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Scared Need to Get It Off My Chest

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Okay. I know i've got a ways to go yet (i'm 25 weeks) but I am deathly frightened of having a baby. Not the labor part. Pain doesn't scare me, i've been through so much in life that the idea of labor doesn't faze me at all. What scares me is actually being a mom. Being responsible for a tiny, helpless, little person and being responsible for him for the next 18 years or more not only financially but physically, spiritually and emotionally. That's a scary thing. I'm frightened of the commitment level involved. What if i'm some kind of abnormal freak and I don't bond with my baby? I have issues with depression what if I slip into a serious post partum and don't bond with my baby? What if i'm not a good mother? I've raised spoiled dogs, what if I raise a spoiled child? I've taken care of a lot of relatives children but that is sooo different. They go back to someone else. They're not mine. I'm not responsible for them 24/7. What if I can't afford the things I want for my child like a private education and vacations every year to someplace really cool? What if I don't get to spend as much time with him as i'd like? I already know that I won't even be able to spend the first six weeks with him because I haven't been with my company a full year yet so I only get a 4 week leave of absence. Is anyone else this scared or was anyone else this scared with their first? Is it normal or am I just going psycho? How did you deal with the lack of sleep and the lack of "me" time? I hate this, I hope it's just hormones. Sorry so long...
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replied February 15th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
Tigres, I know this is weird but you manage as for lack of sleep you sleep when baby sleeps during the day unless u have other kids then ur limited as to when u can. I think we all have this feeling when were preggo I even had it this time around (how I would manage with two) its bloody hard and elisa really tries my patience but im doing it!! I know for first time moms before u leave the hospital they will show you how to bathe, dress feed your child and will evem stand right beside you for comfort so if they offer other little bonuses take them.

Good luck!
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replied February 15th, 2006
Experienced User
Check out the early childhood classes. I am going to get more info about it and go to them. I am very worried too, and even though I wonder somtimes how I am going to do it, I just take a deep breath and tell myself that I will be able to.

If you say you have gone through so much, than you can handle this. It's your own child and I think all mothers have that special kind of love for their children.

I am scared of what to do if he gets sick or he gets fussy and I don't know why this is. Just not being able to know and figure out things, but I will try my best. This is one of the reasons why I want to take these classes, I just want someone to show me how to handle some things and maybe calm me down a bit.

It's natural to worry, you are a mother now. Don't worry about going to some place cool, it will be a few years before your child will even remember into their adulthood where they went for a vacation. I think you will be a pro by then.
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replied February 15th, 2006
Active User, very eHealthy
Re: Scared Need to Get It Off My Chest
tigresacanela24 wrote:
okay. I know i've got a ways to go yet (i'm 25 weeks) but I am deathly frightened of having a baby. Not the labor part. Pain doesn't scare me, i've been through so much in life that the idea of labor doesn't faze me at all. What scares me is actually being a mom. Being responsible for a tiny, helpless, little person and being responsible for him for the next 18 years or more not only financially but physically, spiritually and emotionally. That's a d@mn scary thing. I'm frightened of the commitment level involved. What if i'm some kind of abnormal freak and I don't bond with my baby? I have issues with depression what if I slip into a serious post partum and don't bond with my baby? What if i'm not a good mother? I've raised spoiled dogs, what if I raise a spoiled child? I've taken care of a lot of relatives children but that is sooo different. They go back to someone else. They're not mine. I'm not responsible for them 24/7. What if I can't afford the things I want for my child like a private education and vacations every year to someplace really cool? What if I don't get to spend as much time with him as i'd like? I already know that I won't even be able to spend the first six weeks with him because I haven't been with my company a full year yet so I only get a 4 week leave of absence. Is anyone else this scared or was anyone else this scared with their first? Is it normal or am I just going psycho? How did you deal with the lack of sleep and the lack of "me" time? I hate this, I hope it's just hormones. Sorry so long...



is that comany policy? (being only granted 4 weeks?) in canada you get a full year if you want to take it, no matter how long your worked at your job. Thats retarded. You need a minimum of 900 insurable hours to get your unemployment benefits. Thats it! So if you work a 40 hour week, multiply it by 4= 160 a month, it wouldn't take very many months, to accumulate that.


