i just wanted to add that i met my husband a couple of years ago and he is 36, never married or even lived with a girl. he is a classic nurd! and i am not and i love my nurd husband for who he is and how he treats me. i've dated model types and found some, not all, to be consumed with themselves. and some seem to feel like they don't have to work at getting women... i guess because of all the women out there looking for a serious relationship based on looks, not good. women are attracted to strength, not muscle, but character. at least i am

first off noone is too ugly to find a companion. You just might have not found someone yet. I am turning 29 next week I have two kids and I have never been married. My friends look at me and say I am beautiful. And I am. Everyone loves my eyes and my smile my laughter, my hair. I am a beautiful person. I dont have the best figure but im Normal. And yet I am still alone. Its your confidence its your love for life that will find you someone. I just got with a man 6 months ago that i thought was not even in my reach. He is 33 years older than me and has more money then I can dream of. But he has the same dark secrets that we all have. He has all the money in the world but he is more screwed up than I can even tell you. But he loves me and I love him. Dont let your looks stand in the way of anything what will bring you forth is confidence in yourself. Someone will love you because you are a good person. If you are because I dont know that I have never spoken to you. And never take your life. Do not ever give in. Noone deserves to burn in hell for eternity and that is what will happen if you kill yourself. God put you here so just try your best.

maybe you have body dismorphic disorder and so little flaws are driving you crazy...sometimes I think that that is my problem because one day I feel fine and that I am attractive and other days I want to kill myself. If you feel this way all the time then I would do what is best for you. If you really don't like something about how you look, it is possible to change it. However you should realize that if looks were important, everyone would be beautiful. The reason our society is so obssessed with looks is because it is the easiest thing to market, because you see it first, it's the outer layer, it involved little or no thought. How often do you see commercials for intelligence or intellectual ability. Also, personality goes along way. My brother just recently got a girlfriend who I at first thought was...somewhat plain looking, but she was so nice and funny and easy going that it made her so much cuter, and even when I look at her now, she just seems pretty to me because I like how she smiles or laughs and her eyes light up when she talks about work. It is definitely easier said than done, but in the end do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who's gorgeous and only spends time thinking about that and can't carry on a conversation? (not saying that all pretty people are dumb, but how often do extremely attractive people really have to think in a world so focused on looks) in the end, brains will rule all. The scientist who comes up with the cure for cancer? Who cares what he looks like, he will save lives. But yes, if you are not happy with how you look it does hurt a lot and you feel unable to do anything. I sometimes feel like I don't matter. Sometimes in class I sit and think about plastic surgery instead of what we are learning about and then I think "jeez if I could just be perfect looking I could get on with my life!" But that's because it's so easy for someone to insult appearance....it's the easiest thing to make you feel like caca, because you you can hide ignorance, stupidity, anger, fear, etc but you can't hide yourself, unless you don't ever leave....and then you will miss your whole life. And when you are 80 years old, and you definitely not (and not necesarily supposed to be) attractive, you will think...I missed it all! I'm sure you are not ugly. and perhaps hard on yourself. And by the way....men can get away with being unattractive more than women, because (at least in my opinion) a guy can still be sexy with his personality, even if he isn't as pretty as brad pitt, an in fact, I prefer a guy a little more dirty and rough looking, it's much more masculine.....flaws on a guy look great. And a sense of humor is always what gets me into bed....or at least on a few dates

When it comes to apperance it is not about what people think about you, its what you think about yourself. When people look at you a certain way i know it matters and all, but its really what u think about how u look. When someone says ur ugly it makes u feel bad right. What hurts even more is knowing that u are(apperance wise). When u look in the mirror u see an apperance that was given to u without asking for it, but its there. If u find ur self unattractive do what u have to do to change it, but dont become obsesed with changing ur self.

I see people talking about relationships and how personality matters yes its important and all that but apperance is to. If u are with someone they have to find your apperance attractive in some way if they dont then they think your apperance is unattractive so what did u really gain. something superficial something fake. If im with someone they have to find me attractive some way apperance wise if they dont then, they dont find me attractive, which means that they dont like the way i look, in that persons eyes im supposed to be adorable. That would really hurt right.

