Congratulations to your wanting to recover. It's not easy.

I grew up with an alcoholic father.. He's now sober 10 years, but it was hard to accept that this was going on as a young person. I now admire his courage, strength and willingness to get well.
My son has been sober for 2 years. He's a drug addict, and went through an excruciating 12 week rehab in utah. It saved his life. He's gone to aa meetings and na. They're a saving grace.
Addiction can be inherited, but one can learn to live their life without these things.
Thanks for sharing.. And much luck in your continued fight.