Afraid of Being Alone... Anyone Else? Posted: 02-23-06 12:04pm
Since I have been suffering from anxiety,
about 6 months now, I have noticed an
increased fear of being alone. Before my
anxiety, I used to embrace alone time. I
loved just having time to myself, but ever
since anxiety has gotten ahold of me, I
just can't stand it. I am 20 years old
for heaven's sake! Of course my husband
is my number 1 safe person. I can't
stand it if he is somewhere where I can't
get ahold of him. Does anyone else
experience this? I keep trying to be
rational with myself and figure out why I
am don't want to be alone, and I can't
figure out why. I have always been a
very independent, strong willed person and
I cannot for the life of me figure out why
anxiety has such a strong grip on me and
where the heck it came from??? I had
only been married for about a month when I
had my first panic attack and have been
dealing with anxiety ever since. I only
know that I have an intense fear of
dying??? Is anyone else going through
something like this? Thanks so much..
|
backhome22
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Nov 2005 Posts: 195 Location: MN
Posted: 02-23-06 13:17pm
Oh my gosh I just read the story of my
life! I'm also 20, just got married and
the panic attacks started soon after. I
used to love just being alone in a room
and listening to music or doing whatever
else. I also have the most intense fear
of dying ever! I'm afraid that while i'm
alone during the day, something is going
to happen to me and there will be no one
there to find me. I used to have so much
fun, too, and enjoyed life, and now i'm
just a big old basket case all the time!
If my husband is home I feel at least 70%
less anxious than during the day when he
is not, so I always can't wait for the
moment when he walks in the door. Maybe
for me it's cuz we moved, also, and back
home if I wanted to be around someone
there was always someone to hang out with
at any moment of the day, and here I don't
know anyone so when I want to be around
other people I can't and i'm so sick of
being alone with my anxiety.
|
scrdat20
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Feb 2006 Posts: 90
Posted: 02-23-06 13:42pm
Hello again.... Backhome, I am so glad I
have someone like you to talk to. We
seem to have a lot in common. I couldn't
have stated my feelings better myself than
what you just said. We also had just
moved the about two weeks before I started
having anxiety. I only moved about an
hour away from the town where I grew up,
so we still go home quite a bit on the
weekends to hang out with friends still
there, etc... And I have way less anxiety
when I am there. Still though, my
husband is really the only one who reduces
my anxiety a lot. I could not agree with
you more about having something happen to
me and dying when I am alone. What do we
do about this? I just don't understand
why this has happened to me. I used to
be the exact opposite, not scared of
anything.... I got my pilot's license at
age 18 and have flown thousands of miles
by myself. I wish I could understand so
as to better fight it. I am soo
terrified that my husband (who is in the
army) will get deployed to iraq or
something and then what am I going to do?
I wouldn't even be able to talk to him on
the phone if I needed to. Maybe that is
what I need though?? It will be really
hard on me.... I don't even want to think
about. I am starting to kind of get
control over my anxiety right now, but
this is the one battle that I still cannot
seem to even start winning. Have you
found anything that helps?
|
backhome22
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Nov 2005 Posts: 195 Location: MN
Posted: 02-23-06 14:17pm
I really haven't found anything that helps
me except taking a small dose of xanax
once in a while if I feel myself getting
really freaked out. I really don't know
what to do...I think I am going to try
seeing a psychiatrist a few times and see
if that helps any. But first i'm gonna go
to the doc to make sure everything is okay
with me physically. I'm pretty sure
there's not physical problem behind it, I
just wanna make sure so I can somewhat put
my mind at ease. I don't know what else
to do though...My husband and I have
discussed having kids, that would give me
someone to be with, but I don't know if in
my state of mind that would make it worse
or better to have a little baby around.
I've also lately considered getting a
puppy...Lol! It's not a person but it'd
be something around to keep me
occupied...I could talk to it like it's a
real person or something...Lol! We moved
from minnesota to florida, so i'm really
far away from any friends or family. When
we went home for christmas I had way less
anxiety, and I have a feeling if we moved
back altogether i'd be fine...But we can't
cuz of my husband's job. So at the moment
I don't know what to do really...I guess
talk to a therapist first and i'll see how
that works out! Ugh, I just don't wanna
feel like this forever!
|
scrdat20
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Feb 2006 Posts: 90
Posted: 02-24-06 11:38am
You know... A puppy is a really good
idea. I had to leave my dog (whom I love
more than anything) at home with my
parents, as we bought a house in a
neighborhood that we can't have dogs.
