Maybe i'm reading the verse a different way than you, but i'll quote my bible here, again..
"if men struggle with each other and strike a woman with child so that she gives birth prematurely, yet there is no injury, he shall surely be fined as the woman's husband may demand of him, and he shall pay as the judges decide. But if there is any further unjury, then you shall appoint as a penalty life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot".
I'm taking that as saying that if the baby is born alive, though premature, and the mother is fine, then the guy pays a fine and all is gravy. But if the child or mother suffer any injury, then he has to die. I don't really understand how it supports your stance.
As for the rest of you post, I totally agree!!!