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Q: Finally Broke Down!
asked by: shyguy215 on January 24th, 2006
New User
Well, I want you all to know that you are the first people to ever know about my dysfunction. Since I was 14 I have been unable to maintain an erection in the presence of a woman. I can masturbat 3-4 times a day just fine. A lil background, i'm athletic, loud, outgoing, handsome, and am a fairly popular person on my campus. I'm 21 and have been lying about having sex all my life. Every girl I have attempted to have sex with has been nice enough not to expose me. I have been attracted to girls all my life, but my sexual dysfunction has me wondering if i'm gay or something? I'm just sick of it, I have been suffering my whole life with this caca and it really ruins my view of self and my outlook on life sometimes. My dysfunction makes me feel like i'm lower than everyone mainly becasue i'm not even allowed to enojy one of the simplest and greatest pleasures in life. I sometimes have probelms with anxiety outside of sexual situations as well and I also had some body image problems awhile ago, but when I was in tip-top shape (230lb diesal) chicks thought I was hot I would get them to my room, and than poof, no ercetion at all! If anyone has any strategies or tips or something that would be much appreciated. I'm sick of laying in my bed depressed at night thinking of how I might be alone for the rest of my life.
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Tamadrummer
replied on January 24th, 2006
Active User, very eHealthy
Is there any reason that you have not gone to your family doctor and spoken to him/her about this?

I know it may be weird if this person has been taking care of your medical needs forever but you have to understand that they are professonials and this is a normal part of thier regemine of treatment.

They will be able to prescribe medicines or even better yet, refer you to specialists that can run tests and either give you answers or treatments/repairs or even better yet a combo of the two.

Just because you do not get an erection when the pressure is on does not make you gay, (not that there is anything wrong with it ) (sienfeld reference) it could be totally stress related and then there is the possibility that if you were raised in a christian home, your moral values and expectations may be keeping you from going through with it.

The way we always had it explained to us at youth group was, why go to wendy's for a cheese burger when if you wait to get married and learn it all together you get the entire buffet. (this may not apply but I figured I would throw that in just in case)

another ting is that the performance factor could be a real stressful factor. Between school, bills, if you have to work while in school that is stressful and then having to carry the weight of being socially popular on your shoulders is enough to make anyone have some anxiety issues crop up in one way or another. It is normal and for most of us that did not participate in sports durring school and also were not running around in the highly popular cliques in school to not have these types of stress related issues. We got to drop the school attitudes when graduation happened, you on the other hand and most of the folks that were in your circle of friends are probably all carrying around problems and everyone believes that no one is struggling because it is not cool for the popular guys to have issues. It is fine and speaking with your doc can and probably will fix what you believe is broken.

Good luck and I hope this has helped in some way or another,
brian
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shyguy215
replied on January 24th, 2006
New User
Thanks for the sincerity. I told my physician once and she was stating obvious stuff like, get more sleep,don't drink coffee, don't drink alcohal. I've tried it all. I wasn't drinking or smoking or anything till I was 17 and even than I was having problems with erections. She pissed me off b/c I was trying to tell her my anxiety is serious sometimes especially in intame situations. But she was just like I won't give you viagra or ambien, just take a teaspoon of benadryl sleep easier. She really pissed me off. But anyway, I wasn't brought up highly religious so it's not that. My biggest queston is, will the doctor just dismiss me once I explain I have performance anxiety and not a physical problem. My testosterone est came back normal too which is odd, so they'll never believe me.
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