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Q: Guys Suck...i Don't Know What to Do :(
asked by:
Kimmeh
on January 8th, 2006
Active User, very eHealthy
His parents and I don't get along (we never really did) they do drugs and I am not okay with that. I don't do drugs and I was never raised around that, so the fact that 2 adults do it blow my mind. When I first met them they smoked pot...And I thought it was weird and trashy as they are adults (and it is not even a once in a while thing, it's like all day everyday) but I thought oh well I would give him the benefit of the doubt, and when I found he smoked pot, I figured I was maybe being uptight, so I tried it a few times with him...But that was my extent, and then I started working on him to quit because he was like his parents. He would go to work and then come home and get baked for the rest of the night. It was awful. And he kept telling me he wasn't addicted and he could stop whenever he wanted and he routinely went on breaks to "clear out his system" but he never did...Anyways once I found out I was pregnant he said that he would quit (which made me extatic) because he didn't want to be like his parents. But I still kept finding stuff around the house. His parents got pissy because I said the baby wouldn't be allowed to go over to there house (they were more then welcome to come to mine, or we could meet somewhere public such as the zoo or the mall or a resturaunt, etc.) but they insisted that I was cutting them out of the babies life and that they didn't want anything to do with it at all if it couldn't come over to there house (they are heavy smokers) so anyways me and my boyfriend kept trying to work things out and failing and trying and in the end of november we had "been together" a year.
I found more pot on two occasions where he swore up and down that he had quit and so I ended things, then he came grovelling back and me stupidly agreed to try things one more time. So since then he was trying to proove himself to me for everything, and we had long talks and he said he understood why I was so upset about everything he had done and said and in the last couple weeks things were going really good, but I told him that he had to move out (i told him this in november) I didn't want to end things but I needed a bit of space, because living together wasn't working with all the fighting that was going on (i am sooo sick of crying) and it was a mistake for us to move in together after only a couple months of being together (i was 17 when he moved in and he was 20) and that we needed to take a couple steps back and take things slower like they should have been done originally. He wouldn't do it at first and then he agreed but not because he wanted too (and he loved making it known).
So on wednesday or thursday (sorry this is a long post, I just thought I should give some background information, I am now getting to my point haha) we were eating breakfast and talking and he informs me that he doesn't believe in child support and that he has no intentions of giving me money for the baby, however he does want to be involved and come over on his days off. Well he is totally miffed at why I would be angry about this, and it turns into a huge fight. Then on friday night I was in our laundry room and on the floor is a used bounce sheet so I picked it up to throw it into the garbage but it is all used to his pot smoking ways (he takes a couple bounce sheets and a toilet paper roll and blows the smoke into that so it doesn't smell and people don't know that he is doing it. Oh yes and its good to point out that he hasn't talked to me since our fight about the baby and child support- because I was clearly wrong) so I just left it out to show that I knew what he was doing.
He then comes to my mom and tells her that he is moving out next friday (thank goodness, because he had been dragging his heals for moths about doing it). So he is leaving this coming friday and he hasn't talked to me, which is okay, because I have nothing to say to him, I am just to angry. My mom drives him to work in the mornings because he works so early the buses don't really start running to get him there on time, so this morning she talked to him in the car on the way there, and at first he denied saying that he wasn't going to pay childsupport and then he switched his story so he was saying the same stuff he said to me, and she told him that if he didn't pay then he would have to go to court because she didn't want to have to pick up his slack (and she shouldn't have too...I am going to be going to school and working part time) and he fought and stuff and then he basically told her that he should go find a new girlfriend and have a family with her...And for me not to put his name on the birth certificate and if I did he would just deny it...Obviously the baby is his, as I have been with him and no one else (i've never even looked at another guy) in over a year. But still that's like a huge slap in the face. I know he is being immature and retarded. I just don't know what to do. I was expecting that with us getting along and him planning on coming around all the time that he would be contributing something, as I don't want my mom to pay for stuff...She is doing enough (and he agreed that she shouldn't have to) i'm already sick with money worries, as I need stuff and I don't have everything I need for the baby yet, and I am afraid she may come early. And I am not working, and my mom is a single mom who makes good money but she has a morgage and a car payment every month and all the other lovely bills to pay. So we can't afford stuff right now.
