I'm going to try to tell you guys in detail how i'm feeling, i'm very scared.

About two days ago I have had this...I don't know exactly how to say this...Heavy weight on me...An extremely negative feeling. The negative feeling is sort of like...Fear. I'm sorry if i'm not making any sense...But this is how I feel.

I'm 17 years old, i'm homeschooled and in my senior year. Both my parents work full time and that leaves me home by myself all day to do my schoolwork, etc. I've been doing pretty good with being by myself for the two and a half months now that my parents have both been working full time...But all of a sudden about two or three days ago I have had a fear of being alone...An extreme fear. And I feel very dizzy and I cry several times a day because i'm so scared. I've been telling myself that maybe i'm going crazy or something because this feeling is so overwhelming I don't feel like I have any control over myself. It's become so bad that I pretty much convinced myself that I might have schizophrenia.

I've had a lot of stress in my life these past few months. My brother, who i'm very close to was deployed to iraq. My boyfriend broke up with me before he was deployed to iraq. I'm getting ready for college and still don't know what my future plans for a career are. I've been very stressed out these past few months...But all of a sudden, the stress sort of stopped and this feeling of being afraid took over.

I don't see any visions or hear voices or anything...Although I know that's what schizophrenics experience and i'm sort looking out for things now that I think i'm schizophrenic. Maybe i'm just a hypochondriac? I don't know...All I know is i'm very afraid and i'm afraid to be by myself.

Last year around this time actually, something sort of similar happened to me. I was down in north carolina at a military base and all of a sudden I got really dizzy and I fealt like I was in a dream and I could control what I said or did...But I fealt like I couldn't. The feeling let up when I left north carolina to come back home and never happened again. Now though, the feeling I have feels similar. I'm dizzy, I sort of feel like i'm in a dream...But not as bad as last year...But I have this feeling of fear that's so bad.

I think the feeling I have started two or three days ago after I wrote a diary entry in my journal about how stressed I am and how I feel depressed...After that, i've had a feeling of being afraid.

Sorry if i'm going on and on about..But i'm very scared and I don't know what to do. Schizophrenia doesn't run in my family, but nervous breakdowns are pretty common among my relatives. Could anyone help me...Maybe tell me what might be going on with me?