After five months of hell, I have decided to give up on Lutera. Before I tell you why, I will give background information regarding my "baseline" period:
-horrible period with cramps that rob me of my ability to function
-ovarian cysts that gnaw at me regardless of the time of month
-mood swings and angry outbursts that now seem laughable in retrospect
-diarrhea and nausea due to a prostaglandin sensitivity
-heavy bleeding with anemia
I tried to stop my period (which I will never do again) by taking only the first three rows of each packet. I bled continuously for two months or so but was determined to hang on until the pills "kicked in," but unfortunately that never happened. Soon, things were much worse. The side effects include the following, but I couldn't possibly articulate the intensity of this experience:
-weight gain of 30 lbs. in a few months (due partially to depression/lack of appetite)
-chest aches
-numbness and pallor in extremities to the point where I thought my limbs were clotting
-continuous bleeding, plus a full period of normal (gruesome) intensity
-painful full-body sensitivity to touch
-inability to eat more than 6 ounces at a time; taking daily vitamins made me too full to eat
-sporadic increase in breast size (an F cup to begin with)
-zits that are minuscule, but my skin was flawless before, so it is definitely a side-affect
-confidence is gone; I am continuously anxious
I lacked the will to even bathe or feed myself, or leave the couch or bed many days. Luckily I am unemployed, or I would have lost a job in that state. Yesterday, I had the worst day of them all:
-depression, leading to serious thoughts of suicide. Deep down I knew it was just a mood swing, and did not act on these urges but it was disturbing.
-uncontrollable crying. I couldn't stop crying, as if I was in mourning. I felt a bottomless despair, that my life was meaningless, that my marriage and career were shams. My husband forced me to eat something after a day of starvation, and I sobbed even as I ate a slice of bread. Even in that state I thought that was a pretty funny-looking scene. Today is the first day off of the pill, and apparently the body develops a dependency so I may shortly experience withdrawal. I don't care; nothing can compare to this nightmare. Please tread softly, friends.