Relationships and Marriage Forum - to Have a Threesome

Relationships > Relationships and Marriage Forum > to Have a Threesome

Q: to Have a Threesome

asked by: bitsy690 on February 6th, 2006

New User

My boyfriend and I have been talking about having a threesome for a very long time. He says he doesn't mind what we do but he would like to do something because he is a little bored. We actually found a guy who agreed to having a threesome with us. He is straight but he would get turned on by me being with another man. I'm not sure about all of this. I would never want him to be with another woman. He has said that he would enjoy being with another woman but only if I didn't have any problem with it. I must admit it does turn me on to think of being with another man...But i'm not really sure about it. I'm also afraid that if I go ahead with it and do it that he would expect me to bring a female home for him.
Also, the guy that we are going to do the threesome with is someone that I cheated on my boyfriend with. My boyfriend knows about the affair and has forgiven me...But the whole situation seems a little wierd to me.
We have talked about having a threesome for years...I'm not sure if I will ever be ready for it... But, I also don't want to bore him. He is afraid that I will cheat on him...I think that's why he has been talking about doing it so much.
Should I bring a female home for him? Should I go along with a threesome (with a male or female)? I know I will feel jealous. And I know I will feel some guilt if we a bring a guy home. I'm not sure what to do. I want him to feel excited and do different things and be open to his desires.

Replies(5)

backhome22

replied on February 7th, 2006

Experienced User

I really don't think this is a good idea considering the situation. Jealousy causes all kinds of problems in relationships. If you guys really wanna do it though, i'd suggest at least setting up guidelines before you do it.

Sarah1978

replied on February 13th, 2006

Experienced User

It all sounds a bit weird to me that he would want to do this with someone you have slept with and you don't sound like you want to do it, so don't go through with it just to please your boyfriend, i'm sure he will understand if you aren't comfortable with it. Jealousy can destroy a relationship, I have never had a threesome with my husband as I don't think I could handle the emotional side of it and I would be to afraid it would ruin our marriage. This is a big decision don't get pushed into anything and remember that the fantasy is usually better than the reality!

jesticle

replied on February 14th, 2006

Experienced User

Ok my bf and I have also spoke about it for ages a friend of mine had just moved in with us now I never really wanted him to be with another woman but i'd be ok with another guy(sounds unfair I know but he agreed)so my bf's best friend to whom i'd slept with a few times b4 my partner n I got together he came over and all 4 of us spoke about it and decided we would do it I was ok about him with my friend coz she didnt have caca on me I felt good about that if it was someone better lookin than me it wouldn't have happened, anyways we did it but put a time limit on it 30 mins as soon as they alarm went off that was it ok I really really enjoyed it well we all did but I felt so low afterwards so unfaithful the whole lot and so did my partner he thought I enjoyed it more than him and after that our sex life soared it made us appreciatte each other and our relationship more we dont regret doing it but we wouldnt even consider it again

Tamadrummer

replied on February 14th, 2006

Active User, very eHealthy

I guess if it were me that were in the situation I would not accept even the thought of this being expressed in our house.

There is no need to commit if you want to be out fooling around with other people. I have no problem with folks that choose the single life and like being capable of being with someone different each day or week or whatever they need.

I have divorced 2 women for cheating on me. The first had a miracle pregnancy while I was on patrol in the persian gulf, we were gone for 8 months and she was 6 months pregnant.

The second was able to cheat because I worked alternating shifts 12 hours at a time and so she would "go out with the girls" and I guess pretend to be single for that time.

There is no place in my home for more than 2 in the marriage.

Jolie_3110

replied on February 23rd, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

For starters why have a man that you cheated with as the third party?! This seems odd and if your not up for this 100% then don't do it!
Alot of people fantasize about it then find when they do it for real that it is not what they wanted at all.
Your relationship has to be very strong to withstand something like this, I am very open minded and not against these things but by what you have said I dont think this is right for you. I think maybe your partner still may have issues on you cheating that still need to be resolved

Learn About Us

Get Help

Join In

Do More

We comply with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health
information:
verify here.

The site is not a replacement for professional medical opinion, examination, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your medical doctor or other qualified health professional before starting any new treatment or making any changes to existing treatment. Do not delay seeking or disregard medical advice based on information written by any author on this site. No health questions and information on eHealth Forum is regulated or evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and therefore the information should not be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease without the supervision of a medical doctor. Posts made to these forums express the views and opinions of the author, and not the administrators, moderators, or editorial staff and hence eHealth Forum and its principals will accept no liabilities or responsibilities for the statements made. Schizophrenia health sitemap.
This page was last updated on January 1, 2009.
© 2008 eForums, Inc