Teen Pregnancy Forum - My Psychotic Sister. Part Ll

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Q: My Psychotic Sister. Part Ll

asked by: DaliciaLynn on January 9th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

I wrote a post on here a while back about how I don't get along with my sister, for many many reasons. Well I was health forum about how I didn't want her to come to my baby shower because I don't feel she's welcome anywhere around me. She ended up not coming, thank god....

Now, I think i'm going crazy again....

My sister is almost 20. She lives with her boyfriend's parents, I have been staying at my mom's home, even though I have a place of my own. My parents just went through a divorce and there has been a lot of issues i've helped my mom with.

Every time my sister & her boyfriend fight, she comes over to my mom's house with her daughter, my sister cant be with her daughter for more than a week without my mom watching her, so my sister stayed at my mom's for almost 2 days, (her bf and her wasn't even fighting anymore) and yet she still stayed.

She knows I hate her, she knows I wouldn't care if she overdosed on meth. Yep, she's a drug head aswell..

We ended up getting into a fight, yelling back and fourth because I asked her when she was going home. She started cussing me out, and told me I should give my baby up for adoption. I laughed and said why? Unlike you, I wont be going to jail for 5 or more years. I have a job and can support myself, I don't need a man to lean on. At least i'll be there to watch my child grow up, who will be stuck with your baby? Mom will. My sister and her bf rob peoples houses, etc, which she still does even though she knows she has warrants.

I got so fed up because she wouldnt leave, & because she kept smoking ciggs in the house & her meth. I called the cops and gave them our address.

Lol, wish I could tell you guys how fast she ran.

I sound like such a health forum....Even though she didn't go to jail she still left back to her guy's house with her daughter. I'm due next month, I do not need this extra stress. I cant handle her 2 year old daughter living with us basically, when I have a newborn not to mention how my sister is like another kid. My mom is begging me to move back home, because i'm the one who can be straight forward with my sister. I don't want this crap around my son, and i'm so freakin scared it will be. Even though my mom thinks it's wrong that I wont let her hold him. I told her she should be glad my sister even gets to see a photo.

I don't need people like that in my life, and neither does my child. She is the type of person who just gets you in trouble. So again, tell me i'm doing the right thing so I don't feel like a complete edit
wouldn't you all do the same thing, or would you do something different?

Replies(36)

~*~Jillian~*~

replied on January 9th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

I am totally with you on that ...I wouldnt let someone that is on drugs be any where around my son...They could have picked up hiv ...And I dont want to risk my son getting it ....So I think your decision is a very good one...I wouldnt worry about what other people think anyways...Because its your son and if you think its wrong ...Then so be it!.. :wink:

DaliciaLynn

replied on January 9th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

I'm glad you agree with me, but you dont have to do drugs by a needle & its not like you can spread it by just being around them.

Thats not the only reason why I dont want her around him either.

She steals (from me)
shes crazy
she lies, couldnt be honest if her life depended on it.
Shes a junkie
by seeing how her daughter is raised, and the things she does & sees, theres no way in hell i'd let her be around my son. I'd like to keep him innocent know what I mean?

My mom is a social worker, which is why I dont understand why she don't call dfs on her, but I can understand it being her own child & all, plus we'd end up with her daughter which I can't deal with right now. I can't deal with the jealousy that will come between them, she spits, says "medical question you" bites etc. Sometimes she is really sweet, but when she's not i'd have to leave which is most of the time.

Get what i'm saying?

