Allie,

I strongly doubt she's going to come to a post entitled "prove you're not fake".

I don't view it as so hard to believe. She said she didn't want to talk about it, everyone else just jumped on the bandwagon that she had miscarried (or delivered a stillborn, don't know how far along she was). It spread like wildfire. I believed it too and gave my condolances for her loss. Well now it sounds like she did deliver a premature baby but that it's alive and perhaps in the nicu and not doing so well. Why is that so hard to believe? That maybe we may a mistake interpreting the one or two lines she posted?

I don't think it makes her fake. I think it makes her young, scared, perhaps not as educated as many of us but not a bad mother because of it. Mistakes happen to the best of us. Instead of wishing that her baby was dead, why not wish her the best? So that she can improve? Lord knows none of you are god's gift to mothers either. Neither am i. And i'm sure under scrutiny, we could all find things about each other that made each one of us look like as bad of a mother as many of you think allie is.

Allie, I am sorry if my words were innapropriately phrased or whatever, I was trying to help and all I got was a hard time for it. I have changed the name of this thread and I hope you read it.

Thanks, I am ok. I will pm you if I need to :)
hope your son is doing better today too.

Thanks allie, yes dil is doing better at the moment - but he had a massive brain bleed. They are unsure of the implications it may have one hid development. It's a difficult time for me and I dont need someone jumping at me and telling me i'm a bad mother when a) she doesnt know me and b) she read my post wrong.

Yeah definitely pm me if you need to. Also my email addy is [please don't publicly post your email address] if you need that.

Aw poor little guy. Dont feel like you failed him, it wasnt your fault this happened, sometimes things happen without anything causing it. Hes a survivor.
I dont think hunter meant you're a bad mother at all. Shes right I wasnt even going to read this until you changed the name of it. Sick of arguing with someone when they dont know anything about it you know. Then recieving nasty posts because someone has a tantrum as I wont broadcast things.
Goodluck to you and dylan.

Carrie, hunter jumper didn't say you were a bad parent she said that any one of us is likely to have just as many faults as the next person if we only look inside ourselves.

Now, me personally, in your position there is no way I would be here argueing on a forum - i'd be at that hospital no matter what.
Sick or not be grateful you have your child and don't waste that precious time.
I'd give anything to be in your position - anything, for me to have that sick child in nicu would be a blessing because my own child was cruelly taken from with out consent at almost 20 weeks, along with (in all likely hood) my chance to ever have an other child.

Thats really mean of u to judge what she does with her time! She came to this forum lookin for support for her pregnancy and dil came a lil later. U never heard of hospital visiting hours? Thats really sh*tty to say when she just said stuff about how shes depressed about the condition of her baby

I am sorry for your loss kia but you do not know why I am on this forum at all.

I am here because it passes the time - at the moment dil is not allowed an excessive amount of stimulation and I am not allowed in the hospital after visiting hours, I spend every minute I can sitting by his bed not making any sound in case it stresses him out. Like I said earlier - I feel bad cos even my mere presence sendds my son into a shock wave of panic and could cause him to have a heart attack or brain bleed.

And yes, if you look at hunters post it it says: "lord knows none of you are god's gift to mothers either." that in my books indicates that i, and everyone else on here, are bad parents - or at least not the best our kids could have.

Please stop talking out ur as* cos ur annoying me now, how dare you tell me how I should spend my time with my son. Dont preach - you know nothing about me and dil's situation.

Carrie, I wasn't judging you. I'm just sick of this entire board jumping on allie. People have called her fake, said she deserved it when we thought her baby died, said that god did her a favour, called her a bad mother, selfish, stupid, immature. I don't keep track of who said what...I'm just trying to make people realize that it's a horrible thing to wish on anyone and to stop judging each other so harshly. We all do the best we can and nobody is supermom...Especially with such a negative attitude.

I hope everything is alright where you are. :d

Thats ok hunter - im just stressd out with dil and I guess I took ur post the wrong way,

Thanks hunter, thats exactly it. Some people dont understand that or know how to be supportive because they are too immature or ignorant to things or just have a nasty nature. But this is a support forum, and we should all *try* to keep that in mind when we post.

God carrie, i've been reading ur posts about dylan and I just want you to know i'm really sorry about what's going on with him, it's horrible that you two have to go through this. I'm praying for the both of you and I really hope everything gets better. I'm really sorry.

Thanks hcobrunette - he is doing better now, but it has been very trying for me... Especially with all this built up tension I dont need people telling me how to spend time with my son.

He should be coming home at around 6-8 weeks - whether it will be on oxygen we arent sure - he may have lasting effects from his bleed. Hydrocephalus is a big possibility but it come in varying degrees. Fingers crossed, thanks so much.

You're welcome :) even though I can't do anything if you ever need to talk i'm here for you, as i'm sure a lot of girls here are.

First off macysmama I didn't judge anyone.

I've been here a long time and the present crowd seem to have this vision that if you express your opinion then you must be judging people - not true.

Now, if I were to take the same track I could say you're judging me for my opinion.

Quite simply, where I come from parents are encouraged to stay at the hospital to spend lots of quiet time with their children no matter how sick they are.

I just found it unusual in my view that someone would be spending time on an internet forum.

Now, carrie replied in decent terms. She simply stated that her hospital has restricted hours during which she is allowed to spend time with her child and that she uses the forum to pass the time until she can go back.

If the person to whom this was directed (carrie) can reply in civil terms, I don't see why the person this isn't directed to (macy'smama) has to come across all high and mighty and yet again bring out the judgement card.

Hope, your little one is better soon carrie. Do you know what is wrong with him as yet or is it still in the testing stages?

Wo wo I wasnt being high and mighty its just I talk to carrie during the day and she was already upset about what hunter had said and me being pregnant and hormonal was pissed someone could say ne thing remotely mean to someone in her situation shes incredably (ya I cant spell so what?) nice and doesnt deserve to have a sick baby at all or anyone posting stuff that critizes her on a forum directed at someone else

See that's the thing - there was no criticism.

I stated what I personally would be doing.
Now maybe you can't understand this but to me she is one of the luckiest people on earth.
Her child was born - that makes her lucky from wher I am
yes he may be very very sick but she has got to see her child breathe, she has felt his warm skin maybe only in a fleeting moment.

That from where I am is so very very lucky.
My child was healthy and alive. I went for a laparscopy to investigate why I was in pain during my pregnancy. I woke up in intensive care having had my child taken from me something to which I had *not* consented seeing as how I spent 3 years trying for him in the first place.

Have you also though about how difficult it is for me to see my son in so much pain and stress that he bleeds in his brain?

I am so sorry for you and your baby, no-one should go through that but circumstances are difficult and these are mine so live with it.

Also please don't get at macysmama, dani is a good friend of mine off the forum and she knows me better than you. She has been supporting me through this difficult time and has been so great - friends stick up for each other, maybe we both took the posts wrong but I found them slightly offensive and judging and so did she so it's no wonder we replied like we did.