My Girlfriend Is Bulemic... What Can I Do to Help?! Posted: 01-27-06 22:36pm
She's been bulemic for about 2 years now I
guess. I just met her in june 05 and
we've fallen in love quite quickly. She
has been trying to be open with me about
her problem and i'm encouraging her to do
so. She doesn't always like to because
she doesn't want me worrying about her,
but I think that we're both better off if
she talks to me about it.
I've read a lot of posts on here and she's
definitely experiencing a lot of the same
things that many others are. We've talked
about going to counseling... She's
actually already been to 2 different
therapists, but neither one seemed to be
very good at what they did. She said one
of them fell asleep during a session.
Crazy right?
I guess what i'm asking here is... What
can I do?! I cannot stand by and watch
her struggle with this herself. She's
absolutely adorable and this
disease/disorder just doesn't fit anything
else about her. She's said before that
she thinks it may have something to do
with her mother, but she's just not
sure.
I could go on forever. I care so much for
her and have to find some way to help. If
it's just pointing her in the right
direction. Whatever works. For now I
just tell her that she'll figure it out
one day and that i'm confident she will.
I encourage her to always talk to me about
it... Any time she purges, just tell me.
I don't get frustrated with her or upset.
I just want to know what she's going
through. I don't know what else to do. I
spoke with her today about the possibility
of us going to therapy together, but she
wasn't real comfortable with that, but
said she'd think about it and let me
know.
Somebody's got to have some kind of
advice.
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inezrina
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Oct 2005 Posts: 174
Posted: 01-28-06 17:02pm
Hey I think it is great you want to help
your girlfriend. I think the best u can
do is be supportive and be there for her.
The truth is there isn't a lot u can do
she has to decide she wants to get better
on her own and that the time is right for
her to do that.
I am sorry I could write forever on this
but I don't have time. Just remeber u
can't fix her. And u don't want this
eating disorder to take over your
relationship ie. You trying to help her
by talking about it all the time etc.
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7lily
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jan 2006 Posts: 11
Posted: 01-30-06 02:04am
I am bulimic (for a year now), and just
told my boyfriend (father of my youngest
daughter) last week....
I am 25, and I have known him since I was
14, and it was still really hard. But my
health got so bad, that I had to tell him,
because I wanted him to be able to tell
the doctors what was going on if we had to
call an ambulance.
I have had 3 esophogeal spasms since
then....And I am in an immense amount of
pain. I still don't know exactly why, and
could have damaged something....(read more
above..."my story")....
I think that you are wonderful for wanting
to be there for her. She is a lucky girl.
I would like my b/f to get counseling with
me....As I think that he is going to be
blaming some of this on himself, etc. I
don't ever want him to be hurt because of
this....So that is why I think it is a
good idea. However, for insurance
reasons, it is hard for us to go at the
same time.
My b/f is being wonderful right now...Not
only supportive, but almost kind of quiet
about it......Which is sort of what I
need.
He just listens....And knows that I will
do the right thing. But I have caused him
a tremendous amount of worry, and for
that, I am sorry.
Speaking from experience, the best that
you can do is just listen. When she is
ready to get counseling...She will...And
it will not do any good unless she is
ready...You know?
Just listen, and maybe express to her your
worries and your concerns. Maybe tell her
my story...And how much pain I am in right
now....It is not fun.
Good luck.
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broken2004
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Jan 2006 Posts: 7
Hopefull Posted: 02-01-06 14:46pm
I was hopeful for a second when you
started out that you were my boyfriend.
And that he had taken it upon himself to
find out a way to help me. Because his
name is matt and i've been bulimic for
about 2 years, but we met in june 04 not
05... Anyway, sometimes he tries to help
but it isn't usually effetive... Tell her
you think she is beautiful as much as you
think is reasonably possible. When I get
the desire to binge or purge it is because
I don't think I am good enough or
beautiful and that I desearve the
punishment. I want to look like someone
else. I always felt like my dad was
telling me I was fat (which was probably
all in my head) but that process needs to
be reversed. It is her battle as much as
it hurts to watch so just try to be as
supportive as you can. It sounds like you
are being a great help to her. Keep it
up.
-b24
