Feeling Helpless And Lost

If you aren't happy, then you aren't happy. There's nothing that can make that untrue.

That being said: you're not married, i'm gathering you don't have children.... What's the problem? You say "he loves me so much," but never even hint at loving him. Are you afraid no one else will love you and you might be giving that up? That's ridiculous.

Also, how old is he? I'm guessing by the difference in life goals here that he must be older. That's something that you have to consider... People are at different stages of their lives when they're different ages.

I'm not going to pretend to know what's happening, but this is what I gather from your post: you've been with this guy for a really long time. You don't want to settle down.. Least of all with him... But you also are afraid to leave. You've gotten so comfortable with being in a relationship that you don't know how to be out of one. Also, the fact that he was basically your knight in shining armor when you were having some tough times makes it even harder for you to leave because you feel like you owe it to him to stay. Am I close?

If he is just pretending nothing is happening after your drunken confessions, he is apparently having a problem, too. He obviously knows how you feel, but he probably thinks that, because you say it when you're drunk, he can pretend it never happened and not have to confront it. But you have to confront it. And the sooner the better. You don't want to be cruel to the man, but you also don't want to spend the rest of your life being unhappy and wondering what your life could have been like. You're young, and there's no reason for you to have to stop your life just because a man wants something you don't. The only strings attaching you here are emotional and, while emotional strings are tough, they can also be broken.

Sorry this is so long. Good luck to you, and I hope you get everything you want.

Well kelly it sounds to me like you have made your decision, especially if this is how you have been feeling for a while. I was in a relationship more than once when it was over for them for they held that back from me momentarily. That hurt more than anything the fact they couldn't just be real with me about the way they felt. It just hurt so bad that they drug it out knowing all the while they were done with me and wasting one anothers time.
Someone told me something once and it may be beneficial to you as well. At first I thought it sounded mean but it makes sense.

Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

Good luck