Welcome! This is your choice and yours alone, do not allow your boy friend or parents to tell you what to do it is your body and your choice. We are here for you whatever you decide to do! The main question is is are you ready to be a mother, if not, you can always adopt or abort or continue on and raise the baby-to-be, their are a lot of single parents out there.
Good luck with your decision!
Remember please that we are here for you!

I guess you can see your partner's point of view in this -- he honestly believed that he wasn't risking an unwanted pregnancy by having unprotected sex. He knew he isn't ready to be a father.

But this isn't his decision anymore, and you should not let him talk you into doing something you don't want to do. Ultimately, you may have to choose between your relationship with him, and your chance of having your own child. In your situation, if you wanted a child in future, either with him or with someone else, and were unable to get pregnant again, I suspect you would be very angry and resentful. You need to think about your future, and what you want. Nothing is ever guaranteed -- if you do go ahead with an abortion, there is nothing that guarantees your relationship with your partner will survive anyway. You might end up hating him, or you might drift apart. If you go ahead and have the baby, you may find yourself a single parent and have to face the resentment of someone who is trapped into being a parent, but if having a child is important to you, then you need to make that choice. He is only thinking of what he wants right now -- it doesn't seem like he is understanding how you are feeling about this.

What I am trying to say is that there are no promises -- a lot of men do come around once the baby turns up, and a lot don't. You might even go off your partner once you have a baby. Or the two of you might decide to make a go of it, but somehow it doesn't work out. But all of that can happen whether you have the abortion, or whether you have the baby. The pregnancy, whatever you decide, is going to change the relationship between you and your partner.

Hi there,
well this is a hard one, I agree with what others have said it is your choice and your body but your partner is the father so does have a right to his say - by this I dont mean let him pressure you in to anything.

You say this might be your only chance of being a mother, have you explained this to him and how you feel. You both need to have a real good conversation about this (no arguements just talk it through) I think if you love each other he may come to realize that this may be the only chance he has to be a father and come round to the idea.
I guess there is always chance you could end up alone, you have to prepare yourself. How old are you?
Whatever you do don't let yourself be pushed around talk to your partner if this doesnt help, make up your decision on what you want to do then stick to it. Letting others push you into a decision could leave you bitter and resentful.

Good luck with this! Keep us posted

Hiya,

i've thought about it 1000 times.

The worst thing that could happen is I have an abortion and I can't conceive in the future which I know is a big possibility. My dr and gynae said this would be my first and last chance and it's a miracle i've conceived anyway.

My mate said i'd make an excellent mum with or without my partner, although ideally with him.

He's still really adamant about the abortion, i've explained that the dr and gynae are concerned and that they'd want me to have councelling before hand. He keeps saying thank you but I don't think he's considering my situation at all. He's just thinking about himself.

I'm really gutted as he can go and have kids with someone else in the future. This could be my only chance!!!

I guess i've made my decision but i'm just so confused. I just don't know what to do for the best. Think an abortion would kill me.

Abit confused is your decision to abort then? Because if it is after reading your post I would strongly advise against it, I dont think you are in a strong enough frame of mind to go through an abortion.
Yes your partner will be the father and yes it will affect him but the doctors are even calling this your miracle your one chance to be a real mother, I dont think anyone has the right to try and take that away from you. Be strong and listen to your heart! We are all here to help and support you, pm me anytime. Good luck to you!

If you have an abortion you need to be 100% sure about it and it needs to be your decision as opposed to just caving into the pressure your partner would appear to be giving to the option of terminating.

Have you explained to him that you are against the idea of terminating and why?

It is your body, so it is your choice what you want to do with it and its contents. However, as others have said, you must sit down and have a good, long talk with your partner about this. Some guys come around, but others don't - you'll never know until you talk things over.

Also, as the result of your medical history...How could you be sure that you would carry this child to term anyway? I'm not saying that the possibility of miscarriage is grounds for abortion, but i'm just asking out of curiousity.

Cambion, she has endo and pcos, she can carry the baby to term. It is an ovary disorder. Endo is kinda like scar tissue, but once you have conceived you beat it. I have a three year old for proof. I too suffer from endo and pcos, it is very difficult to conceive. I just wanted to tell you not to let anyone make a decision you might regret in the future. I agree that this is a miracle and could be your only chance, you need to determine which is more important: making your man mad or having a baby, possibly on your own. It seems like you are not 100% on abortion. I think you should keep the baby, but i'm biased.
Ashlee

It sounds like you need to somehow make your partner see why this child is so important to you. I am getting the sense in your post that this child is an major life step for you! I really feel you shouldn't abort, and i'm pro-choice! It's obviously not my choice, but I know that if I was in your situation, I would keep the child. If the boyfriend is meant to be, then he'll come around eventually and love his child. But this was a very rare chance for you to become pregnant; and if you want the child then I don't think the chance should be wasted just because your boyfriend has cold feet.

do you feel the need to quote everything I say? I think I have a cyberstalker.
Ashlee

Stop arguing. This is the .Abortion forum, not the .Debate forum.

If you really, really want to keep this baby, and it's safe for you to do so, I say keep it. But if you do leave your boyfriend, acknowledge that he wanted nothing to do with it and don't go after child support. Well, unless he asks to be involved after the birth.

It is your decision, not his. You are the one who will have to live with yourself if you do something you don't want to do. If you don't feel it's right, don't let him pressure you into doing it. Try talking to him. Tell him that you feel this could be your only chance to have a child and you don't want to lose that chance. If he loves you he should understand and try to respect how you feel. If you are pushed into something you will regret it. If you make the decision on your own you may not. A lot of people have children before they are ready to be a parent, but when it happens a lot of people take responsibility. Good luck!