When u look outside and see a blue sky and sun and its nice and bright u see something bueatiful u are happy. When u see a cloudy day and its raining u mostly are going to have a gloomy day ur sad. Ex blue sky and bueatiful people make u feel good when u look at them. Ex cloudy sky and ugly people makes u feel uncomfortable and hard to look at. Some people make cloudy day's good days and dont care if its gloomy they get past that and see that it is a day and it shouldnt go to waste because its apperance doesnt make them feel good. TRANSLATION PLEASE: some people look past someones apperance and they see something that someone doesnt see whether they are seen as bueatiful or not.

It in the end is how u feel about yourself. If u are with someone and they find u unnatractive its bad, but if u find ur self attractive then its better.

I want who ever wants to to do this to do this. look at urself in the mirror. REALLY LOOK AT UR SELF. Then right down what makes u ugly apperance wise. then get a friend or someone (i know this is really hard to do but do it) to do the look at u list and tell u if its true. Then tell them to make a list. Ask someone who has good taste in apperance and will tell the truth. Some people will tell u theres nothing wrong and there lying. If something bothers u then their is something wrong.

she's drop dead gorgeous.

Here are her (daily!!!) complaints:

"I have not had a boyfriend for four years"
"I'd love to go out to dinner but no-one asks me"
"I was in the bar all evening and not one person spoke to me"
"The 'hot' guys that have spoken to me in the past rely on their looks they don't have much to say, are obsessed with themselves and are rubbish in bed."

I'm no looker by a long shot - but i hear her woes - and in some parts (where i can relate) she's damn right!

I kid you not. She's awesomely pretty - and incredibly alone. Next time you're in a bar and you see someone you like the look of (because if you're 'tuned in' it's amazing what vibes your higher concious picks up on), mention something lightly, if she replies - keep the conversation going.

Another friend - just as beautiful - is going through a hard time. People pick up on it and steer well clear of her. Intuition is a very strong thing.

she's drop dead gorgeous.

Here are her (daily!!!) complaints:

"I have not had a boyfriend for four years"
"I'd love to go out to dinner but no-one asks me"
"I was in the bar all evening and not one person spoke to me"
"The 'hot' guys that have spoken to me in the past rely on their looks they don't have much to say, are obsessed with themselves and are rubbish in bed."

I'm no looker by a long shot - but i hear her woes - and in some parts (where i can relate) she's damn right!

I kid you not. She's awesomely pretty - and incredibly alone. Next time you're in a bar and you see someone you like the look of (because if you're 'tuned in' it's amazing what vibes your higher concious picks up on), mention something lightly, if she replies - keep the conversation going.

Another friend - just as beautiful - is going through a hard time. People pick up on it and steer well clear of her. Intuition is a very strong thing.

I know I'm ugly. Everyday I look into the mirror, I cringe. Women like to tease me knowing I can't get to them at all. So, I've accepted the fact that I must concentrate on my intellectual abilities and achieve high success. I focus intently on my work and make sure it's done correctly and proficiently. So, just take one bad thing, whether be looks, communication, etc. and turn it into a good thing. I hoped this helped. Have a nice day.

I am also an ugly guy. But on top of this I have a low IQ and am poorly endowed. So be thankful that your only inferiority is your looks.

Eventhough she finds the "hot" guys boring, I'm sure she still has her standards and won't go near an ugly guy. Plus a person like this is one in a million.

I think I am extremely ugly as well. But you know what you got to do? go out with an ugly chick they know they can only get ugly guys.. so it's basically the same... Anyway can you email me a photo of you so I can give you an honest response..

I never had any serious relationships with anyone and I'm now 41. I alwys felt that I'm an ugly person, but now and I'm dating a very nice guy from my office. The only people I find ugly are the people who are cruel and vicious, like those Bs who rejected you. I'm sure you're a loving caring guy that makes you a beautiful person. Someday you'll find a women who will love you for who you are, not for what you look like..

