Hey you are not a freak you are here for all the same reasons we are. You do have an eating disorder I know how you feel though like it isn't as bad or it is really an eating disorder because you don't look like you have one. I have had an eating disorder for pretty much ten years and I don't look like I have one.

I am the same way I cut as a punishment although for the past month or so ive been in treatment for my ed so I haven't done it in a while. Just like inezrina said we r here for the same reasons. I used to be just like you the same not looking or feeling like I had an ed but it was a distortion and my friends and family def saw it. Hope this makes u feel better :)

I feel just like you.... I feel I need control to stop eating. If I think i'm not gonna stop eating after I start, I just don't eat at all. Anyway, I always thinnk i've over eaten when I eat something...

Hey, your not alone, I used to cut my arms for years and ceased about 6 months ago, but more recenlty I feel the need to cut again, im out of a job and feel low and sh*ty all the time, I recently found out I have an ed and although thats only recently I have always cut my arms, I never told people for the simple reason most people I know think im the happiest person they know, I make them laugh and im always fun to be with, but the other side of me stems back to the late 90s and I thought even if I told ppl they would laugh and never take me seriously because of what im like, you not alone with this and im not in denile of my self harm I can control it mostly by taking my mind of it with other things, but if you feel that you can't stop or cut more often speak to a gp and more importantly family who will be happy to help, its nothing to be ashamed of and the family is probably the only real people you can trust with it, so don't be afraid to do it, even if you think its not a problem and you feel normal most of the time

there is always people to speak to anytime of the day :d

Ive been a cutter for about 3 yrs now and had an ed for 7 so I know a lot of ways to help with all the treatment centers ive been to just email me anytime.
Hope you dont feel like a freak anymore b/c your not alone many ppl have the same problems just as you just ask round they'll help you

im always here sarah :)

See so you are not alone and you are not a freak! Talk to your family or your school couselor or maental health, please, do not take me wrong, I am not trying to tell you that you are crazy, it is just that you might need some help and there is nothing to be ashamed of, we all need a little help sometime in our lives. When you throw up(sp) like that you are injuring your stomach, esophagus, bones, you could end up with arthritis or worse and it effects your system and your mind, you can kill yourself or end up as an invalid and you do not want that, you would be hurting those that care about you and love you. You even have people to talk to here that care! So please find help and know that we are here for you!
I wish you the best!
Please let us know how you are doing!

:? Hey

sorry I havent replied till now.
It comforts me to know im not the only one going through this.
Recently I have been able to control my purging but find myself eating only one cuppa soup daily. I have no disire for food lost my appetite and self harm regulary.
Everyone I know thinks im fat they dont say it but you can see it in there faces.
Is it possible that im losing weight but dont look it coz all my pants are big on the waste? The weirdest thing is this makes me want to lose more weight and more and more.
Peeps are starting to klick all is not right but I continue to deny.
Xxxxx

talking to your family may be very hard. Sometimes they just can see what's in front of their faces and won't believe in you. That's what i'm affraid of and also ashamed, because I feel like I can't count on them and I don't want to try and see what would happen if they knew it all. Perhaps they'd understand, but I don't believe in so, so I just don't want to try - if I tryed and it went the worst way, I would be in a deep depression like i've been before and they didn't support me then - they saw no reasons for me to feel like trash.




you see, throwing up was hurting my esophagus and my stomach, but it could have been a lot worse if I hadn't gone to the doctor and got help. I went first to the nutritionist and then to the psychologist and I also could have gone to the psychiatrist, but it still hasn't gone too far. It's important for you to talk to someone - talking to us may help you, we know and we want to help you and be helped by other people, but we are not the closest people you have: friends, family - and we are not doctors either. If you don't want to talk to your parents now, you can still go to the doctor by yourself or with a friend. I started going by myself, but i'm considering going with someone on the next time (the next appointment I have is may 3rd). Take baby steps and you'll manage to get good in a good way.
And, of course, talk to us as much as you wish and can, because we are here to hear you and to support you everytime.




yeah, you're not the only one, no, no, no, you will have to hear us too! ;)
it's great that you are managing to control your purging, have you managed to have any "zero day"? But you are still eating to few. You need to feed your body, because you need nourishment to live and do the stuff you have to! It's hard, and i'm also trying to re-educate myself about that, but you have to have more than just one lousy meal a day and also try not to skip meals. I must say that i'm trying to do it correctly, but I still skip lunch many times and have poor meals during the day (generally only two meals: breakfast and dinner).
I also hate to buy clothes, because I feel very fat and ugly... :\ but I hope that feeling goes away sometime...

Does it actually make you feel sick after eating?
Possibly you may have an ulcer,
but punishing yourself for eating is a clear misunderstanding of self-comprehension.

Just try eating small portions of "liquidy" food such as soups, mashed potatoes etc.

If you have a fear of gaining weight, the fat only comes when glycerol is mixed with 3 fatty acids (sugar baked goods = fat). For example: eating bacon will not make you fat. Eating bacon ice-cream sandwiches = pure fat.

Anyway, you aren't the only one with similar problems, perhaps you need to work on your mental awareness of what you NEED (not want) to do: which is to eat healthy, to stay happy and strong.

Good luck, and don't criticize yourself, you aren't a freak. Freaks are the ones who rape little children etc

you're not a freak hun n dont let anyone tell you that you are! but you do need some help and advice. you shouldnt punsh yourself for eating, even if you eat only 2 meals a day it wont hurt you, and like nystagmuss said try soups? and these would be beneficial to you!

i suffer with bipolar disorder and i used to cut myself too. i still have the scars. dont make the same mistake and ruin your body. find someone you can confide your worries and problems in, but who you think will listen to you and not judge. making yourself sick after eating will do you no favours. i had a friend in the same boat as you and it turned out that because she had not eaten regularly and made herself sick when she did, it affected her in many aspects of her life including ttc!

hope you are ok hun, and you can leave me a post if you need to i dont mind helping you out, ive been there done that and got the tshirt!

good luck

sydney
xxx

I know it seems that your friends and family are just being over protective and worrying when there is nothing to worry about but it is the voice of anorexia/bullimia that is telling you that nothing is wrong with you inside. You have GOT to realise that that voice or feeling inside of you that makes you think that you shouldn't eat or should make yourself sick or should hurt yourself or punish yourself is LYING to you. It is an illness and it is an illness that kills people. I know how hard it is not to give in to it and not to starve yourself and feel guilty for eating and feel that you deserve every bit of it but you don't. But there is absolutely nothing good that will come out of starving or vomiting or cutting. Don't let an eating disorder control you because it does not want to help you or protect you or make you feel better and it is not the right thing to do it, it LIES. That is all it does. DON'T give in to it. Don't let it suck all of the happiness and beauty and life out of you because that is all it will do. You might be thinking that thats all you deserve or that is what you need or that is what has to happen but IT'S NOT. Nobody in all the world deserves to starve or cut or make themselves sick. No one. You must tell yourself that because it is the truth. Please believe me and please believe your friends and family because they can see what it is doing to you, you probably wont be able to see because your eating disorder is making you blind to the extent that it is making you ill and taking you over. Don't let it. Fight it. Talk to your family about it and please please go and tell your doctor that you have the symptoms of an eating disorder and please tell them the truth. I hope that you recover for your friends and your family but most importantly for YOURSELF. Because you deserve to be healthy and to eat and to enjoy life, don't ever let it tell you that you don't. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Love Lucy