~*~Jillian~*~

replied on January 9th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

..I feel so sorry for her daughter she deserves better than that...I dont think you or your mom(not saying you do) need to be mean to her daughter....Because she cant help it that her mom raised her that way...Maybe it would be a good thing if she got taken away from her...But yeah I do agree I wouldnt let your sister around you child ...She just doesnt seem mature and smart enough to be around small children...

chrissy721

replied on January 9th, 2006

Active User, very eHealthy

Hun, you are the mom and it sounds like you know what your doing to me. Your sister sounds a little more than dangerous and if I even thought for a second that she might hurt your baby, physically or emotionally, I wouldn't let my baby around her either. Maybe in the future if she changed the way she lives and it was noticeable then maybe, but not until you can trust her. Your instincts as a mother that tell you that this is dangerous should be enough. There's probably a lot you know about your sister that your mother doesn't too. It's hard tellin how someone who is on drugs will react at any given moment. Trust me I know what it's like to deal with ppl on drugs, that steal, and all that other stuff. I think you are right, and until you see your son being safe around her, keep him away. You wouldn't want him seeing that, later in life and think those things are okay for him to do too. You are on the right track.

DaliciaLynn

replied on January 9th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

Were not mean to her daughter at all, we actually have her a lot and she cries when my mom has to take her back home. I'm saying myself I cant handle a 2 year old & a newborn, i'm not sure my moms point of view on this.

Chrissy - thank you for your advice, but to be honest I think my sister is never going to change. She is the first in our family to even do something this stupid (writing bad checks and stealing checks from other people & using them) no one in our family has ever been to jail, so this is a big change for all of us.

My sister was sent away when she was around 15 or 16 for pills & volumes, speed etc. They diagnosed her with having bi polar, which I think is most of the issue of the way she is acting. She doesnt take medication for it, and she also had an abortion at 16, which she got depressed over for a very long time. (the guy hit her)

my sister also tries to talk black (she has dated tons of black guys & my niece is mixed) i'm not racist but talking like something you're not is pretty sad, and gets so annoying. She talks like that the most when she is mad or yelling. It seriously just makes you want to laugh because it's funny but it's something that annoys me as well! Her boyfriend does the same things she does, which doesnt make it better.. She can't say one sentence without cussing at least 4 times. We agreed no smoking in the house, everytime my sister comes over its okay for her to do it she thinks. She smokes every minute, literally. My mom has enough respect to go in the bathroom when it's too cold to go outside. (smoking makes me sick)

i don't think my sister is aware that I don't want her to see my baby, and I don't think she'll ever understand why if she did know, just because she has that many issues that aren't fixed.

~*~Jillian~*~

replied on January 9th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

..Yeah I understand...A newborn and a 2 year old would be hard...I hope that you didnt think I said you guys were mean to her ...Because I seriously didnt mean it in that sorta way...I pray for the little girl and your sister...Along with you and your mom...I know that it also has to put stress on your mom ...Because the way your sister is...I think you guys will make it through ...Maybe you sister wont change...But inside you should love her...Maybe her problem is only fixable through medication...Which she doesnt have....Maybe a miracle will happen and she will change for her and her daughters sake...As for you and your son ...(and mom) I wish you all the best...

~rubmybuddahbelly~

replied on January 9th, 2006

Active User, very eHealthy

Hey I can understand most of what you say.... But honestly instead of just erasing your sister out of your life try to sit with her and help her threw this.... And if it takes turning her in or having her put in a recovery program so be it. Family is everything and it's just me but my mom always told me never turn your back on your family when they are in need because u never know when you will need something from them. Karma is a health forum and your sister will figure that out... You should do what u can to help.

DaliciaLynn

replied on January 9th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

My sister isn't even allowed in my home. She is on her own with this one....

I cannot speak, let alone have a conversation with someone whom is almost 20, is bi polar & is a meth addict. I don't think i've ever seen her sober..

If my son is around her, he'll end up like my niece, which i'd rather die than put him through that.

