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February 23rd, 2006
Background: my husband, myself and our son (1.5 at the time) lost our home in a flood. We were suddenly homeless and living all over the place. We didn't have (in my eyes) the strongest relationship to begin with. More like friends. He was always very distant and not very loving or emotionally available. We hired a builder to reconstruct our home...

I started going to conseling before the flood, my husband drank, alot. I would find him sitting in his truck drinking before he'd walk through the door. He works in manhattan and has a long day leaves the house by 7 and gets home about 7:30 his commute is about 1.5hrs each way.

He continually used this "excuse". All I had to do was sit home with the baby, he pays for everything, etc. We discussed before the baby our intentions of my staying home.

I eventually had enough, asked for a seperation. He didn't find that to be acceptable and eventually I had an affair. We were getting divorced but, I couldn't go through with it, it was too scarey.

We got back together and he just keeps digging on me. X-mas morning I woke up to a huge bag of coal in my front yard, valentines day liquer filled bottles of chocolates, most recent a myspace.Com website dedicated to what a horrible person I am.

Is this hopeless??? I feel like I hate him. What do you do???
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lsipes
replied February 24th, 2006
Experienced User
First of all, the tired excuse of him paying all the bills and you sitting on your a.S.S and doing nothing is old and lame. My ex did the same thing. Those aren't his only responsibilities, he has emotional responsibilities to the family as well. And you are raising his child!!!!! That's the most important job in the world! You're shaping your child into what he will eventually be as an adult! Ugh. I stayed home with my son for the duration of my marriage too, and i've heard everything in the book as far as insults about it. You two chose together for you to be a sahm. If he has issues with it now, that's his problem and it would be much more productive to talk to you about it.
As far as the huge bag of coal and liqeur filled candies, they could've been a stupid, immature practical joke gone awry. I wasn't there. But it's a pretty ass-holish thing to do. And the myspace account? What kind of loser has the time to devote an internet site to his life partner's unworthiness? What adacity he has. He obviously doesn't give a hell of a lot about you if he's basically slandering your name all over the internet for the entire world to see.
I'm so sorry. I felt so helpless in my marriage and it kills me to think of other women suffering in the way that I did.
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kellyrichter
replied February 24th, 2006
Although not married and have no kids, im in a relationship that should have ended a long time ago.Im much the same.....Staying for whatever reason?It seems I fantasise leaving but dont have the courage to....
Is it maybe its what we're used to....And we'd find ourselves lost and not knowing what to do without that stability?Even if it is no good?

There is a whole new world out there thats waiting for you and ur baby....
You don't need no mans money to make a stable and loving home for u both...After all thats what you deserve....No matter what mistakes you've made!
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Melissa_20
replied February 28th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
Thats insane,i can't believe you let him treat you like your a worthless piece of crap! Get out while you can!
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sandyallen
replied February 28th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
Hi! It is not so much that you hate him it is just that you no longer have the respect for him. You did what you could by going to a couselor, you deserve better! Do not let him bring you down! Take him to court and get some child support, get a job and move on. You do not have to live or raise your child in that type of abuse!
Good luck!
Let us know how you are doing.
We are here for you.
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ronnienicho1
replied March 1st, 2006
Thank You...
I just want to thank anyone who has replied to this message. Things are in such a state of disarray and i'm trying to keep my head together. The support the responses give really help despite the fact I don't really know anyone.

Warm regards!
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