I don't even know if this is the right place to ask this.
I am 19 years old, i'm getting married in about 39 days, and I have no idea whether or not i'm a virgin. I have many, many blank spots in my memory, but I dont know if this means something as I am an incredibly spacy person.
I've had probably a total of 5 sexually themed dreams in my life, and I can remember very little about them, other than a sense of panic and suffocation. Each time I woke up feeling sick, and in pain. I know i've never willingly had sex with anyone, but I don't know if i've ever been raped. Blank spots.
Up till now i've ignored the issue. But now, it's keeping me awake at night, I can't eat, i'm dizzy and sick all the time, and i'm so agitated i'm afraid i'm going to have a lycanthropic relapse. (long story don't ask)
in two days I am going in to a woman's health clinic to get on birth control pills. My mother wants me to get a full checkup. I don't know what this includes, but i'm terrified that somehow there's a way to know whether or not a someone is a virgin, and that I might not be.
I don't know which thought horrifies me more, having to tell my fiancee (whom I told I was a virgin) or having to have more bloodwork done than is required for a marriage license. Or just knowing. As long as I dont know, I can tell myself that I am, but what if i'm not?
I can't really do research because I have no frame of reference. But does anyone know if there is going to be a way to tell if I am a virgin or not? And if there is some kind of test, what are the odds i'm going to have to take it?