Out of the men I have slept with(about 10) only one has been able to give me an orgasm,and I actually did it by myself just by riding him. Some people are different and it takes them longer to orgasm than others.And if you know women well enough it seems that it takes 90% of us a while to get one.Her hurting can be several things.If you could have hr clarify how it hurts then it would be easier to tell.Is she a virgin? It may just be that she is tight,or you are big.

Thanks for your reply melissa.

It's even more difficult because my last girlfriend would come 2 or 3 times every time we had sex...

My new missus was a virgin before we got together, but she doesn't feel that much tighter than other women I have slept with. I think i'm pretty much average joe on the willy size front too, so doubt its that either!

We were expecting there to be some pain the first few times we made love, but it is continuing now, and beginning to make me very self conscious (i hate the thought of hurting her, and by association sex is becoming a source of pain).

Do you think it could be to do with the kind of condom we use? She is always very wet, so I don't think we are lacking lube... We have talked about ditching the condoms and going natural (we've both had the tests etc)...

Whaddya think?

Well alex, my only advise to you is that she might be having, and please don' get me wrong, a yeast infection, but no worries, she needs to do is buy monistat. The way it works is that after her menstrual cycle she'll use it every night for 3-7 days, depending on which one she buys. If it fails, then have her go to her ob-gyn for advice. Hope this helps much!

actually alex, theres a really simple explanation. The medical term for it is vaginismus and that sounds terrible and intense but all it is, is the contraction of muscles in the vagina. Similar to they way if someone was to punch you in the stomach or the arm, you would flex to make it hurt less, its a natural reaction. If your girlfriend has experienced pain during sex alot, or was taught that sex was going to be terribly painful the first time and all of that, its just her trying to brace herself for the pain when in fact, the muscle contraction makes it hurt much more. My girlfriend had this problem and it is just a matter of relaxtion and trying to get her to relax her muscles and making sure she is fully lubricrated before sex. Good Luck Man, Hope it helped

actually alex, theres a really simple explanation. The medical term for it is vaginismus and that sounds terrible and intense but all it is, is the contraction of muscles in the vagina. Similar to they way if someone was to punch you in the stomach or the arm, you would flex to make it hurt less, its a natural reaction. If your girlfriend has experienced pain during sex alot, or was taught that sex was going to be terribly painful the first time and all of that, its just her trying to brace herself for the pain when in fact, the muscle contraction makes it hurt much more. My girlfriend had this problem and it is just a matter of relaxtion and trying to get her to relax her muscles and making sure she is fully lubricrated before sex. Good Luck Man, Hope it helped

Hey woodsinho
There are a lot of reasons a newly sexually active woman may be feeling pain or having difficulty reaching orgasm during sex. The primary reason is that two months ago she was a virgin. Sex for women is much less an issue of instinct and very much a skill. She has to learn to allow her body to accept penetration comfortably and learn how to orgasm with a partner. The fact that is is orgasmic at all two months into her sex life is a remarkable compliment to your abilities as a lover as well as her trust and comfort with you. If you'd like sex to be more comfortable and more pleasurable for her, focus more intensively on warming her body up. Help her open herself to intimate contact with a lot of affection and closeness in the hours before sex. Spend all the time that she will tolerate touching and kissing, allow her to set the pace for sex no matter how much patience it takes.

I don't know if this will help in your situation, but I'd suggest the same approach as Wolf. Lots, and lots and lots and lots of foreplay. Sexy kissing and touching, whatever turns her on, then back off. Perhaps most of the day like this. Go for lunch, then more forplay. Maybe kissing in the movie theater, then more forplay later. I mean, pretty much tease her most of the day.

And if you can have the discipline, once you are having intercourse, try stopping well before she begins to become tense or apprehensive. Go back to forplay... whatever it is that gets her most turned on. And try a short time of intercourse, but stop while she is actually feeling pleasure. Let her relax and feel safe, and back to the forplay.

I agree with the previous post that mentioned letting her always feel in control (at least until she decides she might like to give up a little control, but that might be a ways down the road). In my opinion, if you try to have sex, and it always progresses to the point of pain, you are both essentially practicing that scenerio. Her body will anticipate the pain, and it will happen more and more quickly.

I know this sounds really terrible, but if you think you can, finish with your own hand (or if she's willing to do oral) rather than let her metally get to that 'bad experience'. She might need to reherse or practice 'good sex' or at least 'sex that doesn't hurt' a few times (many times?) before she can get more relaxed.

So maybe try a long day of teasing, followed by alternating thrusting with foreplay. It might even work to alternate thrusting with just keepig yourself still inside her for a few seconds and kissing until she asks you start again (or starts moving her hips). But I think it's in both your interest to slow down and get her relaxed BEFORE she reaches the point of apprehension/pain/tension/anxiety (anything negative) cause you don't want making love associated with negative stuff, or it will be an even longer road undoing that mental association.

By the way, I was very touched by your sincere question, and your obvious compassion for your girlfriend.