Sexual Health - Women Forum - Having a Small Panic Attack....

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Q: Having a Small Panic Attack....

asked by: SheWolf on February 21st, 2006

New User

I don't even know if this is the right place to ask this.

I am 19 years old, i'm getting married in about 39 days, and I have no idea whether or not i'm a virgin. I have many, many blank spots in my memory, but I dont know if this means something as I am an incredibly spacy person.

I've had probably a total of 5 sexually themed dreams in my life, and I can remember very little about them, other than a sense of panic and suffocation. Each time I woke up feeling sick, and in pain. I know i've never willingly had sex with anyone, but I don't know if i've ever been raped. Blank spots.

Up till now i've ignored the issue. But now, it's keeping me awake at night, I can't eat, i'm dizzy and sick all the time, and i'm so agitated i'm afraid i'm going to have a lycanthropic relapse. (long story don't ask)

in two days I am going in to a woman's health clinic to get on birth control pills. My mother wants me to get a full checkup. I don't know what this includes, but i'm terrified that somehow there's a way to know whether or not a someone is a virgin, and that I might not be.

I don't know which thought horrifies me more, having to tell my fiancee (whom I told I was a virgin) or having to have more bloodwork done than is required for a marriage license. Or just knowing. As long as I dont know, I can tell myself that I am, but what if i'm not?

I can't really do research because I have no frame of reference. But does anyone know if there is going to be a way to tell if I am a virgin or not? And if there is some kind of test, what are the odds i'm going to have to take it?

Replies(4)

Just_Shoot_Me

replied on February 21st, 2006

New User

I don't know if there is other ways to check, but I know usually the hymen is broken. But just because your hymen is broken doesn't mean that you have had sex, there are many ways for the hymen to break, including wearing tampons

penelope67

replied on February 21st, 2006

Experienced User

Yes, they cannot prove whether or not you are a virgin, because I broke my hymen long before I had sex (i dont know how), so if you dont have it-it doesnt mean you arent a virgin. But if it is intact, it doesnt mean you are a virgin, because sexual intercourse is defined as penetration, but it doesnt say how deep. If you think you are a virgin, then you are, and thats what matters. If you have a std, then that would tell you that you've probably had sex before, but that is the only way. The way to tell is to get a papsmear, and that is what you are probably going to be having. Its nothing to worry about. They arent going to tell anyone-they will send you a paper in the mail that tells you if you test negative or positve for anything. If you have any other questions you can pm me if you want.

Greeneyes23

replied on February 23rd, 2006

New User

Seen as uou are getting married to this guy and planning on spending the rest of your life together you should really tell him about your dreams and how you are feeling. It will probably help. Also the dreams could perhaps be enxiety over your wedding night. Maybe you should see a phsyciatrist. They could help you work throught these feelings and dreams you have been happening and then you can start married life without any worries.

dannyboygirl

replied on February 25th, 2006

Experienced User

I Can Relate a Lil.

Im sorry to hear about what you are going through I agree with every1 they all have a point and you should tell him about it it will help ease the pain. If you did you did its black history never to be repeated my mother always told me. But also remember if he loves you he'll understand whose a virgin now a days anyway very few. But that's not the point follow your heart and pray to god if its that bad. I'll be praying for you too and I hope this will pass because i'm not a virgin and im getting married later this year and I told my fiance I have nightmares about my past flings it always helps when I wake up fightin when he cuddles me back to sleep. Your past can haunt you though so don't go through it alone it hurts I know personally it makes me feel like i'm cheatin on him in my head but I think what it is: is that I was afraid my past was gonna break us up. So I told him everything n the people I slept with.So now it comes only rarely. Sorry I kinda got off subject hope it helped good luck bride 2 be.

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