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Q: Abortion & Choice
asked by: rightside on February 10th, 2006
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Let me first say that I am not in favor of abortions on the whole, but I do feel it's a necessary service that is needed in specific cases. I also feel that nobody has the right to tell a woman what she can or cannot do with her own body, and any that she has created. I have seen many unwanted pregnancies where the women did not terminate, and those children later became abused, sexually molested and in some cases even killed by parents who never wanted them in the first place. A fetus cannot survive outside the womb in the very early stages, so therefore it is not alive without the support of it's mother. It is much better to terminate at that time, than to bring a child into this world that is unwanted, uncared for, and unloved. Pro lifers like to picket the clinics with huge pictures of what a terminated pregnancy looks like, for the sheer sake of shock and awe, but did they ever see a crime photo of a child with his or her head bashed in, because a parent got sick of hearing them cry? I don't like to see women using abortion as a form of birth control, but I do feel that given to certain situations, where a mother feels she is incapable of raising a child, or there is a rape, illness, or chance of birth defects involved, then abortion can prove to be an alternative for these women. In a perfect world, all children should be loved, wanted and cared for, but unfortunately this is not a perfect world.
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jenn_smithson
replied on February 11th, 2006
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Thank you for posting. You may want to post this instead in either the abortion debate forum or in the abortion prochoice forum. This forum is specifically for supporting .Women who are either thinking about an abortion or who have had an abortion.
Peace,
jenn
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rightside
replied on February 11th, 2006
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Abortion & Choice
That is the purpose of my post. I am totally in support of women who need this service.
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Tylanas
replied on February 12th, 2006
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I think it's probably a nice post to add to the pro-choice forum though :)
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Cambion
replied on February 12th, 2006
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I've said this before and i'll say it again - if pro-life people love fetuses and babies so much, there should be a law made to take the unwanted children of women who shouldn't get an abortion and give them to all the pro-lifers. They love life so much, then they can take in the kids that were not wanted. Perhaps maybe that would make them shut their mouths.

But I agree with you, raven53 - unwanted kids that are kept usually end up ignored, neglected, abused, or killed. I wonder what pro-lifers would like to see more - abortions when the fetus is not developed enough to register pain in its brain, or more news stories about children being killed by their parents. Oh well. I think some of them are lobbying for the latter choice since south dakota recently banned all abortions, without exceptions for cases of rape and incest. Go figure.
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rightside
replied on February 12th, 2006
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Abortion & Choice
You hit it right on. Where are the abortion protesters when these kids are being abused, neglected, and worse? They talk about religion, and say it is a sin, and try and make women feel guilty, but in life, people die at the hand of god every day. Ever ask yourself why and how this service even came to be? And why, in the animal kingdom, do some parents reject, and/or destroy their young? Why does god make that happen? I don't know the answers, but I do know that is the way of life as god created it, and there are instances where a pregnancy should not come to term, for the mother and in most cases, I believe even more so for the child. God only knows what fate awaits a child born unwanted, but from what I have seen, it is far worse for some than what happens in those clinics.
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rightside
replied on February 12th, 2006
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Abortion & Choice
And one more thing for all the pro-lifers that read these posts...Nothing is worse than coming into this world unwanted and unloved. You're finished before you even begin...
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backhome22
replied on February 12th, 2006
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I know there are cases of child abuse and neglect, but may I just ask why adoption is not a good option in your opinion? I can see pro-choice reasons for aborting like when it puts the mother's life in danger, but what if it's a totally healthy pregnancy? I know people who were put up for adoption that live great, happy lives with thier adoptive families. So I would just like to hear your opinion as to why abortion is better than adoption.
(not saying you are right or wrong, just interested in others' point of view)


