I get nervous and
have serious and multiple attacks over
are:
dentists
doctors
public speaking
presentations
drama
often just going outside
eating in public (in case of the choking)
holidays
being away from somewhere I can use thats
'safe'
any response would be appreciated.
Thank-you.
Katia.
|
scrdat20
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Feb 2006 Posts: 90
Posted: 03-06-06 19:31pm
Hi katia:
i too am a sufferer of anxiety. I am a
20 year old female. Unlike yours, mine
has been recent, in the past 6 months when
I have started dealing with anxiety. I
am doing much better now that I have
figured out that it is just anxiety and I
am perfectly normal otherwise. Anyways,
I thought I would introduce two things to
you that I thought of when I was reading
your post. I don't know if you have
heard of them or not. I discovered these
things when I was researching anxiety.
1) agoraphobia and 2) obsessive-compulsive
disorder. Both of these are very common
with anxiety sufferers. Agoraphobia is
when you have anxiety about being in a
place or situation from which escape is
difficult or embarrassing or if a panic
attack occurred, help might not be
available. You then avoid these
situations or places (restricting travel)
or endure them, but with material distress
(a panic attack might occur) or require a
companion when in the situation.
I don't really know as much about
obsessive-compulsive disorder but I can
give you an idea. You feel the need to
repeat physical behaviors (checking
things, handwashing) or mental behaviors
(counting things, silently repeating
words). The aim of these behaviors is to
reduce or eliminate distress or to prevent
something that is dreaded.
Anyways, they are just some things to
think about. Don't feel bad about
talking to your parents. I know it is
very hard, but they will listen. Just
tell them exactly what you wrote us here
in this forum. You could even write it
down if you wanted to and let them read
it. They will understand. But don't
stess out about it and rush if you are not
ready to talk with them. Maybe just talk
to us here on the forum. We all
understand to some degree what anxiety is
like and we can certainly relate to you.
For me, this was the one thing that helped
me a lot with my anxiety. I was able to
talk to people who understood. My
husband and family/friends didn't
understand and it was difficult to talk to
them about it. If you want to talk to
me, I would be more than happy to. It is
very helpful. I really think that it is
the first step to start fighting anxiety
and we can go from there. So let me know
what you think.
I hope some of this made you feel better.
You are not alone. Talk to you later!
~mandi
|
eternalsufferer
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Mar 2006 Posts: 8 Location: U.K
Posted: 03-07-06 10:36am
Thankyou so much. It definately helps to
know i'm not alone. I don't feel ready to
tell my parents yet, hopefully i'll find
the courage from somewhere. I wish i'd
told them from the beginning because i'd
feel silly to say it all these years on.
I've dealt with it by myself for the
longest time, but I don't feel I could go
on that way forever.
|
scrdat20
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Feb 2006 Posts: 90
Posted: 03-07-06 11:42am
Yeah, it is very hard to deal with
something like that just by yourself. It
is very important to have someone around
you to support you and help take the huge
load off that anxiety brings on. I would
have been way worse than I am if I weren't
for my husband. He didn't understand at
first, but now he does and is incredibly
helpful. Don't be afraid to seek help,
it is amazing how much help can make a
difference. Talk to me any time! I am
always very happy to listen. :)
