I'm 21, and my bf is 26. I'm a junior in college, h'es a graduate of the same school, and this is where we met. We've been dating for more than a year and a half, and we are so incredibly close. We've never argued, never fought... We can always just talk about things long before we even realise they're problems... And we've never had any problems.
He is very quiet, and to me he is very romantic. To others, he's kind of... Monotone, inaudible and apparently slightly creepy. But we're both geeks, and our circle of friends understands each other.
He is trying to get a job in what he majored in during college, computer science. It's taken him more than a year, and my parents aren't thrilled. They don't like a lot of things about him: he's bisexual, he cross-dresses (so do i), he pretty gothic, he has long hair, he's buddhist, and biggest for them: he's 26 and unemployed. They seriously disaprove of him, and it's 80% the job situation. He has had a few promising interviews in the last few weeks though so things are finally looking up :)
over this last summer, I weasled my way into renting an apartment at my college with three other male friends. My parents weren't exactly thrilled about that, especially since my bf would be at least temporarily living there as he tried to get jobs close to me. He lived with me, in a tiny room at this house, for 5 months, and it was bliss for us. But his jobs really sucked; he worked part time at the dining halls on campus and part time at a laundromat in town. Sometimes he'd go 6 hours at one job and then run downtown with no car in order to work at the other job for 4 hours. But this means nothing to my parents for some reason. He did this for 5 months just to be close to me! He helped pay a little of the rent, cable bills, electric bills, etc.
He returned home for the winter, but he visits about once or twice a month; and we've already dealt with long-distance relationship isues once before, so we know we can stay strong through it.
My mother keeps asking me if i've ever considered breaking up with him to search the "ocean", and if I don't find anyone better, and if me and him were meant to be, then he'll stll be there. That sounds painful for both of us and very very stupid. I am so happy with my relationship; why in hell would I jepordise a good thing? It's because he is only my second serious boyfriend ever. He is also the first person i've ever had sex with.
For both of us, this is our longest relationship ever; it is unknown territory for us both.
Have I thought about mariage? Yes, a little. I would say yes, if he asked me. I fear this only because of what my family would say. But I have a sense that he won't ask me until he's settled and has a good job. He's hinted (yeah, the guy hinting, not the girl!) at things on and off. We've even had conversations about mariages in general, and neither of us were freaked out or uncomfortable about it. He's said things like: "hopefully i'll be settled by the time you graduate" and "i wouldn't want a christian wedding." (no big deal for me, i'm not chritian anymore). He just recently told me about a dream he had in which I was marrying someone else and he tried to stop it. I said that if I was marrying the wrong person in real life, i'd want him to stop me. He said he'd do so, unless he got me first!
I love him very much. My parent's opinions are so very important to me though, and for a few months this fall I was almost depressed, because I knew I was so happy with him, yet my parents were "losing sleep worrying" about me. It hurt me a lot to hear them say that. But, I have finally come to peace within myself, knowing that I will do what makes me happy, and they can't do anything about it; it's not hurting anyone at all. If they want to stress about it, that is their own problem, not mine. I say this, but it's a hard philosphy to keep sometimes ;)
my parents and I have had several arguments about my bf when I was home over breaks. For winter break, I told my mom in the car that if she wanted a pleasant vacation with me, then she would have to refrain from trying to convince me to leave him. It worked, and this was the best break i've had in almost a year. I'd been dreading and getting sick to my stomach when ever I had to go home; but now that's finally reconciled.
My bf is the kindest, quietest, funniest person I know. He's brilliant, a philosopher, amazing web desinger, and I love him deeply. My family's disapproval hurts deeply, but I have to remember that I am doing something that is healthy for me, healthy for my bf, and my parents will just have to get over it.