Just seeing him when I go home for the
weekends makes me so much happier and he
does take my mind off of anxiety and
anything else that is stressing me out.
If you like dogs, it might be a wonderful
way to fight anxiety. I know if works
for me, I just wish he could be with me
all the time. :) good luck with the
therapist, let me know how that goes!
|
charlee3034
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 1 Location: UK
Posted: 03-15-06 11:32am
Sorry
Last edited by charlee3034 on 03-15-06 11:49am; edited 1 time in total
|
san54
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Dec 2003 Posts: 227 Location: Virginia
Anxiety Posted: 03-15-06 11:44am
Hello all, it does not hurt to talk to a
therapist. Many years ago, I am 57 now,
my husband and I had an auto accident in
which a motorcycle hit our car. That
night I woke up screaming just seeing the
person and the helmet hit our window. I
was diagnosed with post tramatic stress.
I saw a therapist for one year and it
helped tremendously. Seeing a therapist
does not mean that you are crazy either,
so don't let anyone tell you that. It
does get better. I still occasional take
paxil for sleep because I have had ms for
6 years and that is stressful enough.
You both seem very young to be married,
maybe marrying so young brought on the
anxiety. Good luck to you :wink:
|
Arcangel
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 1 Location: Australia
Posted: 03-15-06 11:54am
Oh my god!....
I thought I was going mad, it is so hard
to think that other people are going
through the same thing as you....
I start freaking out when I am alone, it
probably sounds pretty stupid... But I
always think that someone is going to
break in a kill me or something... And
because I live in the middle of nowhere,
nobody will ever find me.
I am afraid to go to sleep in case I never
wake up.. And then where would I be?
Am I being silly? I really cant help it..
My father travels away alot, he is a
business man, and has a business like
mind! And he thinks I am being silly, and
constantly reminds me too! He kinda makes
me feel like I am going mad!
If I had a broken leg... Everybody would
be able to see I am in pain, because they
could see a big white cast around my leg.
But because I cant show what my mind is
like, I cant explain my feelings to him
because he doesnt understand them... He
doesnt even try too.
Can anybody help me, help me to
rationalize these thoughts?.. Please some
one help me!
Do any of you feel so frightened that you
become paralyzed with fear, when you
really think something bad is going to
happen? I get that every time I am alone.
I always think some one is hiding in my
house..
I think I need to stop writing before my
mind starts imagining more crazy stuff...
Please if any one can advise me, or just
reassure me and tell me everything is
going to be okay!
I would appreciate it so so much.
Angel
:cry:
|
MEB01
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Mar 2006 Posts: 2
And Here I Thought I Was All Alone..... Posted: 03-16-06 23:00pm
As I read these few posts, I can't help
but wonder why it is I have never looked
for help on the net. You see, I am a
perfectly healthy 33 year old man. I
keep myself in perfect health and suffer
from anxiety. A few years back, I was
out with friends and had one too many red
bulls/ vodkas and had a massive panic
attack. At first I didn't know it was a
panic attack, it just seemed that I
couldn't catch my breath and suddenly, I
had a huge pain in my chest and this
incredible fear came over me. The first
thoughts through my mind were that I was
having a heart attack, so I said, ok god,
this is it, I had a great ride, so I just
sat on a bar stool and put my head down
and prayed until I would die.
But there was one small problem, I didn't
die, nor was I passing out. I realized
that even though I must of had a heart
beat of over 200!!! I was still alive.
All I could think about was to run!!!
Where I don't know, but I needed to get
out of there? I convinced myself that I
should look for my friends and have them
take me to the hospital. When I found
them, I couldn't talk and I was shaking
like a leaf. My heart rate would not go
down!!!! I was able to make it to the
hospital and that is where I finally got
my heart to calm down.
I tried to shake off the incident, but it
wasn't that easy. I started to feel very
nervous shortly thereafter. I found
myself staying late at work just so I
wouldn't have to go home and be alone.
At the time, I had an awsome bachelor pad
and I was doing great financially.
However, when I was home, I kept fearing
being alone. Especially at night. I
kept thinking that I was going to die.
It got so bad that I would wake up late at
night and cry for no reason. One night I
woke myself up around 2:30 a.M. With a
really bad episode. I was so scared and
nervous that I ended up calling my mother,
who was 200 miles away! She asked me
what was wrong and I couldn't explain what
exactly was going on with me.