also, just to give my experience and opinion- to the person that wrote to give the unwanted babies to the pro-lifers and then see how they feel about it: my mom actually offered to take the baby of her friend's 14 year old daughter, so there are some people out there that would be willing to do it. I know she is only one person, but maybe there are more out there.
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rightside
replied on February 12th, 2006
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Abortion & Choice
I have seen both sides of this fence, and from my experiences, I can tell you that a great many adoptions do not end up as happy endings. Many, if not all of these kids have that strong need to find their real parents, and learn why they were given up. No matter how much you tell an adopted child they might have been wanted, in their heart there is always that nagging doubt, "why wasn't I good enough to keep?" I have seen some real horror stories about adopted kids. My cousin, for one was a very much wanted adopted child, but unfortunately, his mother died of cancer when he was very small, and he never got over it. When he grew, he got into a life of drugs and booze,n became homeless, and eventually ended up throwing himself out a third story window. There are cases of adopted and foster children being abused by their new parents, and worse every day. Not to say that there aren't a good many happy stories, but it is far better that there is a choice. Many adoptive parents do not want to be found, and this creates even deeper emotional feelings of inadaquacy in some kids. I could go on and on here, but all you have to do is read the papers and watch the news. There are enough sad stories out there to convince most clear thinking people.
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backhome22
replied on February 12th, 2006
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I guess there are both happy and sad stories, but such is life. I don't agree though, that you can't be a clear thinker if you give a child up for adoption. I don't think most end up in bad situations. I don't think people who hate kids are going to go through all that legal and financial work just to have a kid to abuse. Obviously, some do or there would not be cases like the ones you mentioned. The only thing is, the media only shows the bad cases, not all the good ones out there. I also don't think that a person's life isn't worth living just because they wonder about their birth parents. My dad never met his father, and I know it bothered and still does bother him, but despite that, he's a happy person with a lot of good in his life, and everbody's got problems but that doesn't mean they wish they were never born. Nobody knows what is going to happen, I just think giving the chance to live is the better choice for me. I realize that pro-choicers and pro-lifers will never agree, but I do think this debate forum is good, so if any girl on here is looking for advice on what she should do she can get all sides of the story. :)
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rightside
replied on February 12th, 2006
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You misunderstood me when I said any clear thinking person would understand that by just watching the news,with all it's horror stories about what happens to some of these children, there should be reason enough for having a choice in the matter of bearing children. I also, did not say that a person who didn't know their parents would wish they were never born, or their life wasn't worth living. Some people live very happy lives, but as I said, and you referenced it about your dad, there is always that nagging question... It would be great if every baby who came into the world was loved and wanted, but sadly, some aren't, and the resentment those parents feel having been forced to bear that child can manefest itself is many different ways, many not for the better. Early term abortion can sometimes be the best alternative. But it should be for good reasons only. In this day and age, when there is birth control everywhere, there is no excuse for as many unwanted pregnancies as there are.
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backhome22
replied on February 12th, 2006
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Sorry if I misunderstood what you were saying, too. I'm not trying to cause any nastiness, just debate. You have some good points and reasons, also.
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sandyallen
replied on February 12th, 2006
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Again b/c methods are not 100% even if they are taken the correct way and we all know that and no one is perfect, we are human, we do forget.
Raven I totally agree with you, I work with these neglected and abused children, some will never come back no matter how hard we try.
Yes their are some good foster homes but there are too many bad one's just like regular homes or houses, and older people foster homes and rest homes. It is just sad when these young girls have to go looking for love in a different way because they cannot get the love and attention in a proper way at home.
When women fall pregnant, they should have the right to abort, it should not be a political thing, heck, their are some pro-lifer's that have chosen abortion for themselves or their daughters.
What is this, south dakota does not care about the women if they die during pregnancy, it is all about the fetus or the women that will die doing their own abortion, heck, I lost a friend of the family in the early 60's because abortion was illegal and the dr's would not give her an abortion that she needed and she bled to death. This is getting political. Next thing you know is that women will not be allowed to vote. How rediculous!
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lsipes
replied on February 12th, 2006
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Quote:
they talk about religion, and say it is a sin, and try and make women feel guilty


that's what angers me off the most. ---excuse me while I rant for a minute--

they use religion as a means of argument for being "pro-life". They say it's a sin to abort/kill/whathaveyou. Ok. But they are judging those that have either had an abortion, or support the choice to have an abortion. The bible clearly states that all sin is equal. No sin is greater than another and they all must be repented. So, by them judging, they're just as "bad" (in their opinion it's bad) as those that abort/support abortion. It just angers me off how condescending and hypocritical it all is. To tell people they're going to hell is *not* a "christian" thing to do. God decides, right? "god will deal with you". Give me an effing break.

