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I'm Starting to Get Panicky...

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Ahaha before anyone freaks out everything is .F.I.N.E!!
But
it's so soon now :( I wasn't scared before, especially about giving birth but now that it could happen, a.N.Y.T.I.M.E I am starting to freak out. Today I went to take the dog out and I walked to the mail box (across the street) and I could feel sooo much pressure from the babies head, I .K.N.O.W for sure it's going to be soon! And then tonight as I was sitting here i've felt some stronger contractions (i went to the hospital on saturday with contractions and they sent me home to wait for stronger ones) but they're still not strong enough, but still. I've been counting them and they're pretty regular and under 10 minutes...So I know it will be any day now, and i'm starting to get myself psyched out...I've never done this before and i'm not one for the unknown. I .R.E.A.L.L.Y want to do this drug free, mostly for myself and baby, as it is better if you can do it. I have an okay pain tolerance, so I should last for atleast a while. It makes me feel better to know that I don't .H.A.V.E to suffer but I kinda didn't wish I knew I could have them too...Lol.

I'm kinda scared about after she comes (although as labor comes first that's number one on my agenda at the moment) not so much as taking care of her...But what a huge responsibility it is...I'm still having problems with her father and I dunno whats going on there (like amonth ago he hung up the phone and me and called back to accuse me of being with someone else just because I said I wouldn't be getting back together with him- and he hasn't talked to me since, sometimes he calls my mom for whatever reasons and if I answer hes a complete jerk to me or acts like I am a stranger...Plus he just called to say that tomorrow he moves into his own place, but he doesn't have a phone so i'll have to call his work and leave a msg for him...But he works nights and he doesn't work fridays and saturdays...I dunno but to me that sounds really bad as .H.E apparently wants to be involved...He makes okay money at this job and has no intentions of paying me child support (ass) so I dunno why he doesn't have a phone...But I think a responsible adult and parent would have a number to reach in emergencies.) so yeah when she is born I dunno what kind of hectic days that is going to cause. Plus I have to go back like 2-3 weeks after she is due to school...It's crazy...I dunno what happens if I deliver late and they induce me 2 weeks after she is due...Ack. I am counting on getting on student finance but I mean I don't know for sure and I missed so much time this year that it doesn't look good. If I don't get on it i'm going to have to get a job and finish school later because I wont be able to work part time and hold school and a baby (i know lots of moms do, and I think they're amazing, but I .K.N.O.W me, and I wont be able to, i'll just end up skipping all the time) aww I dunno I am worrying a lot about stuff I shouldn't worry about now with...But as I sit here my contractions getting kinda stronger and more frequent I can't help it!

Anyways thanks for listening to my rant girlies! The best to you! And hopefully I will have pictures of this kid soon! Maybe in the next day or two if they keep up with tonights progress!

But I am off to bed as I didnt nap today and its 1:56 am and I am .P.O.O.P.E.D hehe and this may be my last sleep before my labor...Hehe although some of these are .R.E.A.L.L.Y getting painful :shock: I may not be able to sleep very long! Lol how exciting!
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replied February 28th, 2006
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Kimmeh you will manage and be a good mom, it doesnt always come natural but everyone does it do you have help though?? The first month is the roughest and after that the baby will start interacting abit and you will notice changes everyday bathing them is abit scary in the beginning though even though it was my second it still felt awkward.

