I am concerned about a cousin of mine (by
marriage)and confused. She is thinking
about having an abortion and is suppose to
have one this coming week. She is 5 1/2
months pregnant, 16, and her mom has
convinced her because she is so tiny that
she shouldn't have the baby. I am a 22
year old mom my self and I have been
married for a while. My baby is 3 months
old. I am not sure if I should come in
between them, or between my own family. I
haven't talked to her yet about it, but I
think I could give her a second option, by
adopting her baby. I figured she will get
to watch the baby grow up. I haven't even
told my husband yet. I don't believe in
abortion and I can't sleep at night
knowing that she is going to have an
abortion. What should I do?
|
Carifairy
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Nov 2005 Posts: 2610 Location: Charlotte n.c.
Thanks: 12
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-22-06 12:21pm
If she sees you caring for her baby, one
day she might ask you to give it back.
You do not believe abortion, and that is
ok, but you should not stop someone else
from obtaining an aboriton. It is their
legal right.
|
Cambion
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Nov 2005 Posts: 747
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-22-06 12:44pm
How do you know your husband would want to
care for a new baby along with your
3-month-old?
Even if you are against abortion, you
can't tell someone else to not abort just
because you do not approve of it. It's
your cousin's body and her life, and if
abortion is the path she wants to take,
then all you can do is stand by and watch.
I don't know exactly how tiny she is, but
unless the child is half of her total body
weight, i'm sure she could still give
birth. Her mother probably either doesn't
want a sprog around or she doesn't want
her daughter to have to deal with a
child...Or both. I know they're family,
but please let them live their lives.
What you think is wrong or unfair can be
acceptable to others.
Your cousin is 5 1/2 months along? She's
pushing it kind of close to have an
abortion, isn't she?
|
~*~Jillian~*~
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Feb 2005 Posts: 1759 Location: Tennessee, USA
Re: Abortion / Confused Posted: 01-22-06 16:56pm
lwa017
wrote:
i am concerned about a
cousin of mine (by marriage)and confused.
She is thinking about having an abortion
and is suppose to have one this coming
week. She is 5 1/2 months pregnant, 16,
and her mom has convinced her because she
is so tiny that she shouldn't have the
baby. I am a 22 year old mom my self and
I have been married for a while. My baby
is 3 months old. I am not sure if I
should come in between them, or between my
own family. I haven't talked to her yet
about it, but I think I could give her a
second option, by adopting her baby. I
figured she will get to watch the baby
grow up. I haven't even told my husband
yet. I don't believe in abortion and I
can't sleep at night knowing that she is
going to have an abortion. What should I
do?
i think this is a great idea..But only if
your cousin thinks so to...I dont think
abortion is right either..Whereas most the
post on here are pro-choice people that
totally love the fact of abortion...I
think the best thing for you to do is talk
with your cousin and tell her your
plans...And if she doesnt think its a good
idea then I guess just let her go forth
with the abortion...But your idea seems
like a plan to me...Because one day your
cousin will thank you for being there and
helping her...Although if she doesnt let
you adopt the baby ...One day she will
regret her choice of not having the baby
and letting you give it the life it should
deserve!!
|
Carifairy
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Nov 2005 Posts: 2610 Location: Charlotte n.c.
Thanks: 12
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-22-06 17:27pm
There are clinics in atlanta that do
elective abortions to 24 weeks, and in
orlando they will do an elective to 28
weeks..
|
Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12984
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-22-06 19:26pm
I've talked to my mother about abortion
and adoption etc... She definately
doesn't ever want me to get an abortio (if
I ever got pregnant and didn't want the
baby) but she also says she couldn't stand
to see it be given up for adoption, and
that she'd want to raise it herself. I
know I do not think it is right for my
mother to be raising my hypothetically
unwanted child.
The hard thing is that i've heard of birth
mothers of adopted children coming along
and wanting their child back. Especially
in this case, unless you formally adopt
that child, you are looking for trouble on
down the line. Talk to your cousin about
this first.
|
jenn_smithson
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Nov 2004 Posts: 808 Location: Texas
Posted: 01-22-06 19:43pm
cambion
wrote:
your cousin is 5 1/2 months
along? She's pushing it kind of close to
have an abortion, isn't
she?
I really don't think she
would be able to obtain one regardless of
if she wanted one or not without having to
travel or pay an extraordinary amount.
Being in the second trimester does change
what abortion you can have and who can
perform it.
Your cousin should do what she feels is
right for her, not what's right for her
mother, not what's right for you. If she
does agree with adoption, it might be best
for all concerned if the adoptive parents
were outside of the family. I have seen
this situation before and I have not seen
it end well yet. I, myself, have been
asked to adopt my husband's niece's child
and we refused (we weren't ready to be
parents either). Instead, another aunt
came forward and agreed to take the child.
Even though they agreed on an open
adoption, the niece is never allowed to
come over except for christmas and the
aunt goes to great lengths to make sure
that she doesn't hold or play with the
child for more than usually ten minutes at
a time. The niece now refuses to go to
family functions and has been dealing with
severe depression.
Best of luck to your cousin and may she
truly be able to do what she actually
wants to do.
Peace,
jenn
