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holidaycheer01
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Dec 2005 Posts: 19 Location: Jackson, MI
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I'm Pregnant....boyfriend Wants An Abortion.
Posted: 01-29-06 08:43am
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I really don't want an abortion but I told
him i'm willing to look into all the
options. Has anyone had the pill
abortion or vaccum? What was it like?
Everytime I think about keeping it he gets
mad. I just need to talk to someone who
has done it.
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teach486
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Aug 2005 Posts: 276 Location: US
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Posted: 01-29-06 09:32am
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It isn't your boyfriend's choice to make,
plain and simple. He helped to create a
life, and now he has to grow up and deal
with the consequences of his actions. You
do what feels right to you. Do not let
anyone pressure you into doing something
that you won't be able to live with. If
you want to keep it, keep it. If you do
not feel right about an abortion, consider
adoption.
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lsipes
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Jan 2006 Posts: 325
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Posted: 01-29-06 11:06am
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I agree wholeheartedly. Do not let him
force you into anything. You're going to
be the one that has to live with it for
the rest of your life!!! He has no right
to tell you that you *should* have an
abortion. And to be honest, if I had a
boyfriend like that i'd dump his ass
anyway.
Looking at all of your options is the best
route to take but do not let him pressure
you into any decision that you will
regret. Why does he get mad? What are
his reasons for wanting you to abort?
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holidaycheer01
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Dec 2005 Posts: 19 Location: Jackson, MI
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Posted: 01-29-06 11:38am
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Well he's been really sweet to me telling
me he just isnt ready and that he wants us
to wait a few years, get married and then
try again. But he doesn't want anything
to do with a baby right now. He just
feels we arent ready I guess.... Its so
messed up :(
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Worried_Dee
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jan 2006 Posts: 1 Location: North Carolina
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Been There, Done That
Posted: 01-29-06 11:50am
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Well, I am 15 and I went through the same
thing that you are going through. I found
out that I was pregnant on christmas of
05. I told my boyfriend and he was
telling me to get a abortion, but for the
right reasons, anyway I had mixed feelings
about the situation I wanted to keep my
baby, but if I was to keep it then I will
be taking care of it by myself but I never
came to a decision. He had set up a
appointment for january 28 at the abortion
center so I had until then to make my
decision but I had a miscarriage on
january 14 so lucky I didn't have to go
through that horrible experience.
But do what is right for you and your
family. And hear your boyfriend out about
the situation, if there is a real serious
reason to why he dosen't want a child then
consider. But don't let this stress you
out and you end up miscarring like I did
before you make up your mind. Just sit
down and talk to him and maybe he will
understand where you are coming from and
say "baby, let's have our baby!" :d
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fatfamily02
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 3050 Location: Georgia, USA
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Posted: 01-29-06 12:47pm
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.D.O. N.O.T let anyone talk you into
abortion--boyfriend, mother, father,
sybling, it is you decision. And
seriously it is homicide--please think
very hard if you are planning on doing it.
It will affect your life forever.
God does not approve of this kinda thing,
so you might think of that also.
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Lalee
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jan 2006 Posts: 991 Location: South Carolina
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Posted: 01-29-06 14:39pm
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First of all, fatfamily, it is not fair or
right for you to try and scare that girl
by saying those things. Whether you
believe they are true or not, not everyone
is like you and you have no right to try
and use .God to force her to make a
certain decision.... It makes you just as
bad as her boyfriend.
As for you, holiday, don't let him or
anyone else pressure you into anything.
In the end: yes, he does have a say in the
child's life, but he's not the one who
would have to go through the abortion.
I'm not saying having one or not having
one is the way to go; it's different with
everyone and every situation. What you
should do is just think hard about what's
best for you... Whether it be having an
abortion, having the baby and putting
him/her up for adoption or keeping the
baby. There are other options than
abortion if you aren't ready for a
child.
Good luck to you, hon, and let us know
what happens.
