I am schizophrenic and no matter what I do im hurting & crying all the time im in college & everything is extremely difficult.

I have a hard time with my work, life in general & the pain of knowing everyone around me is normal & im not is unbearable (so unfair, & no one understands). I have no friends here; in highschool I hardly had any friends & I have never been in a real relationship (im 23 yrs).

When everyone else always talks about all their friends & their best friends & all their relationships, I always feel so left out, hurt & rejected bcause I don't have any of those things (im 23 years) & always stay silent bcause I cant talk about it (i feel so unbelievably left out). I feel as if god has rejected me; as if I wasn't good enough to have those simple things. And even if if I do get those things, I have to live with the shame of my past.

If it was up to me, iwould have killed myself so many years ago. I wanna die so bad, I feel so alone at this university & in this world & want so much to commit suicide; I would have done it today if I had the courage; cant take anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's the point of living when you're being tortured every single day? Anything to end the pain.

I want to kill myself this very moment; does anyone care or understand?
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