I Have a Much Higher Sex Drive Than My Boyfriend :( Posted: 02-12-06 03:10am
I need sex at least every other day, once
a day would be good too.
However, my boyfriend only wants it like
every 4 or 5 days.
Its hurting our relationship and making me
insecure.
He says its just because hes been having
sex for a long time and doesn't need it as
much anymore.
(i lost my virginity to him and am always
wanting sex).
In a relationship I have to feel flirty
and sexy and beautiful. I lay down a lot
of sex appeal.
I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm not going to break up over sex but i'm
getting depressed and frustrated. Anyone
have tips?
(and if your thinking its an attraction
problem or sexual satisfication its not,
he is very attracted and he says i'm the
best he has had in bed)
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teach486
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Aug 2005 Posts: 276 Location: US
Posted: 02-12-06 08:51am
Sometimes I feel like i'm in a similar
situation. The old cliche' is it is the
husband who always wants sex, while the
wife comes up with excuses not to have it.
Not in my case. I am almost always horny
with some energy, while my hubby can go
without. Generally it isn't because he is
not interested, but rather too tired.
However, as with anyone I suppose, there
are times, too, when he just plain isn't
in the mood.
If your bf is willing to try something to
increase his drive there are herbal
supplements out there that can do that.
If he isn't willing to take something for
it, then you are left with maybe coming up
with a compromise. However, with a
compromise, if you have sex when he really
isn't willing and into it, the sex itself
may not be as good as it could be. It may
feel more one-sided, because he may not
put as much effort into it. Plus, one of
the last things you want to do is to start
making him feel like sex is a chore! If
he starts feeling like that then he may
come to resent you a bit.
I would very much like for my hubby to
have sex with me more often, but on the
other hand I also understand and respect
when he doesn't want it. So, to help out
a bit, I am now looking for new toys to
help satisfy my needs. Toys never make me
feel as good as my hubby can, but it does
help to ease the need a bit. And, who
knows, maybe hubby will enjoy
incorporating the toys into our sessions,
anyway?
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munky23
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Dec 2005 Posts: 130
Posted: 02-12-06 12:00pm
Yeah, he's 22 so I think asking him to
take any supplements would be out of the
question. I understand what your saying,
I much rather be touched by him than some
toy cause he even told me maybe I should
get something so that I wouldn't need it
so much.
I guess part of the problem is I lost my
virginity like 3 months ago so sex is
still new and exciting for me...Thus I
want it more.
He complained that his last girlfriend
only wanted it once a week or every two
weeks. Now he complains I put pressure on
him and want it all the time. But like
you said I know I have to respect his
wishes and having sex when he doesn't want
it, isn't going to happen, that's wrong
and its not going to be good sex at all.
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penelope67
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Jan 2006 Posts: 114 Location: NH
Posted: 02-14-06 15:44pm
Maybe if you try initiating it more often,
because my boyfriend always wants sex, but
I only want it if I am turned on by him.
So maybe try to turn him on or another
idea would be to play some sexy board
games-they are always fun and put you in
the right mood.
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Greeneyes23
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Feb 2006 Posts: 34
Posted: 02-16-06 12:05pm
I last my virginity 6 months ago, i'm
alsways wanting it. Sometimes my bf
dosn't feel like it. Which is fine. I'm
happy just been with him. He always
offers oral instead if he don't want to do
it. But I get off on him been excited
too. I sometimes just tease him for hours
until he finnally does want it.
Don't pressure him too much. Just do
without if he don't want it. You'll get
usede to the new pattern anyway.
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Kgirl16
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Nov 2005 Posts: 133 Location: Canada
Posted: 02-16-06 12:39pm
My boyfriend and I just conquered your
problem. He said since I was always
initiating it, it was too easy to get.
So! Usually when we watch a movie I just
lie down and don't pay any mind to him but
still act sexy and kind of look at him a
certain way, just to get it on his mind.
And if he starts initiating it, don't go
full into it with him right away. Playing
the innocent, not interested game can
sometimes work. Good luck!
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 02-16-06 12:58pm
You said you would be fine with having sex
every other day.Well 4 or 5 times a week
.I.S every other day.How can you feel the
way you do just bc he wont have sex with
you everyday?I can undersdtand if he acted
as if it was a burden on him but I think
your crazy!
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cortney jones
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Feb 2006 Posts: 52 Location: Ft.Lauderdale, florida
Posted: 02-16-06 17:29pm
Thats real crazy but im not gonna knock
you four or five times a week is a good
amount I mean I get it once a day . I
understand you are a freak but honey I
wouldnt complain unless he didnt want to
give you any at all. Maybe you should try
and calm down a lil bit and let it all
flow dont be pushy with it.
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Miko
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Feb 2006 Posts: 7 Location: Los Angeles
Posted: 02-23-06 17:36pm
You know one of the girls said that
playing the uninterested game works and it
does! Im an initiator too but lately ive
acted blah and it works. I dont get guys,
I really think that societal norms about
them being sex monsters is overrated! I
really trully believe that women are
really reorganizing the sexual revolution
once again.....Dont worry just play a
little hard to get. Men love what they
cannot get...I have finally realized that
after being in a 4 yr relationship...Good
luck