Well, it's now three years later and I
still feel very afraid and very nervous.
I just will myself through everday. One
day at a time. No drugs, no therapy,
just courage.....
I will say one thing, after having so many
panic attacks and so much anxiety, even
though it feels like you are going to die,
you don't.
I just have to keep reminding myself that
noone has ever died of a panic attack.
|
bigkahuna127
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Mar 2006 Posts: 8 Location: bowling green ky
Posted: 03-17-06 20:58pm
I am sorry that you are all feeling this
but it does help me to know that others
feel like this at times too. I too have
always loved my alone time but I have
recently become so scared of it that I
would call my exfiance 10-15 times a day
and I would not feel safe until she was
home again. Which is funny to her
because I weight 240 lift weights and know
martial arts and she is only 105 lol, I
ended up loosing her because of this and
my overall inability to deal with life and
I am now having to stay with my parent s
bc I refuse to be alone at all. The
depakote or abilify one is helpping
because I can now be alone during the day
but I still have horrible night terrors
and cant be alone at night you might try
a more permanant med than the xanax
|
MEB01
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Mar 2006 Posts: 2
Posted: 03-18-06 00:38am
Bigkahuna127,
can you tell me what was your first
episode like. What causes your fear and
what is it that you feel when your alone?
|
foba5
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Mar 2006 Posts: 1
First Timer Posted: 03-21-06 10:36am
Hello everyone,
i feel like I am going through fear of
being alone for the first time.
Well...It started last week when I found
out there was a break in near by where I
live. I too and married, and only feel
comfortable when he is home. I can't
tell if I have fear of being alone or I am
just scared from the break in, but I have
a lot of anxiety right now. I just wish
this wasn't happening. I usually sleep
in in the mornings and I can't sleep. I
have a dog which helps my fear some, but
am thinking about getting a security
system...Am I nuts? We live in a safe
neighborhood but I just wish I could
convince my fear of that! I read all the
above comments and am going to look into
eft. It is just nice to know others are
going through the same thing.....I wish no
one was, but at least I know I am not
crazy!
|
scrdat20
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Feb 2006 Posts: 90
Posted: 03-21-06 16:43pm
Hi foba5:
i am the one who originally posted this
topic, and since then I have relieved
almost all of my anxiety except for this.
My husband had to go somewhere last night
and I was alone, and it still scared me.
I just tried to keep myself busy so I
didn't think about it. The strange thing
is that I live in one of the safest
quietest little towns in this country. I
moved back here after living in phoenix,
arizona, which is the complete opposite,
wasn't scared at all then even though I
can think of times now when I definitely
should have been. It helps a lot to have
a dog for me too. But like I said, the
only relief I have when I am alone and
scared is to keep busy and keep my mind
off of it. Sometimes my imagination gets
the best of me. I just hope that I can
beat this soon. My husband is in the
army and I don't know what i'll do if he
has to go to iraq or somewhere... Thats
going to be tough... Anyways, welcome, I
hope it like it here in the forum, its a
great place to talk to people experiencing
the same things. Have a good one.
|
bigkahuna127
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Mar 2006 Posts: 8 Location: bowling green ky
Posted: 03-22-06 20:22pm
I dont mind sharing it via email but I
would rather not post it since I am new to
this site and I dont know the rules on
posting here.
My email is big
kahuna127@hotmail.Com just shoot me an
email and let me know it is you and what
you were wanting me to talk about and I
will share it all with you I am actually
looking for some email buddies if you
would have any interest in chatting a
couple of times a week and helping each
other grow and over come their problems
anyone is welcome to shoot me an email, I
need lot s of help myself but I am working
on my masters in counseling so I would
like to learn from others and learn how
other people have overcome their problems
|
galindo24
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Aug 2007 Posts: 1 Location: Waukegan, Il USA
I Am Afaraid to Be Alone I Always Want My Husband Around Posted: 08-20-07 12:02pm
this started on wensday last week i was
fine all day then all of a sudden as i was
getting ready for bed ai got scared just
really scared then a tought came to my
head what if i die what will happen to my
kids i wont be around to protect them and
my husband wont know i died till he gets
home he works 3 shift so i started feeling
like i was getting a heart attack then my
stomach started to hurt so i vomited and
had really bad vm and i just felt like
running like just running for ever i felt
dizzy but my head felt cloudy my hands
were cold and so were my feet boy was i
scared . and my husband came home that
night and has been home with me since for
4 days but tomorrow tuesday he goes back
to working nites and well i afaraid to be
alone yes i have my kids but in my heart i
want him i feel like if anything happens
he wont be here to save me and my kids
will be left alone my kids are my life i
live for them and only them. My husbang
got up to go to work this morning and i
had a lil axiety attack but i talked to
myself i convunced my self that i had to
be ok for the kids and i eventually fell
back asleep but it is scary because i am
suppose to be me and me is a woman who is
never scared of nothing i enjoyed being
alone my husband travels for work and i
actually told hima while back that he
needs to travel more and he said ok but
know i want him home next to me i feel
like a lil girl who wants her daddy all
the tiome and i should not feel like that
during the day i am okay come the night i
am afraid to be alone to go to bed to
sleep and never wake up that scares me so
much.
