Has anyone ever heard of arrested development? Along w/ schiz., I have arrested development. It's when you've stopped developing (socially, mentally, in every way) after a certain age, usually around 13. It's as if you're stuck at that age even though you're technically older (however old you are). (i'm 23 by the way). It leads to a life full of pain & fustration, it's a very difficult life & i'll tell you why. If your mental capacity (as far as reasoning, academics, being able to anything school related) is always stuck at 13, you will have hell in high school & college (this was my xperience) because you will struggle with your school work (problem solving, anything involving academics); inside the classroom & out. If you have the attention span of a 13 yr. Old, how can you put in those hours to complete your school work/make good grades?
You might not have the ability to learn from xperience & this can cause you to make the same mistakes over & over, (which is hell also).
There's no way you can handle adult situations & make the right adult decisions bcause your mind hasn't developed to that point yet (this is very difficult for you & you always feel awkward bcause your mind is really not ready for these things yet)
you may have the social skills of a 13 yr. Old & feel that you don't care about certain things in your life that you should (these adult things are frustrating for you & you just don't want to deal w/ them at all bcause you still have the mind of a 13 yr. Old). Being able to function as an adult is extremely difficult & frustrating, just hell to make it plain & simple.
I have this & life was so frustrating & difficult bfore I knew I had it; I read a book explaining it & a light went off at that moment bcause I finally knew what was causing all these problems after many painful years.
Really think about your life & if this is your situation (having the mind/social skills of a young adolescent & not being able to handle & deal with "adult" decisions and other things, because your development in every way or most ways was arrested (hindered or held back).
Can anyone relate?? Please reply if you can or if you think this is you.
This explains me in so many ways. ecspecially, not being able to deal with adult siduations. I never understood why others seemed so grown up and I wasn't. It's cost jobs, friends, my life.
I know why it happened. I was suffled around foster homes most my life. But, my parents overcame their alcohol problems. My mom, up to her death. We were close. She was my world. My cheerleader,the unconditional love.
When I was 12yrs. old, I've been told that is the worse time to lose a close parent, we were in a horrid car wredk with a log truck, running a red light, and the it turn over on us, fully loaded. I wasn't unconscience right away. I knew I was dead, so I prayed. Hearing your bones bread and your own spleen rupter didn't even compare to hearing my mon choke on her on blood. They say she died quickly, but I was there and she suffered.
After that my dad began drinking and decided to play house. If you know what I mean. I can act grown. I raised a great son, no trama. but i will never be able to relate to people my age, I'm 40. So, I keep to my family. My husband, son and daughter. I'm learning to be grown but will never be as responsible as i should be. Is there any cure for this? Is there hope that one day I can quick acting?If you know of anything, at all, pleast write on this site. Thank you. Sincerely J.
Just expounding on an old post, it's still relevant is it not?
I would say that one who isn't developing past certain ages shouldn't feel left out at all, supposed mature people are only morphing into something just as rediculous as a child, I mean, how many adults make actual sound desicions and all of those supposed mature things that they do. Only different styles of the same thing, humanity.
We are all growing children here, even if you are seventy you are still learning things aren't you, well if you aren't then you need to start asking more questions.
Arrested development would be only the lack of morphing into something more monstrous in my opinion, and they call it maturing, that's a load of b s isn't it, i've met more mature five year olds than alot of these grown and matured people. Haven't you?
And after seeing the things that "adults" go through and do, to themselves and others, no thanks, Ill have to pass, Ill just have to be patient won't I.
Oh, and on that post up there, thats awful to hear that you were in such an awful crash and witnessed such a thing, I don't want to meet the person that "deals" with that maturily. If it is anything other than tears and scarring, you've got it all wrong then don't you. Why do children always follow the adults? As if the adults Knew what they were doing.?
I think that arrested development may be more of an oppurtunity than a problem, you have the chance to go your own way, not to follow the blind, and guess what, it's simple isn't it, perhaps even a child could figure it out.
You guys might be more "mature" than you think in my opinion.
You've missed the whole point. Arrested development would mean your choices would be poor ones and you wouldn't likely learn from your mistakes.
This means life is hell and you're likely chronically (clinically) depressed for life and/or develop numerous disorders such as narcissistic personality disorder, anti-social disorders, etc.
It's not a joyful expression of youth as an adult or an opportunity because you don't have the capability of understanding it until most of your life is used up. Maybe if a caring person recognized it you could get help but most of us out there with this issue have burned too many bridges.