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acoles70
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 191 Location: KY
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Posted: 01-29-06 15:31pm
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First off, he doesn't have a say in
whether you keep the baby or not. He
might choice to be a deadbeat and walk
away. He layed down, he needs to own up
to the consequences. Babies aren't just
there for whenever it is convient for him.
Do not let someone else make this
decision for you. You will have to live
with it the rest of your life.
Ashlee
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fatfamily02
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 3050 Location: Georgia, USA
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Posted: 01-29-06 16:30pm
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| lalee
wrote: | first of all, fatfamily, it
is not fair or right for you to try and
scare that girl by saying those things.
Whether you believe they are true or not,
not everyone is like you and you have no
right to try and use .God to force her to
make a certain decision.... It makes
you just as bad as her boyfriend.
As for you, holiday, don't let him or
anyone else pressure you into anything.
In the end: yes, he does have a say in the
child's life, but he's not the one who
would have to go through the abortion.
I'm not saying having one or not having
one is the way to go; it's different with
everyone and every situation. What you
should do is just think hard about what's
best for you... Whether it be having an
abortion, having the baby and putting
him/her up for adoption or keeping the
baby. There are other options than
abortion if you aren't ready for a
child.
Good luck to you, hon, and let us know
what happens. |
facts are facts and she needs all the
facts to make an informed decision. I
could say "you will be damned if you do
this"---but that is .Not what I said--she
does need to think of that-- for her
.Emotional well being. and if
you dont like what I say about it maybe
she could go talk to a pastor or preacher
about it.
Spiritual facts are facts, whether you
believe them, or believe in them--they are
truth--and indeed fact. More true, and
factual than anything else in this
world!!! Just because a person says he
dont believe dont mean it is not true, or
that it will go away. For it is truth
always and forever.
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 01-29-06 16:48pm
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Hi there! I totally agree with what
lalee said. Please do not let anyone
tell you what to do with your pregnancy,
it is your body and your choice! You
might also post this in the abortion
forum, but I think you have a pretty good
idea here. We are here for you whatever
you decide!
Good luck with your decision!
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diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005 Posts: 3333 Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 98
Thanked:159
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Posted: 01-29-06 16:49pm
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Hun make an informed decision,
talk to a cousellor at planned parenthood
learn all your rights and see what you
would be entitled too if you have it, give
it up for adoption or abortion. The
choice is yours 100%, if anyone tell you
what to do with your life they are not
your friend its okay to give advice and
you make the choice.
Things wont be easy if you keep it but
down here they help moms give you a place
to stay, daycare, and help you so you can
make the most of yourself, if you choose
abortion a rela human being wont hold it
against you but like I said the choice is
yours.
As for fatfamilys post just ignore it god
loves us all and god forgives so dont
listen to this woman she abuses her own
religion/religious fanatic
if ever you need an ear send me a pm im
very open minded unlike some ppl
good luck with your choice
jess
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Happiness03
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Jul 2005 Posts: 333
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Posted: 01-29-06 17:08pm
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I am not about to tell you that abortion
is right/wrong, but I am going to tell you
to think twice about doing it. I hope you
would do what you want to do. If you feel
like he will leave you, and you don't
think there is anyway to take care of the
baby by yourself, you might consider
adoption, but just know that, that could
be extremly hard to do as well.
Adoption/abortion are two very important
life decisions. Good luck to you. Have
you talked any more to your bf on this.
Maybe that was just his first reaction.
You may try talking to him again, and
maybe his thoughts have changed. Keep us
updated. You can pm me anytime if you
would like to talk!
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holidaycheer01
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Dec 2005 Posts: 19 Location: Jackson, MI
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Posted: 01-29-06 17:08pm
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Thanks to everyone for responding. I do
know it's 100% my choice if I have an
abortion or not. It's just really hard
right now. I don't want to have an
abortion, but i'm scared to be a single
mom too. I give lots of credit to all
the single moms out there though.