Why ? what do you do ?
|
melsullivan
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Aug 2007 Posts: 1 Location: memphis TN
Posted: 08-31-07 16:16pm
I really thought I was crazy I have been
taking zanax for three weeks for anxiety.
My family told me that I haven't been
acting myself and I did feel really
strange so I quit taking the zanax little
did I know that my body had become
addicted to them. I had seizures and was
in the hosiptal for a week. The doctor
told me that it was withdrawls that you
have to slowly come down off zanax. FYI
if you aren't out of your mind crazy
please stay away from that VERY DANGEROUS
drug!! Anyway since I have been home from
the hospital I have started to feel more
and more afraid of being alone. I know
how silly this sounds but i will check the
house fifteen to twenty times until my
boyfriend gets home from work. Under beds
in closets and behide the shower curtain
how insane is this? When I hear the house
pop I will freeze in fear for a few
seconds and then I get the nerve to go
check it out. Could someone please tell
me what the heck is going on?
Please Help!!!
Melanie
|
Nicotine
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Aug 2007 Posts: 11 Location: Nottingham, UK,
Posted: 09-18-07 15:43pm
I can relate to every single one of you!
None of us are alone, its such a deserved
relief for us all.
My parents went on holiday for a week the
other week, and it was hellish. I just
live with them and they left me home
alone, getting around and getting to
college was horrific i was always a mess.
I just feared dying whilst I was alone,
and having no help and believing my body
was going into complications constantly.
My worst paranoia is having a heart
attack. I still get paranoid about having
a heart attack when im with people, but 10
times worse when im alone. Part of me just
wants to live so bad, I get such such
intense fear of passing away right now...
I check my pulse ALL the time... and if i
think in my own medically unqualified
oppinion it sounds ok I do relax abit.
Otherwise, if I think its fast or weak etc
my heart sinks... anxiety builds and
builds until im paralised.
I go to the doctors frequently to check my
heart and they always say its fine. I
would like more tests done to prove to
myself everythings fine but thats easier
said then done with my anxiety record and
young age.
|
inkkey
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Dec 2007 Posts: 1
Separation Anxiety Posted: 12-11-07 17:08pm
I have always had this irrational fear,
and it started with my first relationship.
We lived together in college and whenever
we had to separate for the summers, I
would get these massive panic attacks that
lasted for weeks.
Now, 23 years later, I still have them. My
current girlfriend and I had been living
together for about 9 months and it wasn't
working out. She thought it would be
better for us live apart and I agreed. I
felt fine with the decision at the time.
But since she has moved out I have had one
panic attack after another.
I had to leave work early today because I
couldn't stop crying, and it was all
because she said she was going to be gone
over the Christmas holidays for 8 days. I
went into an utter panic.
I've been calling my psychiatrist and
can't get a return call and I don't know
what to do.
Since my girlfriend moved out I have not
slept more than 3 hours a night unless we
stayed together. In that time too I have
lost about 10 pounds because I can't eat.
If I try, I get extremely nauseous and
almost vomit.
I don't really understand why I can't be
normal. Most people wouldn't fall
completely apart if they and their
significant other moved into different
spaces. I have no idea what to do.
I find myself wanting to hit things. I
have a punching bag that I'll hit when I
feel this way, but sometimes one little
thing will set me off and I'll catch
myself right before I put my fist through
my window.
If I ever get this resolved, I'll let you
know.
Before this current girlfriend and I moved
in together, I had lived alone, happily,
for 2 years. No relationship, no problem.
I do wonder sometimes if I might have
picked up this behavior from my Mother,
who had similar attckes when my Father
would leave on business.
