Hey girl-
i am sorry u are feeling so down. Hugs from me. I think it is great u didn't purge for 2 weeks but maybe it doesn't feel like that to u since u actually feel worse. But that is ok. Yes bulimia is bad and in many ways is your enemy but it has also been your friend. You know the friend that is always there and friend you go to so if nothing else u can atleast get rid of that food. It is understandable to miss that. I don't know maybe recovery comes when u find that u are happier without it. But it is ok to miss it right now. It will get easier; it has to.

I had a breaking point today. I purged, I was so happy to do it. I mea it had been so long. I know I shouldn't do it but I can't resist. I mean everything is ok when I am not in school. We were off for a week and I was fine. Then I went back today and I cracked. I started health forum at people on my bus then got home and was frustrated with everything. School just gets me stressed out and I want an escape from that. I feel nasty cause yesterday I had jack in the box and kfc. It all made me feel horrible and not purging it was the worst for me. I need a therapist but I can't get my mom to listen to me. She tries to get me to take these vitamin things and if I do everything is ok with her. At times I just can't take life iget to a point and I crack like I did earlier. Thank you so much inezrina. I think that my bulimia is the only friend I have that I know I can acctually count on when things get bad enough to were I can't handle things. I know it won't turn on me or leave me like everyone else in my life does. I think I am just scared to lose something tha ti have depended on so much for my own personal happiness and even thoughit has ruined some of my health.

Hey it is ok to be scared to stop and feel like u r left with nothing that is why other things in your life have to be looked at and changed. Sorry this quick I am at school and my class meets again soon. I have a thought that might be a possibility is there another adult that u can talk to about your eating disorder that could then talk to your mother and help your mom learn more about it and what needs to be done. Because taking vitamins isn't going to solve the problem and they definitely don't make u feel better and really that should be the goal. Hope you have a good day.
Inezrina

No one that I know. My older sisters her friends mom called and was telling my mom that she needed to step up and be a mom because I was sick. I know my mom does care it is just the fact that the doctor we went to made it seem like it was not a big deal. Like oh heres the number to this place she may not be able t get in ther for 3 months but yaddadada. You know. I had an ok day today but I have a meeting with people from juvimile tommarrow and they will more or less find out about my ed and make my mom take me to a therapist or something. My step-dad sys that they might make me do counseling or something so I don't know or they will just put me o probation.

Hey, I hope the meeting went well let me know. You'll be ok :)

The meeting went horrible. I found out that my exboyfriend was a registered sex offender. He is 18 and I am 16 and me and him had sex like a while ago. I didn't want to have sex with him but he really pressured me into it. I had known him for a while though to but I never knew that bout him. I have known him since he turned 17. Then I find this out 2 months after we aren't together. I am like in shock. I ended up getting health forum at the whole time which made me frustrated and I couldn't keep a straight face so I like kinda kept on laughin cause I had to hide my anger so I laughed about it. She wanted me and my mom to see counseling. My mom doesn't want to see a counselor. I know I need to but I don't like talking to people that easily. I have never just sat and talked to someone about anything. I am always scared to get criticized I always did by my sisters. I decided not to see the counselor either buti don't know what my mom and step-dad decided about that thoguh. I think that they might make me see one but not sure yet. One of the reasons I come on here so much is b/c I can talk with people knowing what I am talking about and how I feel so that makes me feel a lil better when I can have people understand a lil bit about me. Even if I don't know them. I think the main reason I don't want to see a counselor is b/c I don't want to sit and talk about my ed. I never really talked about it to anyone. If I do it is to people on here and it is just writing. But yeah I have school in the morning so I have to get off of here

Sweety I am sorry the meeting was so stressful. However, I hope you change you mind and see a counselor. I know what u mean about talking to a stranger and how hard it is. I am awful at talking I mean really bad in fact usually I write to my therapist and give her the letters because it is so difficult for me to talk when I am there. Then she responds to what I wrote. Having lots of support is good and this forum is great for that but none of us r professionals or 99% of us I should say. And u know what is really cool a lot of coubselors become counselors because they were messed up kid who were miserable and didn't have help. If u have an experience like me u will be totally shocked when your counselor tells u a little about themselves. It is easy to think that most other peoples lives r great especially when they r a counselor and have steady job and r successful but it isn't like that.

Hey I hope you r ok.

I am doin ok I have been tanning so that has been making me feel better about my self. I ws always like really pale and now I feel a lil prettier that I have some color on my skin lol. I didn't purge yesterday so I guess that is good. I also kinda took a break form school I have only gone once this week. Which I know is bad but hey it was needed badly. How you been