Its lack of sleep for the first few weeks but you just manage and remeber were here for u if you have any questions cause alot of us have kids already and can give u the fyi. As for going through labor natural it nots going to be easy just keep focused and remeber how much you dont want meds I did it with my daughter it was painful but I managed!!
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replied February 28th, 2006
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Aw kimmeh dont be scared! I try to tell myself other women are doing it right now and if they can I can (i worry about pushing something out 2 sicne w/ macers I was so drugged up I dont remember much) my mom had me and my brother with just mild sedatives to help her sleep and we were not small babies! Me personally im going for hte epidural cuz I dont even like having my cervix checked let alone pushing something thru it! Canada doesnt have a program to make babys daddy pay something? He should have to do something you didnt impregnant yourself! Your making me stress now everytime I get on here im gunna look for your latest post and make sure u arent in the hospital! Good luck!
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replied February 28th, 2006
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Hahaha yeah canada does have something to make the men pay but its crap, and I don't want him to be involved...So I am waiting and seeing. He's bound to screw up majorly again so that I can use it in court and have proof. Anyways i've just woken up a few minutes ago and I kind of had a contraction before I got out of bed...But I couldn't tell if it was painful (because laying in bed is haha) so I got up and got food and came down here, I had one sitting but nothing amazing...So I am going to wait it out *grumble grumble* I don't think you have to worry bri...Lol you'll probably go into labor and have him way before me! Lol
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replied February 28th, 2006
I don't know about canada, but in kansas, where I live, the child's father doesn't have to pay unless you want him to, and if you sign the papers requesting child support, he has to pay. If you decide not to get child support, then the father doesn't have to be a part of the child's life. He has no obligation to the child. Good luck with that issue. I know it's been hard on my sister - she had a baby in september and is just now getting things settled between her and the baby's father - it's a mess!
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replied February 28th, 2006
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I wish it worked like that here :( I would be able to breathe lol a whole lot easier...But alas no it has to be much more complicated. I talked to a lawyer a while ago when he was first kicked out (i found drugs in his room). Basically he said the laws were changing and men are getting more and more rights...And he .W.I.L.L be granted access...Not I can fight for full cusody (but if he chooses to fight too it will be a long battle, that i'll most likely not win- unless he screws up royally...Knowing him that may not take as long as I think) or I could fight for supervised visits (which wouldn't be too bad, I guess). I dunno. He said and so did a social worker that my best bet would be not to deny him access (but have rules set up, like he can't take the baby anywhere, I can choose when and how long he stays for, etc.) and then just wait for him to loose interest, which I think (hope) he will...He has very unrealistic views of a baby...When we were broken up but still talking alright he said that he planned to come over for like 8-10 hours twice a week (on his days off) I was like :c| she'll be asleep most of that and we're .N.O.T together! It would be different if we were together and he could just watch movies here...But having him in the house for 1 second if going to put me on edge never mind a whole day. The social worker said that 30 minutes to an hour and a half though is a more then normal approved time for an infant...So haha that's probably what I am going to do. But he is so stressful, that I just don't want him around and wait for him to screw up :(, having him phone to talk to my mom gets me really stressed out and upset...I don't know how well I am going to be able to deal with having him around :( no one understands how bad he hurt me..I mean I know this isn't about .M.E really and its about baby and stuff...But i'd love to not be around if he has too. He spewed all these lovely tales about how we were ment to be and he loved me and baby so much, and then he just kept on doing drugs, and treating me like crap and lying to me...Which hurts me a lot because I really did love him. Ahahahaha okay well now I am getting all sappy and emotional and I don't want too hehe.

I hope stuff with your sister gets worked out alright!
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replied February 28th, 2006
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Actually here a tidbit of info

dont add his name to the birth certificate and dont ask for child support therefore he actually considered not the father im from canada as well and unfortunatly when it comes to kids woman have the majority of rights as long as there is no abuse.

So basically if he doesnt pay support you dont have to add him to the picture and if he gets incarcerated(if that what u mean by screwing up) well then goodbye to all his rights. Some men will never be good dads and some moms will never be good moms but the one who has the childs best interest in mind will have custody of a child just make sure you write down your childs future or realistic plans and be prepared in court you need proof and paper is the best way. If he has a criminal record you can supoena that information and use it against him if the crimes he commited were after 18 cause the usually wont touch a juvey file good luck!! If ever u want any info on custody let me know my sister is a lawyer and I have friends in your position who have won their cases!!