I don't know I am just so stressed... What I really think I want is for him to just sign over his custody papers and give me full custody and have him just go away. Then I don't have to worry about his family and him having bad influences on her, and fighting all the time. But my mom doesn't want that because she doesn't want to pick up his slack (and I don't want her to either) so she is going to force him to pay something, even if it means going to court...And I am just so confused as to what to do...Because I am pretty sure knowing him if he didn't pay he'd never be around. If he does have to pay then he will show up, and I wont be able to have much control as to what he does with my daughter (i am so afraid that he is going to smoke up infront of her or his parents will or something, and she'll think that is okay). I just feel really torn, I would be okay just asking him to sign over papers and having him dissapear, and not pay anything because I don't want anything other then that really from him....But I feel like I am betraying my mom or something if I do, do that because she wants him to pay, and we do need his money. Ahhh! Lol I dunno. What do you all think? I just need some advice.
*by the way... Any of you young girls out there reading this who want to get pregnant...Just keep this in mind... I thought my boyfriend would stick through with me no matter what (that is after all what he had been telling me since before I got pregnant, that he loved me and no matter what he would be by my side) but they don't always do what they say. I know that there are winners out there. I have friends from school who at a younger age then me (i was 17 when I got preg, and am now 18) have got decent boyfriends. But not all of them are and you can't be 100% sure who is who. Just wait untill your older...You have a lot of life left to live before you dedicate the rest of your exsistence to a child. I wish I had waited. There are so many things I wanted to do while I was young and now I can't and never will be able to get this time back. So make choices responsibly. Remember that you can get pregnant even if you are using condoms and birthcontrol, and there is no 100% safe way (for real!) then abstinence (no sex).
Kimmie
Last edited by Kimmeh on January 11th, 2006 03:26 PM; edited 1 time in total
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Replies(20)
jewelskye
replied on January 8th, 2006
Experienced User
First things first - hugs and kudos to you! You are obviously extremely strong - good for you, telling him to do his part. You're not his maid, and you're the mother of his baby.
He doesn't seem like a bad guy, per se - he's addicted to drugs, and he's probably confused about becoming a father. I'm guessing he's threatening to deny parenthood because he just came to the realization that he's not ready to be a parent. But that's too bad for him. This baby is his responsibility as much as his, and he is under obligation to pay child support, no matter how "pressured" he's feeling, or how much he "doesn't believe in it".
Be strong. :)
jewel
He doesn't seem like a bad guy, per se - he's addicted to drugs, and he's probably confused about becoming a father. I'm guessing he's threatening to deny parenthood because he just came to the realization that he's not ready to be a parent. But that's too bad for him. This baby is his responsibility as much as his, and he is under obligation to pay child support, no matter how "pressured" he's feeling, or how much he "doesn't believe in it".
Be strong. :)
jewel
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Kimmeh
replied on January 8th, 2006
Active User, very eHealthy
Thanks jewel, I try it's just so stressful. I don't know what the right decision is. I know that he has to pay, but part of me doesn't want anything from him and to have him just go away. I am like 90% sure that not having him in my daughters life is the best thing for her. He isn't really a bad guy. But he is stubborn, and selfish, and makes tons of bad judgement calls, and when he has made a big mess he leaves it to everyone else to fix or deal with and just says "oh well what can you expect this is how I was raised, there is nothing I can do about it" or "i'm a guy...What do you expect this is how guys act" it angers me off. Lol.
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jewelskye
replied on January 8th, 2006
Experienced User
Do the best thing for your daughter. I agree with you - it sounds like he isn't ready to be a responsible parent. But you have to make sure he does his part - he owes you, and your baby, child support.
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chanee
replied on January 9th, 2006
Experienced User
You Are Very Smart
Hi kimmeh your one smart cookie for being strong for daughter and wanting better and your great for telling other women in your shoes or think they want to get preggo to wait i'm glad your on this forum cause people really need to hear that. I understand you not wanting him around your child or his crazy parents for that matter, but maybe you can get him to pay child support but also tell the judge he does pot so they will make him drop or not let him around your baby unsupervised that's good. A lady would pick your daughter and stay with her while he sends time with her until he get his stuff together. Good luck to you and keep you posted.
Chanee
Chanee
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Kimmeh
replied on January 9th, 2006
Active User, very eHealthy
Thanks you guys :) it's great to hear some encouraging words. I have also thought about having supervised visits and was okay with that thought but I am not 100% sure it would happen...I think it's hard to get supervised or cut visitation rights. Who knows what will happen in the future I only have basically 8 more weeks left so I suppose all will provail itself soon.
Thanks again you guys!
Thanks again you guys!