Honestly I almost wish I could have a
miscarriage.. It'd make all this alot
easier. I also understand what fatfamily
said. I do think god is against
abortion, although the bible does say he
forgives us. My boyfriend isn't that big
of an ass. He's been really great about
the whole thing as far as supporting me,
but not our baby. He's scared and
doesn't feel ready yet. I understand
where he's coming from, I just wish he'd
see my side too ya know? I have until
feb 14th to decide whether I want the
abortion or if i'm going to keep it.
I'll let you guys know. Thanks again for
taking time to post.
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Mommi2Bee
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2005 Posts: 123 Location: Arizona, USA
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Posted: 01-29-06 17:43pm
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Holiday I had an abortion a year ago and
though it didn't hit me at first a couple
months down the road I couldn't keep my
mind off it. I still think about it
everyday and wonder about my son/daughter
that I didn't have. Sometimes I wish I
would have thought twice about it, but
sometimes I think maybe it was for the
right reasons because then I really wasn't
ready for a baby and I just couldn't do
adoption, knowing that I have a kid out
there alive with some other family raising
it would probably be just as hard on me.
I know now though if I would have thought
twice about it or knew how I would feel a
year from then I wouldn't have done it.
It was really hard for me and everytime
someone brings it up I just start crying..
God forgave me though and gave me a son
due on may 22nd. I couldn't be more
happy. Well I wish you the best in
whatever you decide to do. Just remember
it is your decision and your the one that
will have to live with it.
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
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Posted: 01-29-06 18:50pm
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Like so me of the others said don't get an
abortion for someone else. Those are the
abortions people regret getting.
Everyone I kknow who had an abortion
because they made the decision are ok with
their abortion but everyone who got it
cause of bf/parents regret it to this day.
Pleas ethink this over carefully. This
guy may not even be around this time next
yr, but your child will be.
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QueenBee2_3
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jan 2006 Posts: 194 Location: CT U.S.
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Posted: 01-30-06 14:46pm
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| holidaycheer01
wrote: | | well he's been really sweet
to me telling me he just isnt ready and
that he wants us to wait a few years, get
married and then try again. But he
doesn't want anything to do with a baby
right now. He just feels we arent ready
I guess.... Its so messed up
:( |
no matter his reasoning, if you don't want
a termination for nonmedical reasons
there's no legal way he can force you to
do so. His reasons don't matter and
legally he has no say in the matter. If
you don't want to terminate then don't.
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mum2bubba
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Oct 2005 Posts: 256 Location: Australia
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 01-30-06 22:40pm
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| lsipes
wrote: | i agree wholeheartedly.
Do not let him force you into anything.
You're going to be the one that has to
live with it for the rest of your life!!!
He has no right to tell you that you
*should* have an abortion. And to be
honest, if I had a boyfriend like that i'd
dump his ass anyway.
Looking at all of your options is the best
route to take but do not let him pressure
you into any decision that you will
regret. Why does he get mad? What
are his reasons for wanting you to
abort? |
same, if my fiance told me that I should
get an abortion he would be out in the dog
house.
Do what you think is right if your bf
leaves you and wants nothing to do with
the baby he wasn't worth your time in the
first place. Hopefully you have family
and friends who are supporive of you in
whatever decesion you make, best of luck.
:)
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DaliciaLynn
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jul 2005 Posts: 2322 Location: Missouri
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Posted: 01-30-06 23:53pm
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Fatfamily, can you make one doing it post
without the word god in it?
Your freakin' obsessed.
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michelle1981
Supporter
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 7236 Location: Toronto, Canada
Thanks: 7
Thanked:6
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Posted: 01-31-06 00:25am
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Please make this decision for you and your
baby. Not for anyone else......
Including god! You have to live with
it..... Nobody else will.
Best of luck!
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fatfamily02
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 3050 Location: Georgia, USA
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Posted: 01-31-06 02:22am
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| dalicialynn
wrote: | fatfamily, can you make one
doing it post without the word god in
it?
Your freakin'
obsessed. |
can you
make .One post without .Hate in it,
what is your problem with me??
You are the one .O.B.S.E.S.S.E.D with
trying to make every one as miserable as
you!!! Sorry it wont work here. .God
bless you, in .Jesus name
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