I too am ugly. I hate myself. I never want to hang out with friends or family anymore or even leave the house out of fear of being silently judged. It's so lonely, i'm lonely. I feel like no one could ever love me and i'm embarrassed of myself for not being worth loving. I never even wear make up anymore or get dressed because I hate seeing myself at my full potential, like "this is the best I can look and I still look like crap", it really breaks my heart. I constantly find myself looking at beautiful people and wishing I were them. I think of millions of ways every minute of every day to how I could perfect my flaws, lypo, plastic surgery, cosmetic denistry, breast augamentation, better hair, cuter clothes, tanning.. but then reality sets in and I couldn't even begin to afford one of those things. I know that I have some awesome traits, i'm very bright, witty, and have the biggest heart of anyone I know but i'll never get to share my world with someone and be in love because I am not attractive. It makes me want to inflict pain on myself for hurting so much inside, it's like I want to punish myself for something that's beyong my control. I feel so undeserving. I often wish I weren't alive, no one wants to go through their lives lonely and in pain. The hardest part is keeping it all bottled up and not telling anyone how I really feel about myself because I don't want anyone to know how unhappy I am, it's almost like I feel like i'm too insignificant to have emotion. Ugly is bad enough, ugly AND basketcase would probably not make a great combination. People admire confidence. I told my father, the only close relative I have, that I was upset because I was ugly and he said "i'm sorry you didn't get my good looks ha ha".. I had to laugh it off in front of him while trying to calm the lump in my throat and choking back the tears. I hate that i'm worthless with nothing to look forward to, ever. I also have panic disorder and conginital heart disease (2 holes in my heart) that I have to live with along with all this self hatred and unacceptance. I am unloveable, never will find happiness, and will die poor, miserable, cold, and alone -- unless I off myself first. I wasn't always ugly, I was actually the most beautiful girl in school at one point but things change I guess..i've gained weight that I can't lose and constantly crash diet. I'm 25 now and at 5'7 I weigh a whopping 165 lbs.. i'm again on another diet in hopes that i'll eventually be worth something to society. I am a dudd. So much pain. Too much to edure. So, sorry about my rant. I hope everyone cheers up, I think you're all beautiful and deserve to be very happy. Ugly out

I don't understand? How did you go for good looking to ugly?

I am 33 years old. At 16 girls voted me to be the ugliest guy in class. I never kissed a girl untill I was 23, 10 minutes after my kiss I had my first BJ and 10 minutes after that I got laid for the first time in my life. This sexual revolution went on for a month after that I got bumped back to single status. This was 10 years ago and I haven't had sex since.

At work people make jokes behind my back about me being ugly. Sometimes I overhear them though it gave me a pretty thick skin but occasionaly it still hurts. On the positive side women think I'm a nice guy. I'm well spoken, kind, have a good job and could probably have a social life with friends if it wasn't for the fact that it hurts to develop feelings for a girl while she is bringing in a new boyfriend every year or so. The last girl I did date ended up seeing me as a friend and bumping uglies with my best friend behind my back ( in order not to hurt my feelings ) Then there were the silent indicators of girls greeting friends of mine with a kiss while they franticly tried to dodge having to kiss me on the cheek, this applies for birthdays too. I usualy get a handshake then. The list of small indicators reminding you of your less fortunate looks goes on, I just can't be bothered to go into that.

Friends ... well all of em are married now basicly they stopped calling me and hanging out with me, seeing casual banter often ended up in a joke at my expense I did not call them back either. Here is a nice actual joke example. We were talking about men getting more attractive as they get older to which my friends newly wed wife replied "hope you get very old then" ... funny. Not. To make a long story short, I don't have friends. I thought I had but aparrently what other people thought about their friends was more important than my feelings.

What will happen next ? I don't know. Maybe I'll find someone maybe I won't, basicly at this point I'ld just like to get laid again without the mental bagage of "if this does not work out and I leave her will I ever find someone again or will it take another 10 years" I wish life was less complicated and todays society was not as fixated on looks as it is right now. Maybe not ALL women judge guys on looks but quite a few of the ones that don't do care what their friends think of their boyfriends.