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acoles70
replied on January 9th, 2006
Experienced User
Don't put his name on the birth certificate. He will never change his ways, children learn what they live. He learned that pot was okay because his parents are pot smoking losers. If you allow him to be in your daughter's life you are 100% exposing her to pot. There is no doubt that he will smoke up with her around. One thing you should worry about is that she would grow up thinking pot is okay, another is the potential learning disabilities she could have if he exposes her to pot. You can do it on your own girlie. You have to do what is right for your daughter. He would probably not get supervised visitations, I wouldn't even risk putting him on the birth certificate. That is more power for him. Good luck sweetie!
Ashlee
Ashlee
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not perfect
replied on January 9th, 2006
Experienced User
Wow, you are definitely a strong willed person.
I do however think he should be on the birth certificate and have to pay child support. If he denies that child is his, they will make him take a paternity test, and he'll end up having to pay for the test too. :wink:.
As for worrying about him or his family smoking pot when he has visitation, there are ways around that. You can have the courts make it where he has to pass a drug test before he goes anywhere with your child. I think you can also do something about his parent, especially if he lives with them. If he's living with them again, you can have it set up where it's supervised. Then once he gets his own place, can make it in effect where he has to pass a drug test before leaving with him/her.
It's a hassle with courts, but the safety of your child is more important. It won't be too hard to get supervised visitation.. Just have him and anyone he lives with take a drug test and they'll approve it if any of them fail. If he denies taking a test, he will not be able to see the child until he takes the test, and looks really bad on him.
Good luck and I hope everything goes well for you!
I do however think he should be on the birth certificate and have to pay child support. If he denies that child is his, they will make him take a paternity test, and he'll end up having to pay for the test too. :wink:.
As for worrying about him or his family smoking pot when he has visitation, there are ways around that. You can have the courts make it where he has to pass a drug test before he goes anywhere with your child. I think you can also do something about his parent, especially if he lives with them. If he's living with them again, you can have it set up where it's supervised. Then once he gets his own place, can make it in effect where he has to pass a drug test before leaving with him/her.
It's a hassle with courts, but the safety of your child is more important. It won't be too hard to get supervised visitation.. Just have him and anyone he lives with take a drug test and they'll approve it if any of them fail. If he denies taking a test, he will not be able to see the child until he takes the test, and looks really bad on him.
Good luck and I hope everything goes well for you!
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Kimmeh
replied on January 9th, 2006
Active User, very eHealthy
Thanks you guys. I talked to a lawyer a few months ago when things were rocky and he said there was nothing I could do about the drug thing unless I could prove it, especially with his parents, and that unfortunately I can't do anything untill something happens (which is a load of crock to me, that they expect me to wait until my child dies or is permently damaged in some way before they will do the safest thing for her) so I am not sure what will happen with them...Lol this is why I am so stressed out, because basically it seems like no matter what I try and do, I will just have to wait for them to screw up, and until that happens I just have to step aside and watch them leave with my daughter or something. Ack! I don't want her to ever leave the house. Lol.
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chanee
replied on January 9th, 2006
Experienced User
Hey kimmeh you strong you can do it but the reason I said supervised visits when I was little my mom had drug problems and I could'nt see her without this lady around us.The lady would come pick me up and take to the social services building in my neighborhood and we would have time alone at all and police were everywhere but it's some to think about though ok good luck and keep us posted and damn that was the longest post i've seen yet lol take care hon!!
Chanee
Chanee
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Kimmeh
replied on January 9th, 2006
Active User, very eHealthy
Lol yes!! That's what i've always wanted to be known for...Lol the longest post ever! :wink: hehe. I will for sure keep everyone updated, and I will see if I can work the supervised visits because that would make me happy.
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Kimmeh
replied on January 11th, 2006
Active User, very eHealthy
Update would be that...
Yesterday night he came back apploligizing saying he would pay and that he wants to be involved and he realises that he should "take care of his own" and he didn't mean what he said he was just angry...And all he wants from me is to be fair to him with visitations and how much he has to pay for support (which makes me really angry because once again he is thinking only about himself...He wasn't fair to me once over the last 8 months and really hasn't given me a worthy appoligy for it...He has an excuse and a half for everything) grrrr. But he didn't ask for me back...Which surprised me...I wasn't going to take him back this time...But yeah. Just kinda weird. I am not sure if he is learning or if I should be insulted.
So now we are being pleasent to one another. On friday he is moving in with him mom. I told him that I still wont be bringing the baby over there, and he said that was okay that he'd come over on his days off. So I guess that part is good it isn't a fight. I still don't know I am weary of having him involved but I guess I will have to wait and see.
Later guys!