~rubmybuddahbelly~

replied on January 9th, 2006

Active User, very eHealthy

Hey hey hey... Nothing wrong with being bi-polar lol... Im bi-polar
but thats beyond it... Sweety your son has you I can understand u dont want your son to see her like that and if she is never solber then thats understandable.... But as soon as she gets up in the morning she shouldn't be f***ed up so maybe just maybe try and help... U really dont have to do anything but look at it for your niece she really dosen't deserve that and your sister sounds like she needs alot of help. All u would have to do is call and get her admitted... But I dont want to tell you what to do or even look down on you for your decisions. You seem to be a very strong woman and you will do whats best for you in the end...
Good luck hunny with you.. Your son your niece and your sister :)

chrissy721

replied on January 9th, 2006

Active User, very eHealthy

The bi-polar thing could get better some day...But not with drugs and stealing and all that going on. The girl needs to realize she needs help and admit that she needs it. My cousin (practically bro, cuz he lived with us for a long time) is like that. He's been like that all his life and probably will never change. I would never ever trust him with my kid by his self. Maybe with me right there, but never alone, only because I know what he's capable of doing. You just need to do what you know is best for you and your kid. Your sis may not like it but, maybe that will show her that she's got a problem?

michelle1981

replied on January 9th, 2006

Supporter

Dalicia, I really feel bad for your mom.... She is caught in a tough place.

I think I told you before that my sister is kinda like yours.. My kids don't see their aunt, and that's her loss!

Definitely keep your distance.

DaliciaLynn

replied on January 10th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

You guys make it sound so easy!

Being bi polar isn't bad, unless you dont take your medication for it..

My sister don't sleep for days at a time, and i'm not around her unless she has a fight with her boyfriend or were going to pick up her daughter, I dont know what shes done that night or that day, so it's really hard to actually pick a time to talk to her.

My mom cries, asking what she did wrong to raise her, and I tell her it's not her fault, it's just because of the people she has hung out with all her life. My sister used to sneak out, etc. My mom has sent her away to a group home before, for her drugs like ive said in a previous post & she was on medication etc, she was in there for a year and was doing great, I even came to see her! But right when she got back out, she started doing the same things all over again, due to the people she hangs around.

My sister tells her friends i'm a health forum & that I just hate her because i'm jealous. The last girl she told this too told me about it, and I began to tell her the story of why I don't like her & why I don't get along with her and said who the hell would be jealous of that??

What burns me up the most is that she told me to get an abortion, i'm not the one whos going to jail for years to come, I dont bring drugs out in front of my baby, I will be there to watch my child grow up. When I told her that she started crying like a little baby. It's like uh...You brought it upon yourself, your the one that said it.

Michelle, I swear to god shes never coming around my child. I'll have to be dead first.

chrissy721

replied on January 10th, 2006

Active User, very eHealthy

You go girl. I know bi-polar isn't a piece of cake. I've been their, done that. Half my family is bi-polar on my mom's side. Her dad, brother, etc. You know what you need to do to keep that baby safe, especially since we realllly don't know what you all have been through with her. It will be best to keep your distance, in my opinion. There is nothing you or your mom can do at this point, and it's not your moms fault or yours at that. If she refuses to take the medication and is doing all that other stuff, then there isn't much you can do for her, she's the only one that can make that decision. My grandpa didn't take his meds and we tried to make him, guess where he's at, prison for doing something real stupid. I wouldn't let him set foot on my property without the entire sherriff's office there. He get's out of prison in march and i'm terrified at what's going to happen when he gets out. I'm married now so I hope he can't find me under my new name. :/

DaliciaLynn

replied on January 10th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

Get this crap..

My sister called my mom at work crying like a b*tch and now she is trying to talk my mom into letting her move in.

Told my mom if she did then i'm outta here.

There's no way in hell i'm going to be able to put up with her, which is like another child. Her 2 year old daughter and a newborn. My mom said shes been arguing on the phone with her for 10 minutes saying it wont work out, and then my sister hung up on her.

Even if she comes over i'll leave.

I hate her with passion guys....

michelle1981

replied on January 10th, 2006

Supporter

It's easier said than done, but your mom needs to enforce tough love. I know it's hard because it's not just your sister, it's her innocent daughter as well.

Hun, relax! You don't want to cause strain to you or your baby because of the stress she has put on you.

Definitely follow through with your plans if your mother allows her to come back. As I have been in your situation, I would tell my mom that my life includes certain ppl, and you want nothing to do with your sister until she changes her lifestyle.

kb77

replied on January 11th, 2006

Experienced User

You're Doing the Right Thing!