A friend who has Arrested Development is taking a video class (Dr. Paul Hegstrom) called Life Skills and there is definitely healing taking place. He has shown improvement in thinking before he acts and recognizing when it happens. I just started reading the book called Broken Children, Grown-Up Pain.
Guys 9,999 out of every 10,000 kids are born genius, its adults who inadvertently de-genius us. Meaning the older we grow the more we degenerate so to speak. I am suffering from severe trauma, with respect to arrested development my age was before the age of 5, where 90% of the brain is formed. I was an elite athlete, completed a degree had everything going until it finally caught up to me and now i am mentally impaired on disability. Unable to work. All my hard work for nothing. My life is ruined. However in the bible it says we should become like children again, so in a way it is a blessing. This life is only a small notch in our eternal life. The next is incomprehendable, so i turn to GOD, at least im trying to. And i try to do good before i go. We cant change the past, Drs wont say whats wrong with me so i know its hectic. All i can suggest is turn to God, repent, and just have fun. Dont ever let anyone take away ur smile thats the only thing in this life u have. Just do things at your own pase and enjoy what u do, or at least try to enjoy agin. Just think and im not trying to say our issue are irrelevant, however looking at the bigger picture, there are kids out there born with their life over already....no education, poverty stricken.... no medicine not even food. Every day they hurt cause of hunger and medically treatable diseases. They have no hope and they will most likly die, if not suffer the rest of their lives. I need intensive help but when i think about this i transcend my own suffering and it kinda helps. Just remember guys...... all i can advise is try and have fun and turn to God. Anyone interested in discussing these issues i am more than happy to assis or even assist me. God Bless....
johndoe381, you say so many things I've experienced.
I'm now 60 years old.
I'd never heard of this Arrested Development till a few weeks ago.
I was watching TV, Alcatraz, and Sam Neill said :
" Arrested Development. Its what happens when we're traumatised during childhood. We remain the age we were when the trauma occured-FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES."
Thats when my light came on!
I do feel like a wee boy a lot of the time but did'nt know why.
I can still hardly comprehend it. Its really quite unbelievable!
Its hard knowing my son is more mature than I am. He's 20 now and in great mental health.
I thank God that Ive found out, albeit a bit late, why I never fitted in anywhere. I've lost jobs, friends, family, all because I really didn't know or understand what was happening.
Now I'm trying to behave like an 'adult' and trying to stop acting as j68 so accurately puts it.
God Bless everyone who suffers from this disorder.
LOL yeah thats when i found out about it. Apparantly if has major effects on social ability. Well the first step is always acknowledgement of tghe issue before you can work on the problem. Now that we know thanks to TV heheheh. We can be concious about it. After all we can do is try. Just dont let no one take away your smile.Always try and better your self because that is how we better..the second we stop we stagnate and degenerate. Just go on about ur life knowing its the social interactions that suffer greatly...and anyone worthy to be in your life will understand...those who do not maybe shouldn't be in ur life. I wouldn't say ur son is more mature obviously you have lessons only an elder would know. We are different thats all. If you have good values and good beliefs and you try to better yourself...anything can be accomplished. A Councillor would do wonders...I would only suggest an honors psychologist as most of em are idiots and lie with your emotions. Just surround yourself with people who love you for you if at all possible inform them...and never stop trying to be a better person.... that's about all anyone can do...God Bless...also i think the more you try the more you overwhelm yourself when you think negatively and become what your trying not to be....just accept it...know it...and better yourself continually...you'll see what your trying to do will come naturally...its when we try too hard that we lose touch of what were trying to achieve...to be the son of God like jesus is to be godly like...the bible is all you need...its the manual for life..
I found what helps tremendously is to live a life of truth. The moment you start to lie or tell half truths... stop being true to yourself the moment you experience hell. I found that has helped and transformed me tremendously to a point where i am capable of making sensible decisions. The key is not to go wild...have some restraint and live a life of truth - hence the recommendation of the bible. See no matter how much darkness you bring to the light...it will never fade...on the contrary if you bring a single light into the mass of darkness...the light destroys the dark/evilness and guides the way...God Bless
"You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore."
"God comes to our lonely, anxious hearts and whispers our name. God says "I see both the fear you have of closeness and the deep longing you have to belong. I have come to comfort you and to respond to your need. I have been seeking a relationship with you. You belong. You belong to me. You are my child."
Dude chill. If you notice time between each post is like months. Patience is a virtue. You cannot expect someone to be on 24/7 to reply immediately when you need. If things are that urgent I suggest seeking mental health such as a psychologist. Anything else I will try and help but understand with out professional help, you cannot honestly expect people online to be you saviour and when you expect it for that manner. Whats up what ya need???