I was hospitalized twice, once at 13 and once at 14 for bulima and anorexia. The last time I was hospitalized scared me to death. My vitals were all screwed up, and they discussed sending me down stairs for tubes if I didnt start to eat anything. I was actually not able to eat anything at that point, it would come back up on its own because my stomach had collected so much acids from no food, and I had developed a very bad gag reflux. I am now 21, have not binged or purged, but I occasionally do have trouble eating. I have never been large in my life until now that I have kids. Since coming out of the hospital I didnt have thoughts of being fat and didnt starve myself. But for the last few years, I have woke up and had hard days where I cant eat. Its like I feel sick and then I dont want to eat, like everything looks gross to me. Is this the eating disorder coming back? Im not trying to get thin, I love to eat infact, and I struggle with my body not feeling like eating, because I want to eat. This usually happens when a lot of stress is going on in my life. Im praying its not the eating disorder....But I cant help but to think it is. I know that anorexia for some has a lot to do with control. Sometimes its not cuz you think you are fat, its because it can be something that you have control over when you feel like your whole world is out of control.. What do you all think?? Is it returning for me??

Anyone have and ideas of how I can help it? I feel like im so weak from not eating all the time. I probably eat a full meal like 1 time a week at most.