Pregnancy Jealousy Advice

It might be a bit disappointing to have somebody else steal your thunder, but seriously- without wanting to sound mean- get over yourself.

You are not the only ones who can decide to try for a baby whenever you want to. Women are not going to stop geting pregnant just because you are trying.
Nobody is going to be childish enough to say, or even think you are "copying" by having a child!!
Your in laws might not even conceive straight away- you might be pregnant ages before them- or, they might have had their baby and everything while you guys are still trying.
Just calm down. You are getting way ahead of yourself- they might change their minds- so might you guys.
Either way, everyone has their own choices- it's not your inlaw's fault their decision co-incides with yours, you've decided to be private about it- they've decided to share it with everyone. There is nothing you can do about it. Cheer up- it will still be your first child together- your in laws could be pregnant with 10 kids and it's not going to make yours any less special.
Just hope for a healthy pregnancy for both of you. Get things in perspective-if this is the biggest worry you have about your pregnancy-then my god-thousands of women would l o v e to have your problems.

Thanks for the advice, but you could have been a little nicer about it.
The only reason I said that she would say that we are copying is that's the kind of person she is.

Hey, i'm sorry- I guess I might've sounded a little harsh- I have to keep remembering things don't read the way they sound when you say it to somebody-know what I mean?
If one of my friends or sisters came to me with that same issue, I would've teased them out of it like that.

Had a bit of a laugh about taking ourselves so seriously y'know?
I guess we do tend to practce a bit of "tough love"- well not exactly tough, more like... Humourous love (???)
i do hope you get pregnant soon, and I do wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy- I guess what I meant to say is- nothing can really take away the specialness unless you let it- don't sweat the little things.

You sister in law sounds a bit nutty- I always enjoy a little private laugh at crazyness like that- I call it "apprieciating the differences between us"
sounds like you will have plenty to "appriciate" if you are pregnant at the same time and she's all trying to make some crazy competition out of it.

Sometimes being annoyed, or being amused is a choice- choose ammused as often as you can

goood luck !!

Thanks, yeah when I started thinking about it, if she say something stupid which is expected, others will realize that is just how she is, everyone know how silly she could be. They're freaking out already that they're going to try to have another one. We thought they were getting a divorce a few months ago. Whatever, i'm not going to put more stress on trying to conceive. We're ready and that's all that counts.

Your life sounds just like mine ive been trying to conceive for 2 years now i've just had a laparoscopy and the doc's told me the best thing is to get pregnant straight away because I have more of a chance now until the endo comes back well anyway my sis in law just found out she's pregnant the first grandchild for the family now they think im copying because ive told everyone now we're trying to conceive where as we kept it private b4.
It will be a competition because thats how my family is and its already started "i bet my child will be gorgeous oh yours will be ok too I guess" them sort of coments I hate it and it seems like if I dont conceive then it will be a lot harder for me to cope with the smart ass comments, anyway good luck and take care

Thanks for sharing. I'm glad to know i'm not the only one in this situation.
Good luck!

Wow, ok I do think you are over reacting a bit. But you cant do anything about it as far as your sister in law getting pregnant. And really thats their business if they want to get pregnant. I highly doubt anyone will say you are copying them-an d if she does then just tell her she's fricken nuts.

My story is abit different but I can see where you are coming from,

when I was 18 I was going out with a man who was horrible to me I fell pregnant and we split up, I never saw him again after that day. It was a really hard time for me and I found the pregnancy really hard, I wanted the baby but the thought of doing it on my own depressed me. My parents were really supportive of me but I couldnt help thinking that I had shamed them. When I was 8 mths gone and feeling at my lowest my sister invited us all over for dinner. It was there that she made the announcement she was expecting their second child, I felt so shut out, I no it will sound silly but no-one celebrated the fact I was pregnant but everyone seemed to be so happy for my sister. It was horrible watching her and her hubby picking out baby names. I had to do that all alone. I was extremely jealous and I stopped doing things with my her because of it. I guess I blamed my unhappiness on her, I thought our parents would love her baby more, I thought that everybody would just cast my baby aside just the way I had been (or so I thought)

this carried on over a year both babies were born but I resented them so much. Then I dont know why it happened but one day feeling lonely I just sat there thinking to myself and I realized that the only person who was to blame was me, the only person who treated these babies different was me, my mum loved them exactly the same and was proud of both. By getting myself stressed about everything I was the one comparing the children, I was the only one who had the problem. I tried to chill abit after that day and soon started doing things with my sis again, and now both our boys are 4yrs old and they have become best friends and do everything together. I guess if your sister-in-law wants a baby then there is nothing you can do about it, dont get yourself so worked up that you get bitter about it, like I did. You will find that when your baby gets here that she/he will have its own little personality that will make it special and precious in its own right. Best of luck to you!

Thats a good lesson to learn from. When I lost my baby at five months it was so hard and on top of that one of my closest friends and I were pregnant together. I was jealus inside but I didnt show it because I knew that wasnt right. I even threw her a baby shower and even though I was happy and excited for her I was looking at her belly thinking, " I should still be pregnant right now too."

when you get pregnant try to just be grateful that you are blessed with a child and if she gets pregnant too, then your baby will have a cousin around the same age!

I have a similar experience. My sister in law got married 3 months after me and now she is pregnant, giving birth in april. When I was told that she was preg. I was really upset and screamed at my hubby of his lousy sperm! For once, I thought I will be the first one getting preg. Both of us have been married for 3 long years and for a longest time, I was hoping to get preg. Anyway, my mother in law was soooo happy and everything is about her and the soon to be born grandson. I was obviously jealous. I don't know how to cope with it until I decided that it is their live and god gives and take away things from us and I have to learn to trust god and his providence.

I understand how u feel cos I feel that too. I think it is standard for those who r trying n trying n watch others get pregnant just like that n the worst is for them to talk in detail about their pregnancy right before u.

My younger sister is getting married in july 2, 2006 and if she gets pregnant I would be happy for her but extremely shut down for me. But I guess I will overcome this problems as time goes by.

Take it easy!

I can relate to the whole 'competition' thing. My husband and I started trying in december. Two days before my period was due, right at christmas, my older sister announced she was three months pregnant with their second child. I was so excited that we may be pregnant together. Then, two days later my period came. My sister-in law announced the next week that she was also pregnant, two months along. I am trying really hard to be positive and happy for everyone. It gets harder as the months tic by and we still are not pregnant. I know it will happen when it is supposed to and stress doesn't help, but it still bothers me that everywhere I look people are getting pregnant. I know that I just probably notice it a lot more now, but it is still hard. My husband is taking me to cancun, mexico for a week to get my mind off of everything. We leave in two days. For all of you who are trying to get pregnant right now, you are not alone. There are many of us out here who feel your frustration and are rooting for you, too! Keep your chin up, gals.

Hopefull - relax and have a great trip. I tried for a year and a half to get pregnant. Finally did and then had a miscarriage. The doctor told us to wait 3 months before trying again. In month 2, we went on a cruise. We just relaxed and enjoyed our selves and what do you know, I found out I was pregnant a couple weeks after we got back. She's our little souvenir!