I Want to End My Five Year Relationship ...stresses Out Posted: 01-11-06 15:02pm
I have been in a relationship with my
first love for five years. This
relationship is starting to cause me a lot
of stress and anxiety. I'm confused I cry
all the time for no reason. Let me start
to say I have two children from a previous
marriage. I love my boyfriend but there
are somethings that I cannot deal with.
Last year we starting renting this home he
never have his half of anything. I feel
that if we both are working no matter who
make the most money both parties need to
hold there weight around the house as far
a financial or chores. I do everything I
have given so much i'm starting become
very withdrawn. He sit his lazy behind in
the basment playing video game from the
time he get home from work until the time
he lay his head down to sleep at night. I
pay all the bills, buy all the groveries
and pay most of the $965 dollars in rent
minus maybe $200. Its not fair, did I
mention I have two children that I no
longer get any child support for because
my ex- husband lost his job a year ago and
have not made a effort to find another
one. I tired of being tired. I'm ready
to throw in the towel. I will rather
struggle by myself with my kids then to
add someone grown to the equation that is
not paying their fair share. Lately I
have been crying just all the time not
being able to stop. I'm tired of being
sad all the time. I have been depressed
before but I told myself no one or nothing
will get me in that situation ever again.
Often when its timke for me to go to be I
just lay there wondering is my life ever
going to get any better? I often think
back all the b.S. He has put me through
trying to make it look like I was the bad
guy and all along it was him.
One he lost his job and did not find
another on for a whole two years. I feel
as if this is my time to be happy and I
can't wait around on someone whom is not
willing to change for the better. He
claims he loved me but if he did he will
get his lazy behind up and find a part
time job to help around the houshold a
little better. He also have a daugther
that come and visit everyweek end eating
everything in her path and I often get
angry because I know that my kids are
there everyday and i'm the only one buying
the groceries. I'm I being selfish? I
have given so much to people all of my
life I feel aas if it is time for someone
to give back besides myself for a
change.
I've had all this stuff bottled up inside
me for so long its nice to get the load
off my chest. If only I can get the
nerves to tell the person i'm living
with.
Can anyone help!
Sad and blue :(
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Justy24
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Dec 2005 Posts: 59 Location: Canada
Sad And Blue Posted: 01-11-06 18:42pm
I can understand where you are coming from
even though I am not in the situation
myself. Well I sorta am.
First can I ask you a question? Do you
love him? Now can you think about this
question... Does he love you? I do not
want to tell you what to do, I think you
know what you should do.
You sound like you are a strong and
intelligent woman. You know you have two
children to think of and we cannot forget
yourself. No, it is not selfish to think
of yourself. If you do not you can risk
losing yourself.
I agree that you should talk it over with
your boyfriend, if he doesn't understand
and gets all upset, it will blow over.
You cannot let yourself get stressed out
and anxious because it is hard on you,
hard on your children because eventually
they will see it, and we do not want you
to become depressed.
When people live together they should try
to share responsibilities in maintaining a
household. Sometimes it is difficult, if
he cannot make money then he can take care
of the house while you are working so it
will lighten the load on you. That is
how my husband and I do it. I am just
casual at the hospital I work at. Sure
my hourly wage is great but I do not get
many hours. So, my husband works hard
and I make sure that the house is clean
and there is always a cooked meal on the
table for him when he comes home. When I
get a lot of hours he will wash the dishes
for me... It helps me out a little. See
where I am going?
I hope this helps a little.
Take care, let me know how it goes.
Justy24
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pinksalter
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2005 Posts: 124
Sort of the Same Posted: 01-12-06 18:21pm
Hi
i have just ended a 2 year relationship
due to stress and anxiety. My situation
is not exactly the same however my
boyfriend did nothing to help or support
me through my troubles.
Your boyfriend really should be helping in
some way and its unfair to expect you to
pay for everything. It took me a long
time to get the courage to take the action
I needed, deep down in your heart you know
what is right for you. You deserve so
much more, never settle for second best.
My boyfriend although sweet and kind
didn`t support me and try to uinderstand
how I was feeling. I know this is
extremely hard for him also as its hard
coping with someone who has been fit and
healthy who now takes panic attacks when
they go out. I needed more though than
what I was getting, I need that support
and I need encouragement not remarks about
how i`m not "normal" anymore. No guy will
ever do that to me.
This was only yesterday we broke up and
i`m not sad and I haven`t cried I just
feel now all my attention can be focused
on myself, the way it needs to be until I
get everything sorted. If we get back
together then its meant to be, if not then
something else is meant for me.
