See a psychiatrist or search the web for places in your area that help with diagnosing bipolar dissorder.
There are a few places that wont even help you if you have never been in the hospital for a mental condition. You will need some kind of history. Bipolar dissorder can run in the family.

A psychiatrist will help you work through your problems, once youre diagnosed that is. Being diagnosed is a different story. Can take quite a long time to be diagnosed correctly. A therapist will help a great deal in that area sometimes.

To be competely honest I couldn't tell you what will happen to your children if you look for help. I am assuming though that it may be worse if you don't get help.

I am bipolar myself and advice like that isnt exactly my specialty.

that is exactly how i feel. i can be on top of the world 1 min and jumping in front of cars the next. i also dont knoew what to do as i dont want my kids taken off me