I feel for you! I know this is a crazy situation. You seem like a very smart woman. I think it is not only your right, but your responsibility as a mother to protect your child from whatever you feel is harmful - so I congratulate you on making the decision to keep him away from her. I also know it has to be hard to have your mom in the middle of this. I agree that if she moves back then you should move out. Girl - avoid the chaos to keep your sanity. You shouldn't have to think about things like people stealing or doing drugs in the comfort of your home. Where you will be raising a child. I also think that someone really needs to help her with her child. She probably has it the worst - and doesn't even realize it. She needs stability, sanity, love, comfort, and a safe place to be. It may be best to take her from her mother somehow. Maybe you and your mom need to get away. I am here if you ever just want to scream! :) I wish you luck with your baby, and sounds to me like you definitely have it all figured out - with a good head on your shoulders. You are doing the right thing.

AlliE_18

replied on January 11th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

Wow thats a bad situation. If I were you i'd call the police tell them where she is so they can arrest her as you said they have warrants out for her. You will feel awful in one way doing that because she's your sister after all, but still I think it would be the right thing to do. Tough love and all that even though you say you hate her right now. So she gets arrested, has to face up to the criminal activity she's been doing, and has to face the consequences of her own actions. Which I guess will be jail for a while or rehab? Or rehab while in jail....I don't really know exactly. So anyway you'll be rid of her while you have your son. Hopefully the rehab or jail or both will sort her out. It's worth a try and she deserves it for what she has done. If it was my mother, then she would want to look after her granddaughter while your sister is "away". Is it possible for your mum to do that? It would be hard for her to bring her up, but it's probably best for the child. She could also apply to adopt her? So when your sister gets back from jail, if she's not changed much which you dont think will happen because you said she'll never change, then if your mum has custody of the child, she cant just take her back and go back to raising her in a bad way. Or your mum could have social services find a couple to adopt her. But at least she wont be with her mother, who sounds like shes doing a lot more harm than good with her.... If you find it too difficult living with your mum and niece, you said you have your own place so you could move in there, you will eventually anyway. After a little time, your mum will be used to it being just her and her grand daughter. Plus you can visit all the time. That's what I think I would do.

Hope she doesn't get pregnant again...

DaliciaLynn

replied on January 11th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

Thank you guys for all the advice, I greatly appreciate it!!

Allie, my mom doesnt want to be the mother of a 2 year old. She has raised 3 kids already, and my sister still acts like a little kid. My mom would end up stuck with her & doesnt have the heart to put her up for adoption, I would rather raise my niece, than be around my sister though.

My sister told me yesterday I should get an abortion, and if I don't do that I need to give my baby up for adoption. I told her I wasnt the one going to jail for years, i'll be there to watch my baby grow up, i'm not the one who has all the drugs around my child, so why should i? I have no good reason to do anything of the things she's mentioned. When she said things about the abortion, I said "why would I do that? To run like a little health forum like you did when you were 15, your the one whom opened your legs, pay the price you pathetic little promiscuous person" so yeah it got pretty violent! Lol.

Anyways, my sister is obviously jealous, I noticed this from the way she was acting yesterday. Anything my sister talked about my name got brought up in it, I finally laughed and said, you're so doing it jealous it's sad. And she said "no your jealous over me, its sad I cant even live with my own mother because of you" and I said, jealous over a felon? Oh yes, thats so much to be jealous over, I want to get hooked on drugs and have warrants out for my arrest just like you!! She doesn't understand that it's not just me, my mom doesnt want her staying either, but doesnt have the heart to say no because that's her daughter. She stayed with my brother tonight (which my mom had to give him money for) but see what I mean, its not just me, the girl is freakin' nuts!!!

My mom told me she didn't want me to leave, she wants me to stay with her & promises it won't be for very long. I told her no, so I left and am staying at my old apartment with my boyfriend. I told her to call me when my sister left.

AlliE_18

replied on January 11th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

Good for you for getting out of there! Your mum should throw her out or call the cops on her, stay away from it...

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