I am 19 and have been dating my girlfriend
for three months and I learned two months
ago, after losing my virginity, that I am
a premature ejaculator. What fun! I
have read that anxiety can be a major
factor to this problem. Since I found
this out about myself it has constantly
been running through my head, and I just
can't get myself to relax and not think of
it. Hell, i've had dreams of it. Now
my girlfriend is at the end and we have
already talked about breaking up if this
continues. Great! More stress.
So now I have this ultimatum at hand, with
a problem that can't be fixed overnight.
For a bit now I have been debating in my
head whether I really like her or not or
if we are right for eachother. And now
that has been amplified since she
threatened to break up. I go to sleep
thinking about my problems and wake up
thinking about them. The only time I
don't think about them are when I am truly
engaged in class or doing some sort of
physical activity. It often distracts me
from school work and often times I am in
my own little world.
I'm not sure if this is anxiety or stress.
I guess i'm just concerned because this
crap is always on my mind. Bah!
So please, any help?
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scrdat20
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Feb 2006 Posts: 90
Posted: 03-02-06 11:33am
Hi look ahead:
i can imagine that situation is very
stressful!! I'm not a guy, so I don't
really know how it feels personally, but I
bet it really sucks. Its not the end of
the world though!! I know that sometimes
when my husband gets done a little earlier
than he would like to, he seems to get
down on himself.... But I just love him
and kiss him and tell him its ok and that
it was still good for me. In your case,
I would ask myself a couple questions...Do
you really like her? From the sounds of
it, she's not treating you very well. If
a girl will break up with someone just
because he comes a little too early
sometimes.... I question her intentions.
She should want to help you work through
this problem. Sex is a lot harder than
you think it is, and the more you do it
the more experienced you will become. It
takes practice!! So don't worry that if
now, just after two months, its not workin
for you. You'll get better! Just work
through it. Try to stay calm and relaxed
during sex and don't think about coming to
early. Don't be afraid to stop! If you
do find yourself almost ready, make sure
and pull out and just give yourself a
second to calm down before going at it
again. My husband probably has to pull
out 3, 4, 5 times before we finally finish
so that he go a little longer. Even try
thinking about something else totally not
sex related (baseball, what you want to
eat for dinner, what movie you want to
see, anything!!) if she continues to be
like she is right now, threatening to
break up, etc. Just because of sex...
Don't take that! (especially if you
question how much you like her) its not
very cool! Good luck... Let me know if
you have any more questions! I hope this
helps.... It might suck right now, but it
will get better with a little time and
practice. I promise. Just try to stop
worrying about it. Worry is absolutely
good for nothing... :)
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drifter
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 24 Location: USA
Posted: 03-04-06 18:43pm
Doesn't sound like an anxiety to me.
I've also been concerned for weeks whether
or not I loved my gf, becaue frankly I
didn't feel anything towards her. We
broke up finally. But anxiety attacks are
an entirely different thing.
