I completely understand. I struggled with eating disorders for 10 years and have been lonely my entire life. But maybe I can help. Figure out who you are. People may say "just be yourself" or "listen to your heart" but that just doesn't help when you are consumed by loneliness or self-hatred. To cure myself of eating disorders, I had to go through something I wouldn't wish on an enemy. My ex-husband didn't let me eat when I was pregnant. He was abusive in other ways, but that's irrelevant. Basically, I had to get a taste of real hunger in order to no longer enjoy being hungry. The loneliness is harder to cure. I am now in a very fulfilling relationship with a man who loves me unconditionally. But that didn't help. I actually just thought he was crazy for loving me! The problem isn't all these other people (although I just lost my best friend, too and it sucks) the problem is that you don't appreciate yourself. What I did, just recently, was that I looked up "finding yourself" quizzes online. I know that probably sounds stupid, but it helped me find out who I am and what I like. That way, when I like myself, it really doesn't matter that i'm not surrounded by people all the time. And, you'll never find a soul that completely understands you, either. Maybe find all different kinds of friends that reflect the different aspects of you. For example, I have an intellectual friend, a spiritual friend, a mom, and my sister (who I can complain about parents with) :) basically, just know that by no means are you alone in the world. Even when it feels like it.