Yesterday night he came back apploligizing saying he would pay and that he wants to be involved and he realises that he should "take care of his own" and he didn't mean what he said he was just angry...And all he wants from me is to be fair to him with visitations and how much he has to pay for support (which makes me really angry because once again he is thinking only about himself...He wasn't fair to me once over the last 8 months and really hasn't given me a worthy appoligy for it...He has an excuse and a half for everything) grrrr. But he didn't ask for me back...Which surprised me...I wasn't going to take him back this time...But yeah. Just kinda weird. I am not sure if he is learning or if I should be insulted.
So now we are being pleasent to one another. On friday he is moving in with him mom. I told him that I still wont be bringing the baby over there, and he said that was okay that he'd come over on his days off. So I guess that part is good it isn't a fight. I still don't know I am weary of having him involved but I guess I will have to wait and see.
Later guys!
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Kimmeh
replied on January 11th, 2006
Active User, very eHealthy
Update would be that...
Yesterday night he came back apploligizing saying he would pay and that he wants to be involved and he realises that he should "take care of his own" and he didn't mean what he said he was just angry...And all he wants from me is to be fair to him with visitations and how much he has to pay for support (which makes me really angry because once again he is thinking only about himself...He wasn't fair to me once over the last 8 months and really hasn't given me a worthy appoligy for it...He has an excuse and a half for everything) grrrr. But he didn't ask for me back...Which surprised me...I wasn't going to take him back this time...But yeah. Just kinda weird. I am not sure if he is learning or if I should be insulted.
So now we are being pleasent to one another. On friday he is moving in with him mom. I told him that I still wont be bringing the baby over there, and he said that was okay that he'd come over on his days off. So I guess that part is good it isn't a fight. I still don't know I am weary of having him involved but I guess I will have to wait and see.
Later guys!
Yesterday night he came back apploligizing saying he would pay and that he wants to be involved and he realises that he should "take care of his own" and he didn't mean what he said he was just angry...And all he wants from me is to be fair to him with visitations and how much he has to pay for support (which makes me really angry because once again he is thinking only about himself...He wasn't fair to me once over the last 8 months and really hasn't given me a worthy appoligy for it...He has an excuse and a half for everything) grrrr. But he didn't ask for me back...Which surprised me...I wasn't going to take him back this time...But yeah. Just kinda weird. I am not sure if he is learning or if I should be insulted.
So now we are being pleasent to one another. On friday he is moving in with him mom. I told him that I still wont be bringing the baby over there, and he said that was okay that he'd come over on his days off. So I guess that part is good it isn't a fight. I still don't know I am weary of having him involved but I guess I will have to wait and see.
Later guys!
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chanee
replied on January 11th, 2006
Experienced User
Hey kimmeh
i sound like he might be trying a little , but I think the reason he did'nt ask you back is cause guys tend to think they have pride which some do,but he might be waiting on you to ask him back the hard to get type think.It could be possible.But it is guys out there that will love you and your baby well good luck and let us know kk
chanee
i sound like he might be trying a little , but I think the reason he did'nt ask you back is cause guys tend to think they have pride which some do,but he might be waiting on you to ask him back the hard to get type think.It could be possible.But it is guys out there that will love you and your baby well good luck and let us know kk
chanee
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Kimmeh
replied on January 12th, 2006
Active User, very eHealthy
Haha who knows what goes on in his mind. He took me to a movie tonight (by the way fun with dick and jane is really funny!) and he says he is going to try and win me back (that is what he always says and then he pulls bone headed moves) he keeps trying to kiss me and tells me that he loves me...Haha I am playing hard to get. That's fine if he wants to try, but I told him I am not sure he can, and I wont be saying I love you for a very long time, and everytime he tries to kiss me I move my head away...Lol I just don't want to be hurt again. I guess we will see. I had a good time tonight and I really enjoy being around him when he is not being lame and retarded...Which he seems to need to do every few weeks. I don't know. Maybe things will be different this time because he is leaving on friday, and obviously things were not changing or working when he was living here. The worst is, it still wont work.
