Geneva,

my name is tracy, and just a week or so ago I was diagnosed bipolar 1. I know from my own experiences that there have been times I don't want to be around anyone and just want to be left alone. Even though I know I can't because I have a 2 year old son. This makes me feel even worse at times because I don't want to do any mental damage to him by being distant at times or not playing toys or games with him enough. I want him to have the best childhood, unlike my own. Does you boyfriend overcompensate after one of this moods? I know I can go overboard for my son, because I feel like I am short changing him some how. I hope this med lamictal helps me deal with my situation. Is your boyfriend on any meds for this? Does he see a pysch or a counselor? Does he apologize for not wanting you around on his bad days and still wants you around? Maybe you could go to counseling together? Hope I can help in some way. Best wishes.

Yes, yes, yes..... When he is out of feeling down he is very attentive: cooks dinner for me, plans activites to do.. Same things a wonderful boyfriend would do. I guess its hard for me to judge his moods and not feel hurt when he pushes me away.. Its like a emotional rollercoaster. He is on medication, although he has sometimes been inconsistant( he says he forgets not because he does not want to take them) and he sees a therapist, although not as much as I thinks he needs to.
Its all very new to him and he is having a hard time realizing he has a mental illness and what that means for his future. He has lots of pride and does not want anyone to feel sorry for him or baby him. I think that sometimes I come off doing that to him. I just have a hard time knowing how I should act.

If he is having frequent down times maybe his medication(s) need to be re-evaluated. I know how you must feel, not because of myself being bipolar 1, but because my father was a mess, I am positive he was bipolar and would never do anything about it because he thought he could handle it himself. When you try to deal with it yourself it seems to only make it worse. Let your boyfriend know he isn't alone and there is no reason he should feel like less of a man. Talking to a professional and seeking the right treatment just shows that he is willing to take the steps to being happy and being the best person he can be. At least with a professional you can tell him/her anything and everything that you feel and not have to worry about them thinking anything different about you. They understand some people need help otherwise they wouldn't be doing what they are doing. I am sure there has to be some kind of support group around where you are not only for him but for you too( this will help you help him and possible give you better peace of mind). I am trying to build my own support group of friends, family, etc. I am not sure if there are any support groups in my area, still looking though. I think my pysch is a good one and I know I can see him when I need to. He also recommended this book "a unquiet mind". I haven't got it yet. I hope you realize it takes alot of care and personal strength to be with someone with bipolar. I plan on going to groups for myself, maybe my husband will do some research on his and and have a good support team.
I think we should do some counseling together as well. If you need anything else feel free to write. It helps to have a good support system.

I have seen a difference in his mood when he is in the medication, which is good. He has alot of pride and I worry that he will think he is better and get off the medication and stop therapy. He has already cut down his visits to the therapist. I don't know if it was his idea or theirs. I just hope that he will realize that its not a quick fix and that its a constant process and growth. I want to support him through everything yet I don't want to nag or force him. This is the struggle o go through, trying to find a balance.
I hate to treat him like a child but I worry about him constantly- he is gong to vegas this weekend with his band and I am worried about him drinking too much and getting off his medication. His mood is so good right now, how do I know he is not in a manic state?

Thanks for your support, kim

Kim, I know for myself when I get manic I feel like I have all this energy, I usually get things done that don't get done when I am down. I also sleep less and feel like I have to talk about everything. My psych said these are some common signs of mania. I think that is what makes it hard is when I am manic, i'm so happy and full of energy then the down comes and I get lazy and start getting down on myself. When I get manic I am happy. I know some people can get totally angry and out of control. I am on day 7 of lamictal and I feel a little different. The last day or two I feel a little agitated. (that could be due to the fact my son is hitting his terrible 2's) hahahah. This forum has been helping I think. At least I know I am really not alone. I hope your boyfriend does better with his meds, even though he may feel better he should still take them because thats what making him feel better. Hopefully he realizes how crappy things get when he is off of his meds and how much better he feels when he is on them.

I hope too that he will realize that even when he is feeling good he still need to continue his medication.
For someone who is newly diagnosed you seem to be in tune with what you need to help yourself. Thats wonderful that you are seeking support so openly. Good luck to you and thank you for all your support.

Meh. My father was bipolar and every month he'd go into some psychotic fit, breaking things and coming very close to hitting people. When I was little my mother pretty much hadta hide me in the closet to keep me safe. Once, durring one of his fits he slamed my mother's car with his truck (while I was in it, tho he didn't know I was). He'd always break stuff, never hit anyone, though a month after I graduated he and mom got in a spat...

Living with him was a competition, he'd get pissed and put holes in the wall, I did it right after him, as a "see how great a role model you make?" and even though we had our fun times in the garage working on cars, I hardly joined him because anytime he'd make a mistake he'd break something on the car he was working on. If he was painting a car for someone and messed up, he'd trash the whole car.

Dad also stalked mom, thinking she was cheating on him when se wasn't, recording phone calls with a jerry-rigged system in his garage, and freaking out over credit card purchases he said were for boyfriends that didn't exist. I didn't wanna be there. So I hopped my bike and rode down to my uncles to stay, after 3 hours he takes me back home and mom stumbles out the door and off the porch with bruises on her head, dad hit her with the phone.

A lengthy court drama ensued, he filed for divorce, then changed his mind 3 months later, pulling the "i'm sorry, please forgive me" sob-story like always. I hated my father more than anyone on the planet, my worst fear was to end up like him. Sadly, once I turned 24 I started exhibiting some of his behaviors, paranoia, distrust, anger and an overwhelming desire to break things for no other reason than being pissed off.

I also have had the pleasure of living with two other bipolar people and I have found that when I am around these people, my own desires to destroy things go into remission, and I just want to curl into a ball. Or in the few cases I get the balls, to I copy them and have a "break things and look stupid" contest. I try very hard to fight that urge to just bash the crap outta whatever's around me, cuz ya always wish ya hadn't after.

Some helpful suggestions about bipolar on the following website, it maybe useful to you both.

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