I welcome everyone’s advice, thoughts, opinions, etc. On the following. To make a long story as short as possible, my wife informed me a few years ago that she had an affair with a former boss. She only admitted it because he was trying to blackmail her into lying in court to help him with some legal problems. She claims she had sex with him willingly at first but then it became an intimidation thing that went on for two years because she was not strong enough mentally to stop it. I agreed to help her get out of this legal mess.

I questioned her as to whether there was any possibility any of our children was not biologically mine. She said absolutely not but months later, after feeling extreme guilt, admitted that there was a possibility one of them was conceived during the affair. I have since confirmed the child in question has a different blood type than both of us, so not mine.

After much soul-searching, I made the decision to keep the family together until all the children were out of high school. I was without one of my parents growing up and just couldn’t subject my kids to that. While they have not witnessed a completely loving relationship in our home, the kids have not seen any arguments and have been provided for well.

Now the day is coming that the youngest will graduate and head off to college – and I must make a decision on whether to leave. My wife says she is deeply in love with me and wants this to work out. I cannot honestly say I am in love with her. I do care for her and care what happens to her but the pain she caused me is too deep.

I am now torn between going out to find someone to share my life and love with, which may be tough having passed my 50th birthday, and staying in this relationship which will allow the children to always have their home to come back to during breaks, holidays, etc. There is also the issue that if we get divorced that the truth will eventually come out and the child finds out I am not the biological father. I’m certain this child would be heartbroken and also try to find the other guy even though he is a total jerk.

Finally, there is a good chance I will look like the bad guy in this. Another man who reaches his middle age crisis and goes out in search of a younger woman. I say younger because I have still not decided if I want more children or not. I wanted more in this marriage but she said no, even though she knew full well there was a chance one was not mine.

I’m not expecting anyone to make decisions for me but I would like to know what you, both men and women, think of this situation. How will this all be viewed? Will another woman, especially a younger one, be interested in me (i’m fairly attractive and make good money), or am I destined to be seen as the bad guy, make enemies of my children, and spent the rest of my years in regret.

Any comments are appreciated.