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yellow ribbon
replied on January 12th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
Hum every few weeks uh? Maybe he took over your periods since u are pregnant. Definately dont take that baby to the smoke house. My inlaws are the same way but they go outside or lock themselves in there basement room if they are gunna smoke. I really cant stand when they come up stairs right afterwards reaking of pot and right away pick up my daughter um contact buzz ne one? But I only go there for like christmas we live in 2 different states. U have to put his name on the birth certificate to recieve child support. Plus I thought the state decided how much he had to pay. And if hes really gunna be a butt then let the state garnish his wages. Haha that way u can always b like its not me its the state and ucan still b nice. When r u due? I say it said u were 31 weeks on thursday was that meaning today? I am 31 weeks as of yesterday so my due date is the 22nd of march j/w cuz we are pretty close only im having a boy this time. Good luck with boy issues
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Kimmeh
replied on January 13th, 2006
Active User, very eHealthy
Thanks for the message. Sorry I said I was 31 weeks yesterday...I ment 32. My due date is march 10th...Very close! Lol. Are you excited about having a boy? I was hoping for a boy...Lol the whole mother daughter thing scares me...Me and my mom were awful! Lol and so are basically all my friends and there moms. Ah! I don't want the teenage years to come. Boys are lovely and sweet (usually)to there mothers...Haha atleast to there faces.
As for my ex...He is not moving out. I guess money stress got to my mom, she had the most random and amazing freak out session I have ever seen in my life, unfortunately it was on me. She woke me up to take the dog out and then I didn't get up I guess fast enough or say anything so she freaked out (aka started yelling at me) and so I decided not to make her angrier by talking cause I would have just been health forum back so I kept my mouth shut and didn't say a word...Which I guess made her mader...So she took the dog out, but called me a not so nice name and told me I needed to move out...It was weird. When she came home from work she told me I could have untill april to move out (after the baby is born) and yeah...I chose not to say anything and being quite hurt from what she said in the morning didn't talk to her for a while and then she slowly got out of her bad mood I guess and started acting like it didn't happen...So I don't know what I am supposed to think. But in her being very angry at me moments this afternoon she asked my ex to stay...So now he is...I don't know what to think. I am very angry. Somehow he thinks we are back together and he is so excited that he is going to be around the baby all the time and "help me out" all I want to do is scream. He found a new job that he is thinking about applying for where it starts at 5:30 pm to 12:30 am...He thinks it will be swell because he will be around all day to help me out...Plus I think he gets weekends off too...Plus he would be making 4 dollars more there to start then his last job...But I just want to scream. I know he means well...But...Well...Quite frankly that is way to much of him, I know we will be fighting all the time. One day of him thinking that we are back together (me talking to him about how I feel obviously doesn't work...Cause I explain how I feel and what I want and he just ignores them) is driving me up the wall he wont stop hugging and kissing me, even though I tell him to go away and leave me alone...Ah!
I feel like I am being forced into this relationship. I know my mom only asked him to stay because she is freaking out about bills...But I still feel like my emotions and feelings mean nothing. I understood that money was going to be tight I just thought me and her grandchild ment more...Not only that but she has a lot to health forum about him aswell. I dunno.
He did however give me a hundred bucks for the baby today (and says he will be giving me more soon...And a lot more then a hundred bucks...So he says...)...And he isn't working right now and he just got payed (so he payed my mom rent and gave me money) and left himself a hundred bucks till he gets more work...And then proceeded to buy pizza and rent movies plus he took me to a movie the day before. I feel like such a jerk sometimes about how I feel...It's just he is soooo hard to get along with...Things go great like this for a while and then he does something completely awful and then gets mad at me like I did something wrong...And I just don't think that I do or can love him the way that he wants me to again. I hate it when he kisses me...But I enjoy spending time with him when things are good. I don't mean to sound like a jerk...I am just so confused. I hate being hurt by this guy, and I am pretty sure there is to much history and past for me to just get over...
Thanks for listening to me rant...Lol
kimmie
As for my ex...He is not moving out. I guess money stress got to my mom, she had the most random and amazing freak out session I have ever seen in my life, unfortunately it was on me. She woke me up to take the dog out and then I didn't get up I guess fast enough or say anything so she freaked out (aka started yelling at me) and so I decided not to make her angrier by talking cause I would have just been health forum back so I kept my mouth shut and didn't say a word...Which I guess made her mader...So she took the dog out, but called me a not so nice name and told me I needed to move out...It was weird. When she came home from work she told me I could have untill april to move out (after the baby is born) and yeah...I chose not to say anything and being quite hurt from what she said in the morning didn't talk to her for a while and then she slowly got out of her bad mood I guess and started acting like it didn't happen...So I don't know what I am supposed to think. But in her being very angry at me moments this afternoon she asked my ex to stay...So now he is...I don't know what to think. I am very angry. Somehow he thinks we are back together and he is so excited that he is going to be around the baby all the time and "help me out" all I want to do is scream. He found a new job that he is thinking about applying for where it starts at 5:30 pm to 12:30 am...He thinks it will be swell because he will be around all day to help me out...Plus I think he gets weekends off too...Plus he would be making 4 dollars more there to start then his last job...But I just want to scream. I know he means well...But...Well...Quite frankly that is way to much of him, I know we will be fighting all the time. One day of him thinking that we are back together (me talking to him about how I feel obviously doesn't work...Cause I explain how I feel and what I want and he just ignores them) is driving me up the wall he wont stop hugging and kissing me, even though I tell him to go away and leave me alone...Ah!