Good luck kimmeh
sorry foe the long post!
Jess
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replied February 28th, 2006
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Kimmeh boys suck! And it is about u u grew her and u have a right to b selfish about her I think so u just go on hateing him as much as u want! Hes just a sperm donor (thats what my mom use to tell me about my dad)

but like d said dont put him on the birth certificate my dads on mine and it was a pain in the ass when I went to get married I had to have a doctors note (not that shes gunna get knocked up at 17 and need to get married lol) but it will just make things easier.

Ugh and custody battles suck! Technically I wasnt allowed to leave the state because of my mom and dads custody agreements and down here if daddy is behind on child support that cancels his visitation rights.

Druggies dont normally have a whole lot of interest in their kids just act like he doesnt bother u and hell get tired of her he only wants your attention.

Your stupid ex angers me off (pregnancy emotions and sympathy)
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replied February 28th, 2006
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Hehe I love this board...Everyone just being all emotional and pregnant together haha. Sorry I got you worked up :p

i dunno it feels wrong to me not to put him on because I wasn't with anyone else or even considured it while I was with him...So without a doubt he is the real father...And I hate people thinking of me as being slutty (i know it would make it harder for him, but all he has to do is request a dna test...And you'll be able to tell looking at her, as he is part native and i'm sure she'll have something native about her) and then that just goes with whatever stories he wants to tell people...It could give him satifsfaction...Lol I dunno I know that sounds dumb and it would probably be better not too...But I dont want to appear slutty either. Ahhh soooo much drammaaaaa...Hehe I dunno its an option and probably when I get the papers I wont...But who knows. I kind of want him to go down looking like the ass and not me :wink: I think I deserve that much hehehe.
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replied February 28th, 2006
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If he is the father of the baby-to-be whether or not he wants to see the baby post birth or not he should still have to help to support him/her, otherwise he would just go around getting other girls pregnant and feeling he does not have to pay for them either. It is not right to the soon to be baby either, you can put both last names down on the birth certificate.
You have to do what is right not only ffor you but for the baby-to-be not only now but later when he/sshe starts asking questions about the dad. Society does not need another dead-beat dad around whether in the .U.S.A. Or any other country(just my opinion).
Every mother worries about being good mom's, you will be fine, no one is perfect, you will make mistakes, but you will learn from them.
Good luck!
Keep us posted!
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replied March 2nd, 2006
Re: I'm Starting to Get Panicky...
Be strong!! Don't think about him...You think about you and your baby!! You can take care of your baby without him..You don't need someone like that around your baby...You will find someone that wants to be with you and your baby one day..Until then you can make it...But you do need to make him make you payments..Definantly..Unless you can handle it without any of his money..And you get full custody ..And he will never see the child..B/c obviously he doesn't want to anyway if he doesn't want to pay anything...K..Be strong!!
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replied March 3rd, 2006
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sandyallen wrote:
if he is the father of the baby-to-be whether or not he wants to see the baby post birth or not he should still have to help to support him/her, otherwise he would just go around getting other girls pregnant and feeling he does not have to pay for them either. It is not right to the soon to be baby either, you can put both last names down on the birth certificate.

You have to do what is right not only ffor you but for the baby-to-be not only now but later when he/sshe starts asking questions about the dad. Society does not need another dead-beat dad around whether in the .U.S.A. Or any other country(just my opinion).

Every mother worries about being good mom's, you will be fine, no one is perfect, you will make mistakes, but you will learn from them.
Good luck!

Keep us posted!


just because I take him to court and force payments out of him doesn't make him a father. The only way for a man to not be a dead beat dad, is to be willing on his .O.W.N to make payments and be involved. He just moved into his own place and couldn't be bothered to get a phone for emergencies. I have to call his work and leave a message for him to pick up when he gets in (he works nights, and he does not work fridays or saturdays). The neighborhood he moved into is not the nicest of areas and there for the housing is not that expensive, and he makes not bad money. I know he could afford a phone of some kind. I am sure this is just a lovely tactic to buy more dope. Nothing I do to force him into being a good dad makes him a good one unless he is not being forced into doing sh*t and does it from his heart.
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