Grief and Loss Forum - Anyone Lost a Parent/loved On to Suicide?

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Q: Anyone Lost a Parent/loved On to Suicide?

asked by: collegegrl3 on February 6th, 2006

New User

I was just wondering if anyone has ever lost anyone they were close to-to suicide? I lost my dad a few months ago to suicide, and he was my best friend and the only person that I told everything to and the only one who made my life great. He always had the right things to say and always made me happy. I just wanted to post this question because its not a topic on the website, if you look up suicide on here.....It comes up with abortion stuff. I just wanted to know I guess how you all are doing because I know its the hardest thing in the world. Also, grieving is not all that easy too. I am only 20 some years old and I have had to deal with tough issues but nothing like this. It is sometimes hard too because I was the one who came home from college the day he did it and I was the one who found him.
I'm okay right now but I was definitly depressed weeks after it. And one more thing--my mom is already dating people and going on weekend trips with different men--call me "old fashioned" or traditional but I think that is just wrong (b/c its just too soon)and I really don't talk to her as much but I never really was close with her to begin with since I always told my dad everything.
Anyways, ill stop rambling but I was just curious about how you all are doing and how you grieve because I never really talk about it with anyone.

Replies(5)

Ani_stasia

replied on April 17th, 2008

New User

I lost my grandfather a year ago to suicide. We were very close when I was little, but then we had a falling out of a couple years, and then he got real sick and was dying and didn't want to be a burden for my grandmother so he shot himself in the head. We never did patch up our relationship. I experience many different emotions...some I feel a little guily about, but hey I can't change my emotions.
I feel sad that he died and I mourn for the relationship we once had.
I feel angry over what he said and did that caused our falling out. I kept waiting for him to apologize, and now just because he died am I just supposed to forget all the hurt he caused me?
I feel angry and hurt that he killed himself without apologizing or at least saying goodbye to me, or letting me resolve my hurt feelings with him.
I feel guilty for all my anger towards him...

punkybrewster

replied on May 29th, 2009

New User

i lost my dad to suicide about ten eleven years ago and not a day goes by were i crave for him and wish he was here. they say it gets easier it does but you miss them more as time goes on i miss him more and more everyday.

monie

replied on June 28th, 2009

New User

I lost my husband 2 months ago. I am now left with this little girl and have no idea what my next steep is. He was only 24 and he left nothing to let me know way he didn't this. I'm filling very lost, he was my best friend. Thank you for your post I fill like there might be other people that might under stand. As for your mother I do think that it is to soon. I know the vow's say till death do us part but for me there will never be another man in this life for me so i have to wait till the next to be with my true love.

bamagirl1

replied on July 1st, 2009

Experienced User

i lost my mother, my grandfather, aunt, moms cousin, great grandfather all to suicide. its the family curse i lost all my family by the time i was 30 my older brother was murdered at 21 my older sister died of heart problems and my father was missing a week before he was found he was a long haul trucker and died in his truck. so do i know grief boy is that a underststement. others died of cancers i struggle with depression since i was very young the problem in my family is nothing was talked about. i refuse to be that way with my son and husband we are open about everything. so in future open up to your children and husband let them know from thee beginning this is an important issue with you. and talk about it. good luck ask me anything you may need i know how you feel.

cmfan

replied on July 4th, 2009

New User

Bamagirl1, I am so sorry for your losses. You are right, talking is so cathartic. I lost my mom to suicide 2 yrs ago, she was 75. Total shock, nobody had any knowledge at all of her depression, except my father. He did not know the extent, nor did her doctor.

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