I feel like I am being forced into this relationship. I know my mom only asked him to stay because she is freaking out about bills...But I still feel like my emotions and feelings mean nothing. I understood that money was going to be tight I just thought me and her grandchild ment more...Not only that but she has a lot to health forum about him aswell. I dunno.
He did however give me a hundred bucks for the baby today (and says he will be giving me more soon...And a lot more then a hundred bucks...So he says...)...And he isn't working right now and he just got payed (so he payed my mom rent and gave me money) and left himself a hundred bucks till he gets more work...And then proceeded to buy pizza and rent movies plus he took me to a movie the day before. I feel like such a jerk sometimes about how I feel...It's just he is soooo hard to get along with...Things go great like this for a while and then he does something completely awful and then gets mad at me like I did something wrong...And I just don't think that I do or can love him the way that he wants me to again. I hate it when he kisses me...But I enjoy spending time with him when things are good. I don't mean to sound like a jerk...I am just so confused. I hate being hurt by this guy, and I am pretty sure there is to much history and past for me to just get over...
Thanks for listening to me rant...Lol
kimmie
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yellow ribbon
replied on January 13th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
I guess im excited about a boy I mean it will be different than my girl but I kinda wanted to reuse all her clothes cuz the only other baby I can hand them down to is my sister in law and well shes a gothic and would never put pink on her daughter. As for the mother daughter thing yea when my daughter was like 6 months old I realized she loves me so much now but in 12 years shell be telling me she hates me and shutting me out and that depresses me. But I think ill get over that and just enjoy her for now.
Ne ways. Maybe after you give birth u will like your ex or whatever he is now better. He really sounds like a jerk but it could also be pregnancy hormones perceiving things different. I know its sounds bad but I get mad at my husband all the time cuz he acts like he forgets im pregnant. Ill ask for his help and he'll b like y cant u do it or he'll want my help with something else. Its like hello i'm the pregnant one u can still bend over just fine! But a lot of the time he means well and I just take it the wrong way and flip. I got mad at him last night while watching "there and back" on mtv I know its pathetic but its a cute show cuz his girlfriend is pregnant and he is so sweet to her. It makes me mad that some guys are so sympathetic at times like this and others are just jerks. Sorry now im ranting. Ne ways I hope everything works out for u and no matter how bad it is right now when u see that baby u will forget about everything that it took to get her.
Ne ways. Maybe after you give birth u will like your ex or whatever he is now better. He really sounds like a jerk but it could also be pregnancy hormones perceiving things different. I know its sounds bad but I get mad at my husband all the time cuz he acts like he forgets im pregnant. Ill ask for his help and he'll b like y cant u do it or he'll want my help with something else. Its like hello i'm the pregnant one u can still bend over just fine! But a lot of the time he means well and I just take it the wrong way and flip. I got mad at him last night while watching "there and back" on mtv I know its pathetic but its a cute show cuz his girlfriend is pregnant and he is so sweet to her. It makes me mad that some guys are so sympathetic at times like this and others are just jerks. Sorry now im ranting. Ne ways I hope everything works out for u and no matter how bad it is right now when u see that baby u will forget about everything that it took to get her.
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Kimmeh
replied on January 15th, 2006
Active User, very eHealthy
New update!
Omg my life the last week or whatever has been like drama central! I hate it...Lol it's like a stupid tv program...Not cool, especially not with me being pregnant and all the stress!!