All I know is this can't continue. I'm
know I'm not going to die - I don't have
THAT particular fear, it's more of a fear
of actually being alone to deal with the
stuff in my head.
I alos think that this episode is lasting
longer because the girl and I aren't
breaking up. If we weren't speaking, it
may go away quicker, but knowing she's 3
miles away and sleeping is hard.
And it's not that I think she's going to
cheat on me. So with all that said, I have
no earthly idea where all this is coming
from.
Thanks for listening.
|
chocolaterie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jan 2008 Posts: 2
Anxiety Posted: 01-25-08 02:15am
Hi Everyone,
I was wondering if anyone had some good
suggestions for combating anxiety? I don't
want to take any medications..
I am married as well and live in another
country from my family and friends.. but I
have lived in this situation for more than
4 years... and just recently I've been
getting more nervous. My husband is
leaving for 3 nights and I couldn't
control my emotions. I also just turned
24. Is this normal?
|
chocolaterie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jan 2008 Posts: 2
Re: Separation Anxiety Posted: 01-25-08 02:19am
inkkey
wrote:
I have always had this
irrational fear, and it started with my
first relationship. We lived together in
college and whenever we had to separate
for the summers, I would get these massive
panic attacks that lasted for weeks.
Now, 23 years later, I still have them. My
current girlfriend and I had been living
together for about 9 months and it wasn't
working out. She thought it would be
better for us live apart and I agreed. I
felt fine with the decision at the time.
But since she has moved out I have had one
panic attack after another.
I had to leave work early today because I
couldn't stop crying, and it was all
because she said she was going to be gone
over the Christmas holidays for 8 days. I
went into an utter panic.
I've been calling my psychiatrist and
can't get a return call and I don't know
what to do.
Since my girlfriend moved out I have not
slept more than 3 hours a night unless we
stayed together. In that time too I have
lost about 10 pounds because I can't eat.
If I try, I get extremely nauseous and
almost vomit.
I don't really understand why I can't be
normal. Most people wouldn't fall
completely apart if they and their
significant other moved into different
spaces. I have no idea what to do.
I find myself wanting to hit things. I
have a punching bag that I'll hit when I
feel this way, but sometimes one little
thing will set me off and I'll catch
myself right before I put my fist through
my window.
If I ever get this resolved, I'll let you
know.
Before this current girlfriend and I moved
in together, I had lived alone, happily,
for 2 years. No relationship, no problem.
I do wonder sometimes if I might have
picked up this behavior from my Mother,
who had similar attckes when my Father
would leave on business.
All I know is this can't continue. I'm
know I'm not going to die - I don't have
THAT particular fear, it's more of a fear
of actually being alone to deal with the
stuff in my head.
I alos think that this episode is lasting
longer because the girl and I aren't
breaking up. If we weren't speaking, it
may go away quicker, but knowing she's 3
miles away and sleeping is hard.
And it's not that I think she's going to
cheat on me. So with all that said, I have
no earthly idea where all this is coming
from.
Thanks for
listening.
I think it's the fear of the unknown.
Interestingly I'm taking a class that says
we communicate primarily to reduce
uncertainty. When someone isn't accessible
(nearby) how can you communicate with
ease?
this started on wensday last week i was
fine all day then all of a sudden as i was
getting ready for bed ai got scared just
really scared then a tought came to my
head what if i die what will happen to my
kids i wont be around to protect them and
my husband wont know i died till he gets
home he works 3 shift so i started feeling
like i was getting a heart attack then my
stomach started to hurt so i vomited and
had really bad vm and i just felt like
running like just running for ever i felt
dizzy but my head felt cloudy my hands
were cold and so were my feet boy was i
scared . and my husband came home that
night and has been home with me since for
4 days but tomorrow tuesday he goes back
to working nites and well i afaraid to be
alone yes i have my kids but in my heart i
want him i feel like if anything happens
he wont be here to save me and my kids
will be left alone my kids are my life i
live for them and only them. My husbang
got up to go to work this morning and i
had a lil axiety attack but i talked to
myself i convunced my self that i had to
be ok for the kids and i eventually fell
back asleep but it is scary because i am
suppose to be me and me is a woman who is
never scared of nothing i enjoyed being
alone my husband travels for work and i
actually told hima while back that he
needs to travel more and he said ok but
know i want him home next to me i feel
like a lil girl who wants her daddy all
the tiome and i should not feel like that
during the day i am okay come the night i
am afraid to be alone to go to bed to
sleep and never wake up that scares me so
much.
