Joined: 26 Jan 2006 Posts: 991 Location: South Carolina
Time to Tell Posted: 01-26-06 15:05pm
Ok, a little background on me... I'm a
24-year-old college grad with a stable
job. I'm not married, but I live with my
boyfriend of almost 5 years. My last
period ended right after thanksgiving.
I've skipped a month before.. Lots of
times, actually, i've never been regular
... So I didn't really stress about it
until earlier this month. I finally took
a pregnancy test last night, and it came
up positive. Another taken today gave the
same result.
My problem is not medical but emotional: I
do not know how to tell my parents. My
boyfriend says to do it over the phone
(they live 3 1/2 hours away) so that
they'll have time to let everything sink
in before they see us. My sister-in-law
says to do it in person with support (her,
my brother, my boyfriend). My boyfriend's
mom says I should do it in person....
Alone. I am pretty much 100% sure I could
never do the latter.
I want to go to a doctor before I say
anything to them.. And my sister-in-law
suggested even waiting until the 2nd
trimester, just in case something happens
and also to give me time to adjust. But I
think I would feel guilty talking to them
on the phone or emailing them and having
this huge secret. I know they'll be
upset, amybe even angry, at first but that
they'll eventually come around and be
happy and accepting. I also know i'll
feeel better and will be able to focus on
my pregnancy after I tell them... It's
just getting myself to do it that's the
problem.
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erogers33
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2006 Posts: 141 Location: Littleton, CO
Posted: 01-26-06 15:15pm
Hey girl, I have a question. What makes
you think/know that your parents would be
upset? Is it the fact that you aren't
married? The reason i'm asking is because
1) you're 24, you're an adult, and 2)
you've been with your boyfriend for 5 yrs
(and you're actually living with him).
I'm 22 and I am living with my fiance. I
know if I found out I was pregnant, I
wouldn't be afraid to tell my mom (i don't
have a relationship with my dad). But I
understand that every situation is
different.
Personally, I like your sister-in-law's
idea. The fact that you would have
support with you would probably make it a
lot easier on everyone. Whereas if you
did it over the phone, it's pretty much
like being alone with them, and you can't
really judge a person's emotions too much
by being on the phone. I think the fact
that you're 24 and have a serious live-in
boyfriend will help. Your parents'
reactions might actually surprise you.
Let me know how it goes!
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Lalee
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jan 2006 Posts: 991 Location: South Carolina
Posted: 01-26-06 15:32pm
Yes, because i'm not married. And also
because i'm the youngest and the only girl
and they have a history of having a hard
time letting go of the "little" girl.
Maybe i'm overreacting. I hope I am. But
I suspect that they won't exactly be happy
about it.
And I like my sister-in-law's suggestion,
too. Thanks.
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tigresacanela24
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Nov 2005 Posts: 5261 Location: Treat your children well, eventually they'll choose your nursing home.
Posted: 01-26-06 15:35pm
I'm 24. I'm married, have been for a
while. I was scared to tell my mum. I
was just so worried that she'd be
disappointed in me. (i know it sounds
ridiculous). She surprised me. She was
not disappointed at all and now she's
counting down the days left until the baby
gets here. She keeps track better than I
do. So, even though it's hard go ahead
and tell her. Take support if you need
it. But if you're close to your parents
at all I think that they'll surprise you
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tigresacanela24
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Nov 2005 Posts: 5261 Location: Treat your children well, eventually they'll choose your nursing home.
Posted: 01-26-06 15:36pm
P.S. I'm the baby too
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diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005 Posts: 3233 Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 82
Thanked:120
Posted: 01-26-06 16:06pm
Tell your parents!!!
My mom was so happy when I told her I was
pregnant with elisa and now with baby # 2
she got upset although she called me a
week after and apologized cause she should
have been more understand.
Your parents should be understand but
like I said my mom went both ways on me
just remeber that your mom will love u no
matter what so if she needs space then
give her space but I would call her and
tell her..
Im the eldest of 6 so I dont know whats it
like to be the baby sorry I cant help you
there!!
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Lalee
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jan 2006 Posts: 991 Location: South Carolina
Posted: 01-26-06 16:47pm
Thanks all.
Of course i'm going to tell them.. I
mean, it would get kind of hard to hide
after, you know, the kid came out. They'd
probably wonder about the little person
living with us.
It would definitely be easier to tell them
over the phone... Because once we hang
up, they can have time to think about it
and I won't have to be there. But i'd
like to tell them in person. I might not
have a choice, though.... If I can't get
up to see them soon, I might just have to
call.
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KrysS
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Dec 2005 Posts: 89 Location: Virginia
Hey Gurl Posted: 01-26-06 16:49pm
Hey gurl. I had the same problem you did,
but there was one difference I was
married. My mother had me as "her only
lil girl" out of all her boys, and it was
fine for them, they all had children, and
I had gotten married and boom gottem
pregnant. My brothers were estatic for me
and agreed teh best way to tell my mother
would be with them beside me, and thats
exactly what I did. My mother was a
little upset, not bad at all actually.
She seen how my family was excited for me
(my brothers and their wives and my
husband) and it helped her threw the
process. After telling her she woudnt
talk to me about it at all.... Till I
made her go to the dr with me one day and
didnt tell her we were going to the Dr.
And when she went back with me they did an
ultar sound..And the moment she seen
it...She hasnt stopped talkin about it
since. It will be hard but your familys
support will defiently show her how happy
of a moment it is. So I wish you well,
and hope the best for you.
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mia7
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Sep 2005 Posts: 378
Posted: 01-26-06 18:47pm
I think maybe you should see a doctor
first before telling them. Well here's my
idea...
I would send them a nice card for
grandparents that lets them know that you
are expecting. Sometimes they do an
ultrasound to make sure you are pregnant.
Maybe you can send them a little picture
of your little one in there so they can
see. It's such a joy to actually see the
little person living inside of you!
This is what I wanted to do when I told my
father, but he lives pretty far away and
the mail usually gets lost.
But I think it will let them know and also
give them time to think about it, unless
you want it to be more personal.
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Eyes Wide Shut
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 7892 Location: *UPTOWN*NEW ORLEANS*, La
Posted: 01-26-06 19:39pm
Yea..Maybe you should send them a card
with a pic of your first ultrasound in it.
I saw that on americas funniest home
videos. I wish I would've had an early
ultrasound to send to the family in a
card..I thought it was soo cute and
everyone had such a positive happy
reaction.