Anyways yesterday after having a huge health forum session to one of my friends about my ex I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and just forgive him for everything maybe he truly loves me like he is always telling me and I am so sick of hateing him...I thought I would just forgive and forget and try to make things work...Man was I wrong...I should have kept my ground! Everytime I choose to do that option I get hurt not long after by him. He went to his moms house to spend the night and hang out with a friend so I had a friend over and after she left (her boyfriend brought me pizza this morning when he came to pick her up. He works at pizza hut and they had a meeting for some new kind of pizza that is being released in the next couple weeks, so he made one and brought it over for us...But mostly for me, cause I keep bugging him about doing it...Haha :cp) this afternoon (a couple hours ago) and so I decided that would do something nice for him...Aka clean his room. All his stuff was still in boxes and bags from when he was supposed to move out on friday, so I thought I would do his laundry and then put it away in the dresser and make his bed and just tidy (he is sooo messy, it's gross) he used to love it when I did that for him before...And he always says I don't do enough for him...So I thought that would be nice. Anyways I was pulling all his darks out of the laundry hamper and sorting them into piles when I pulled out a sock that felt like it had another sock or something inside of it, so I went to take it out and it was pot stuff :c( I was sooo upset...It was retarded I couldn't stop bawling I marched up the stairs and told my mom that he couldn't stay here, lol and then ran down stairs crying so she came down and asked me where the phone was and called him and told him that he has to leave today. That she is sick of this and she told him before that she didn't want drugs in her house, and he has been lying to us and to her for months and he was like "i'm sorry" and then he tried coming up with excuses...For some reason it was wet...I dunno why...So he said went through the laundry before and it was old and that is why it was wet, but no one believes him. First of all the sock was not wet...Just the stuff (there wasn't pot the drug itself with it, but all the stuff he uses...I think what he was doing was taking the sock and stuffing it with bounce and then blowing the smoke through that) but that isn't the only suspicious thing that has been around the house lately. The other day he had a lighter in his pajama pocket...And I asked him why a nd he didn't really have a good reason and just now when I went and cleaned out his room of my stuff there was a pair of sissors with res. On them...I am just so hurt by it...I don't know why...It must be the hormones because it isn't all that surprising, and when I told my mom he couldnt stay and she agreed and called him I was really upset because he wouldn't be staying here, and then when I calmed down a bit I am happyish about it...But I still want to bawl my eyes out. He called back once and tried health forum at me to my mom about how I went looking through his room and invading his privacy...And yeah. That is how he is, he does something wrong and he turns it into everyone elses fault and they did something wrong not him or not as bad as him...I guess it's how he makes himself feel better about the situation.
Anyways thanks everyone for listening to this...I'm not sure how much more of an update I can keep with this now...Haha as he is leaving for sure, my mom was really mad and upset...And not listening to his excuses at all this time so I know he is out for good. I feel really bad though because I know how much she needs his rent money...And I can't contribute anything right now, and she owes a lot of money to several places right away (one of them being a payment or two on my braces) gah! The stress. I wish I could figure something out. But my mind comes blank when I think of how I could bring some money into the house.
Later all! And thanks for listening to me, it makes me feel better to health forum on here, lol.
Kimmie
ps macysmama i'm sure you'll love having a boy! If you don't want to have the girl clothes sitting around anymore in your house you could always sell them or give them away to a young mothers program or a battered womens shelter (a lot of women just leave in the night and take nothing with them) or if you are wanting to give them to someone you know, then you can always just hang onto them...Babies and pregnant ladies are coming out like flies this year...Lol everywhere you turn (or atleast with me) there are like 4 pregnant women and like 30 strollers haha. It's crazy! But i'm sure eventually you will find good use of your old stuff. But I know it must suck having to buy new things, it can get pretty darn expensive!
And thanks for the encouraging words about everything. My ex is a jerk..He isn't really a bad guy (i guess there are worse, I mean he never hit me or anything) but he doesn't think of anyone but himself. He doesn't care that it looks bad on me and my mom if he smokes pot. He doesn't care that it could impare him from seeing his beloved daughter he cares about so much, he likes it there for he feels that he should be able to do it. He doesn't care that he hurts me deeply (and he knows it) when he lies to me and does something I have expressly told him and showed him I don't like and wont tolerate...It wouldn't hurt him not to smoke pot or do drugs, but it hurts me that he does do it. If I did something that hurt him, and made him unhappy (not to mention hurts me) I would deffinately stop, because I care about him (or I did.) but I guess he doesn't understand anything about being with someone and caring really for someone other then himself. I am sooo sick of it, so this is the end. No more.
Omg my life the last week or whatever has been like drama central! I hate it...Lol it's like a stupid tv program...Not cool, especially not with me being pregnant and all the stress!!