Like I said, I don't know what the states do...But i'd check into that forsure.
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replied February 16th, 2006
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In the states we have fmla, that gives you 12 weeks if you worked for 1250 hours and have been with your company for 1 year. If you don't meet those two qualifications (which I will not by the time the baby is born) then you don't qualify for fmla. I will get a 4 week leave of absence (that will use all of my personal and vacation time) and no additional time. I don't know what i'm going to do because the daycares will not accept an infant less than six weeks old and that leaves me with a two week gap to fill and I have no sitter.
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replied February 16th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
I am not sure about the law in pa however in fl and most other states you get 6-8 weeks to recover from your delivery. 4 weeks isn't enough for your body to heal. I work in insurance and most doctors in the states that I pay will not release the insured to rtw until 6 weeks is completed for vag delivery. You need to check with your hr department and make sure that you are able to take off that long. There is a thing we call normal recovery period (nrp) and 6 weeks at the least. I know you may only get paid for 4 weeks but you should be able to take six weeks if you have a dr's note. Get your dr to take you out fo rthat long...It's better on you and the little skoot.
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replied February 16th, 2006
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Thanks sunflower!!! You've just taken a major burden off of my mind. If I can take off that extra two weeks I think i'll send you a big appreciation present!!!! :lol: i'll check w/hr on tuesday...
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replied February 16th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
I am glad to help...A lot of people dont' understand that they get 6-8 weeks of recovery...You may only get paid for 4 weeks but you can take the other 2 off to recover. Most daycares wont' accept a baby before 6 weeks anyway. Please let me know how things work out for you.

Genipher
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replied February 17th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
As soon as I talk to hr, i'll let you know.
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replied February 17th, 2006
Active User, very eHealthy
Sometimes I worry, too, that I won't know what the heck i'm doing.

And I honestly don't mean this toward any of you, but... Then I think about some of the moronic people I know who have healthy, happy children, and I think, "if they can do it, I sure as heck can!" lol
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replied February 19th, 2006
Hi I live in the uk and I get 6 months off with pay and I thought that wasnt enough but compared to some of you I should feel luky to get so much time off
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replied February 19th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
Bella u can take a year off I think, first 6 months u get the same pay then the last 6 months u get less but still some, and u still have your job at the end to go back to??? I know tony blair extended it, and he made it the law that fathers can have 2 weeks off work when the baby is born.
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replied February 19th, 2006
When I looked into it it said that you can take 6 months off with pay
first 6 weeks will be with 90%of your pay then the rest is just £106.00 a week you can take a further 6 months off but it said that you don't get paid for this unless I missed something out, I also read that the partners get two weeks off with pay at about £106.00 a week, but thanks for letting me know and I will have another look into it about the year with pay . :)
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replied February 19th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
Ohk cool, but yeah people are lucky here, 6-12 months is a long time off work compared to what you get in other countries.
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replied February 19th, 2006
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Yea but dont yall pay like outragoues taxes and stuff? Like how much is tax when u buy something from the store?
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replied February 19th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
Yea our taxes are higher than yours, but you dont notice it when you buy something from the store. Well I dont anyway lol and I dont have much money. Im on welfare as you call it.
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replied February 19th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
Omg I got my car fixed the other day and its 10% tax on auto stuff it was like 65 dollars I think thats outrageous so if I were paying taxes higher than that id freak. Plus if u go thru aa drive thru here in virginia and spent more than $10 (which is real easy when 2 ppl buy a meal) its .99 just for going thru the drive thru im moving to my own private island thats my solution
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replied February 19th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
I live in new hampshire where there is no sales tax. It's awesome. If something says it's $2, then you pay $2. Our state motto is "live free or die".
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replied February 19th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
Yea and u can drive over to conn and buy alcohol at 18 lucky butts
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