Edited because I forgot my quote!!!
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lsipes
replied on February 12th, 2006
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Re: Abortion & Choice
raven53 wrote:
and one more thing for all the pro-lifers that read these posts...Nothing is worse than coming into this world unwanted and unloved. You're finished before you even begin...


wow. That is thought provoking. Kudos!! =)
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curious_girl82
replied on February 15th, 2006
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lsipes wrote:
Quote:
they talk about religion, and say it is a sin, and try and make women feel guilty


that's what angers me off the most. ---excuse me while I rant for a minute--

they use religion as a means of argument for being "pro-life". They say it's a sin to abort/kill/whathaveyou. Ok. But they are judging those that have either had an abortion, or support the choice to have an abortion. The bible clearly states that all sin is equal. No sin is greater than another and they all must be repented. So, by them judging, they're just as "bad" (in their opinion it's bad) as those that abort/support abortion. It just angers me off how condescending and hypocritical it all is. To tell people they're going to hell is *not* a "christian" thing to do. God decides, right? "god will deal with you". Give me an effing break.



Edited because I forgot my quote!!!

there is so much being stated here that I totally agree with..Some of you ladies take the thoughts and words right out of my mouth..It is nice to know you ladies exist...Right on :) (even if some of you have been a bit angry with me..)
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sandyallen
replied on February 15th, 2006
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Curious_girl82, I am not angry at you why should I be angry at you, I do not get angry, as it is a waste of my time, heck, I do not even get mad anymore just do not go over to the pro-life forum, that was decided on, I believe before you came aboard, it just causes problems that we do not need, just go to the abortion forum board for support or the debate board or the pro-choice forum or any-where else but not the pro-life forum.
The best to you!
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curious_girl82
replied on February 15th, 2006
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Yes ma'am! (ma'am I assume) :) no, I really do agree and I do apologize for going into a forum I do not belong in :) and as far as you not getting angry anymore, how does that work out? I am being totally serious :) I am trying to make some changes in my life starting with that...Silly question, but do you go to any of the paranormal/spiritual forums online?
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acoles70
replied on February 15th, 2006
Experienced User
Life is not a choice, it is a gift. I can only speak for myself, but my religion is a big part of who I am. I am no hypocrite. I have never killed anyone, don't lie, etc. I make my mistakes, just like everyone else. But when you are asking people to debate a hot button topic like this their religion is going to be brought into it. That is common sense. That is my choice. I don't care if you like it or not, it is a debate forum. It is not the "only do what pro-choice people want" forum. I'm sorry that you all keep coming up with these half a$$ excuses for mass homicide. There are children that are brought into this world that are unloved and neglected, and there parents planned their pregnancy. So what makes an unplanned pregnancy any different? Don't say "you have never been in there shoes". I have. I was 18, just graduated high school when I found out I was preg with my son. There was no decision to be made. He is 3 and he is my life. I just wish young pregnant women knew they could do it. I went to night school and graduated with my nursing degree. Women can still be successful and live out there dreams without killing their babies.
Ashlee
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acoles70
replied on February 15th, 2006
Experienced User
bahahahahahaha123 wrote:
backhome22 wrote:
so I would just like to hear your opinion as to why abortion is better than adoption.


it is the woman's choice to make that decision. Support her choice, not yours.


i will never support someone's choice to kill someone else. No thanks.
Ashlee
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