Having a Small Panic Attack.... Posted: 02-21-06 02:25am
I don't even know if this is the right
place to ask this.
I am 19 years old, i'm getting married in
about 39 days, and I have no idea whether
or not i'm a virgin. I have many, many
blank spots in my memory, but I dont know
if this means something as I am an
incredibly spacy person.
I've had probably a total of 5 sexually
themed dreams in my life, and I can
remember very little about them, other
than a sense of panic and suffocation.
Each time I woke up feeling sick, and in
pain. I know i've never willingly had
sex with anyone, but I don't know if i've
ever been raped. Blank spots.
Up till now i've ignored the issue. But
now, it's keeping me awake at night, I
can't eat, i'm dizzy and sick all the
time, and i'm so agitated i'm afraid i'm
going to have a lycanthropic relapse.
(long story don't ask)
in two days I am going in to a woman's
health clinic to get on birth control
pills. My mother wants me to get a full
checkup. I don't know what this
includes, but i'm terrified that somehow
there's a way to know whether or not a
someone is a virgin, and that I might not
be.
I don't know which thought horrifies me
more, having to tell my fiancee (whom I
told I was a virgin) or having to have
more bloodwork done than is required for a
marriage license. Or just knowing. As
long as I dont know, I can tell myself
that I am, but what if i'm not?
I can't really do research because I have
no frame of reference. But does anyone
know if there is going to be a way to tell
if I am a virgin or not? And if there is
some kind of test, what are the odds i'm
going to have to take it?
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Just_Shoot_Me
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Nov 2005 Posts: 26 Location: Ontario
Posted: 02-21-06 12:11pm
I don't know if there is other ways to
check, but I know usually the hymen is
broken. But just because your hymen is
broken doesn't mean that you have had sex,
there are many ways for the hymen to
break, including wearing tampons
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penelope67
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Jan 2006 Posts: 114 Location: NH
Posted: 02-21-06 17:34pm
Yes, they cannot prove whether or not you
are a virgin, because I broke my hymen
long before I had sex (i dont know how),
so if you dont have it-it doesnt mean you
arent a virgin. But if it is intact, it
doesnt mean you are a virgin, because
sexual intercourse is defined as
penetration, but it doesnt say how deep.
If you think you are a virgin, then you
are, and thats what matters. If you have
a std, then that would tell you that
you've probably had sex before, but that
is the only way. The way to tell is to
get a papsmear, and that is what you are
probably going to be having. Its nothing
to worry about. They arent going to tell
anyone-they will send you a paper in the
mail that tells you if you test negative
or positve for anything. If you have any
other questions you can pm me if you want.
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Greeneyes23
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Feb 2006 Posts: 34
Posted: 02-23-06 08:08am
Seen as uou are getting married to this
guy and planning on spending the rest of
your life together you should really tell
him about your dreams and how you are
feeling. It will probably help. Also the
dreams could perhaps be enxiety over your
wedding night. Maybe you should see a
phsyciatrist. They could help you work
throught these feelings and dreams you
have been happening and then you can start
married life without any worries.
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dannyboygirl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Feb 2006 Posts: 192 Location: ,
I Can Relate a Lil. Posted: 02-25-06 06:31am
Im sorry to hear about what you are going
through I agree with every1 they all have
a point and you should tell him about it
it will help ease the pain. If you did
you did its black history never to be
repeated my mother always told me. But
also remember if he loves you he'll
understand whose a virgin now a days
anyway very few. But that's not the
point follow your heart and pray to god if
its that bad. I'll be praying for you
too and I hope this will pass because i'm
not a virgin and im getting married later
this year and I told my fiance I have
nightmares about my past flings it always
helps when I wake up fightin when he
cuddles me back to sleep. Your past can
haunt you though so don't go through it
alone it hurts I know personally it makes
me feel like i'm cheatin on him in my head
but I think what it is: is that I was
afraid my past was gonna break us up. So
I told him everything n the people I slept
with.So now it comes only rarely. Sorry
I kinda got off subject hope it helped
good luck bride 2 be.