Anyways yesterday after having a huge health forum session to one of my friends about my ex I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and just forgive him for everything maybe he truly loves me like he is always telling me and I am so sick of hateing him...I thought I would just forgive and forget and try to make things work...Man was I wrong...I should have kept my ground! Everytime I choose to do that option I get hurt not long after by him. He went to his moms house to spend the night and hang out with a friend so I had a friend over and after she left (her boyfriend brought me pizza this morning when he came to pick her up. He works at pizza hut and they had a meeting for some new kind of pizza that is being released in the next couple weeks, so he made one and brought it over for us...But mostly for me, cause I keep bugging him about doing it...Haha :cp) this afternoon (a couple hours ago) and so I decided that would do something nice for him...Aka clean his room. All his stuff was still in boxes and bags from when he was supposed to move out on friday, so I thought I would do his laundry and then put it away in the dresser and make his bed and just tidy (he is sooo messy, it's gross) he used to love it when I did that for him before...And he always says I don't do enough for him...So I thought that would be nice. Anyways I was pulling all his darks out of the laundry hamper and sorting them into piles when I pulled out a sock that felt like it had another sock or something inside of it, so I went to take it out and it was pot stuff :c( I was sooo upset...It was retarded I couldn't stop bawling I marched up the stairs and told my mom that he couldn't stay here, lol and then ran down stairs crying so she came down and asked me where the phone was and called him and told him that he has to leave today. That she is sick of this and she told him before that she didn't want drugs in her house, and he has been lying to us and to her for months and he was like "i'm sorry" and then he tried coming up with excuses...For some reason it was wet...I dunno why...So he said went through the laundry before and it was old and that is why it was wet, but no one believes him. First of all the sock was not wet...Just the stuff (there wasn't pot the drug itself with it, but all the stuff he uses...I think what he was doing was taking the sock and stuffing it with bounce and then blowing the smoke through that) but that isn't the only suspicious thing that has been around the house lately. The other day he had a lighter in his pajama pocket...And I asked him why a nd he didn't really have a good reason and just now when I went and cleaned out his room of my stuff there was a pair of sissors with res. On them...I am just so hurt by it...I don't know why...It must be the hormones because it isn't all that surprising, and when I told my mom he couldnt stay and she agreed and called him I was really upset because he wouldn't be staying here, and then when I calmed down a bit I am happyish about it...But I still want to bawl my eyes out. He called back once and tried health forum at me to my mom about how I went looking through his room and invading his privacy...And yeah. That is how he is, he does something wrong and he turns it into everyone elses fault and they did something wrong not him or not as bad as him...I guess it's how he makes himself feel better about the situation.
Anyways thanks everyone for listening to this...I'm not sure how much more of an update I can keep with this now...Haha as he is leaving for sure, my mom was really mad and upset...And not listening to his excuses at all this time so I know he is out for good. I feel really bad though because I know how much she needs his rent money...And I can't contribute anything right now, and she owes a lot of money to several places right away (one of them being a payment or two on my braces) gah! The stress. I wish I could figure something out. But my mind comes blank when I think of how I could bring some money into the house.
Later all! And thanks for listening to me, it makes me feel better to health forum on here, lol.
Kimmie
ps macysmama i'm sure you'll love having a boy! If you don't want to have the girl clothes sitting around anymore in your house you could always sell them or give them away to a young mothers program or a battered womens shelter (a lot of women just leave in the night and take nothing with them) or if you are wanting to give them to someone you know, then you can always just hang onto them...Babies and pregnant ladies are coming out like flies this year...Lol everywhere you turn (or atleast with me) there are like 4 pregnant women and like 30 strollers haha. It's crazy! But i'm sure eventually you will find good use of your old stuff. But I know it must suck having to buy new things, it can get pretty darn expensive!
And thanks for the encouraging words about everything. My ex is a jerk..He isn't really a bad guy (i guess there are worse, I mean he never hit me or anything) but he doesn't think of anyone but himself. He doesn't care that it looks bad on me and my mom if he smokes pot. He doesn't care that it could impare him from seeing his beloved daughter he cares about so much, he likes it there for he feels that he should be able to do it. He doesn't care that he hurts me deeply (and he knows it) when he lies to me and does something I have expressly told him and showed him I don't like and wont tolerate...It wouldn't hurt him not to smoke pot or do drugs, but it hurts me that he does do it. If I did something that hurt him, and made him unhappy (not to mention hurts me) I would deffinately stop, because I care about him (or I did.) but I guess he doesn't understand anything about being with someone and caring really for someone other then himself. I am sooo sick of it, so this is the end. No more.
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yellow ribbon
replied on January 15th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
Sorry bout all the caca have to go thru but I was thinkin if you have clothes u dont see yourself wearing or if your ex leaves stuff or doesnt remove it from your house in a timely fashion u could always sell it on ebay. You might not get a whole lot but it could help. Or have a garage sale I use to do that like 2 times a year with clothes and shoes and just basic junk that had accumulated in my room and make a some money. Good luck
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