Hello. I just need to share my story and see what other depressed people think about it/ relate. Ever since I was in kindergarden I was different than the other kids. I was not hyper. I would listen to the nannies and would never disbehave. As I god older I kinda became constantly happy. Signing for no reason because I was happy, prancing around and smilingall the time. As I hit 14 years I lost the spark for life and by 15 I had full blown depression. Now that I think about it my depression had a direct relation to my marks at school. I was also gaining alot of weight and was obese at this time. So at 17 I was considering suicide and would have tried it if I had the means.
Then I changed my lifestyle and introduced exceercise and a good diet and started to lose fat. My friends all noticed this, people gave compliments. I got rid of my depression and all seemed to be going great until december 2005. I started to drop down again and here comes depression again. Now a couple weeks away from my 19th birthday I feel really low. I can't function: do homework or chores that I know I have to do. I consulted philosophy for an answer and came up with existentialism - which I was even before reading about it. It leads to the idea that suicide is not the way to go. It makes perfect sense in my head to be happy and keep living. I am very priveledged compared to most people in this world. So what is the problem? I am most afraid that I will start abusing alcohol as soon as my birthday comes as I already did it once this year.