Hi there all you dear Alexis!
I am also a paranoid schizophrenic. I am a white male who is 24 years old. I also cry most of the time because I am often lonely, sad and depressed. I am in so much pain that I once tried to commit suicide-an attempt that failed. When I was in high school a hardly had any friends and now I have absolutely no friends. I have also never been in a real relationship with someone.
Although I did qualify for University my parents didn’t have the money to send me off to college. I am now living with them and am unemployed-since I can’t work out because I am ill. I am now on disability fund. I am very bored most of the time.
I think I can really help you allot by giving you some spiritual advice. Understand that I am not trying to convert you over to anything. I respect the path you have chosen in life. But please forgive me if it seems as if I am trying to impose my beliefs over yours, because that is not what I am trying to do. I only want to provide you with help that you might need someday. You are free to belief whatever you want. Also please forgive me if my spiritual advice is not allowed on this website. I didn’t know that it might not be allowed. Please feel free if the need be to remove this message
Here is my first piece of advice. I would like to tell you the purpose behind pain:
Our souls are just like flowers. They also need both water and sunshine to grow stronger and bigger. The bigger they grow the more water and sunshine our souls require. Now the sunshine represents all of our happy, peaceful and joyful moments in our lives. And the water represents all of our sad, unhappy, lonely, depressing and painful moments. When we are crying we all of our teardrops are giving our souls their water.
So what I am saying is, judging by all your tears you might have shed, that you must be a very strong and big plant to receive so much water. You must have lived many, many previous lifetimes before and after each reincarnation your soul must have grown. In your next life, dear Alexis, your soul will receive much needed sunshine you are looking for. You will have just the opposite life of what you have now.
The bible also says “I will reward you for your suffering...the depth of your suffering will be compensated, through self knowledge and healing”. There is truth in this statement because there is a Universal law in the Universe called the Law of Rhythm, which says that the more the pendulum swings to the left the more in will swing to the right. Just as surely as daylight follows night so will good experiences follow the bad experiences. Opposites always attract
In order to find the light you have to enter the darkness first. So the darker it gets around you the more brilliant and luminous the light will seem when you have found it. But you can’t find the light without entering the darkness first. There is al law of balance, which says that any negative experience you have will always attract an opposite positive experience. Then there is a law of relativity, which says that nothing is good or bad until you can relate it to something else. It depends with what you compare it with. There will always be someone in a worse situation than what you are in and you therefore are not alone.
Then there is the Law of attraction that basically says that we create our own reality by the thoughts and feelings we have. Just go and watch a movie called “The Secret.” When we accept responsibility and stop blaming, criticizing and judging others our problems will disappear. Then there is the law of Karma, which says whatever kind of energy you sent out in a previous lifetime will return to you in the same format. So if you sent out negative energy it will surely return to you. You also had to choose your parents and the body with a genetic predisposition to schizophrenia. You chose to have this illness so that your souls can grow and you can move much closer to the Source or God.
Progression requires resistance to support it just like fish need the resistance of water to support them swimming and birds need the resistance of the air to support them in flying. The more progression you make the more resistance you will receive. So in other words when you make progress in any area of your life (which could have happened in your previous lifetime) you will receive challenges, obstacles and any thing or anyone that will create a painful emotion in you. Just allow the negative energy to flow through your hart charka and it will be converted into positive energy.
Try to non-resist the energy-forgive those who hurt you by choosing not to criticize, blame or judge them. I do realize that in theory it is simple but in practice is it very difficult. Therefore choose something like meditation to help you relax and get your brainwaves in the correct state of mind. Choose for example relaxing New Age music or a brainwave entrainment product.
I would not recommend suicide as a solution for you problem because there exists a big chance that you might have to reincarnate into another physical body and repeat your current lifetime over again with all of the same tests, challenges (illness) and lessons having to be repeated. This is not punishment but rather a gift of unconditional love since God is giving you another chance to learn your lessons and past your tests.
The last couple of weeks I have cried my hart out because I am lonely. Please, dear Alexis you are welcome to send me a private message. I just want to make a new friend. You don’t have to be a female and you don’t have to be interested in spirituality. But I guarantee you that you will like what I could tell you about how spirituality has helped me cope with this illness called schizophrenia. The reason why I would prefer to talk to a female schizophrenic is because most people that have hurt me verbally and caused me emotional trauma have been men. So I feel less threatened by women and just feel more comfortable talking to them.
Much Love, Light, Peace and Hope to you who are suffering.