I wish the OP the best of luck after my small rant.

Yes, life is incredibly unfair when you are aesthetically challenged. But studies show that females with uglier males are more happy, and that marriages based on superficial ideals usually end in divorce. Besides, females are not programmed to be attracted to looks, but status. But females commonly mistake looks as a form of status since they are unsure what they want (according to Sigmund Freud).

Unfortunately, the irrational half get to choose. This is why it sucks more to be an ugly male than an ugly female. Also, males judge females based on looks and their bodies, while females focus a lot more on just looks.

Steve,

You are part of God's creation - you are NOT ugly. No one themselves is physically ugly. If you are having a problem with women, simply go places and start conversations with them - very politely. If they do not seem interested, It happens ALL the time. Even to the ones people consider the "beautiful" people. Most on to the next woman who shows you the respect and love you deserve! Killing yourself is not the way to go - you have to be strong and accept YOU for who YOU are, because you are unique and are made this way for a reason to make somebody out there really really happy. You are precious Steve. They are out there somewhere, but it takes patience.

God Bless,
Sara

I thought the same way about myself before i met my now husband drew. now i am 21 he is 33 we have two honesome sons together and been married for almost three years., i never thought i would ever find the one. but i did at 17... you well find her maybe she well find you first. give it time try to anyways....
i had and still have bad self esteem that didn't stop me from trying to find love... it was hard but i manage....
i wish ya luck

I thought the same way about myself before i met my now husband drew. now i am 21 he is 33 we have two honesome sons together and been married for almost three years., i never thought i would ever find the one. but i did at 17... you well find her maybe she well find you first. give it time try to anyways....
i had and still have bad self esteem that didn't stop me from trying to find love... it was hard but i manage....
i wish ya luck

I'm unattractive, and haven't dated more than a handful of times in the past 25 years. I don't have much of a family or friends. No one calls on the phone. I've tried reaching out to people, but somehow it doesn't work out. I'm intelligent and have a very good personality at work, but the moment I begin talking to a woman socially, I can tell she's looking for a way out. Depression and solitude have begun to affect my sanity. I'm glad I found this forum. I feel a little less lonely at the moment, and a few people have made some good recommendations.

Hello,

PLEASE READ MY POST!!!

Just want to say that life is not as exciting on the ugly side, and I do mean ugly. I am a 26 year old african american, medium athletic build and 5'11. I have been told by my mother that I am black and ugly since I can remember. I learned that she was right when i had attempted to ask girls at school to be my girlfriend. they would tell me that I am ugly and would never go out with me. I have been rejected 20 times in my attempt to find a girlfriend. i tried the pretty, not so pretty, slim, fat all types of girls and no one would give me time of day.

I have large scars on my head. and it is very noticable. no one wants to be seen in public with me. i dont even want to go in the public.

But let me tell you why I have posted. I am thinking about ending my life. I get soooo depressed when I see a cute girl. Simply because I know that I would never be able to get a girl like that. I am scared to go to the mall, club, and anywhere in public. I am truly afraid of society. People really do scare me because I give them so much control of how I feel about myself.

I graduated at a four year university at UNC-Charlotte. I was a hermit, and not by personality. I saw pretty girls of all races. Sometimes I would have to run to the restroom to just breakdown and cry because I know that I am nothing they would want. I even tried the extreme fitness look. I was about 206 lbs and very lean. Still, no luck. All of my friends are more attractive than I am. When they go out to the club in Charlotte, they always ask me to come with them. I make up an excuse so I will not feel so bad about myself once I leave the club.

Life is not worth living this way. I am just thinking about driving at a high speed on the highway and crash into something so I can just die. I mostly hurt when i look at myself and look at other men who have the pretty girl. I try to say to myself, what does he have that I dont. But, obviously he is more attractive. I wish i was not cursed by God and these horrible genetic features. My dad is from Ghana and my mother is from america.

I even feel that it is hopeless for me to even write this post because nothing is going to change. I am still me and i do not love myself or even know what love is. I just want to give away all of my possessions to my friends and end my life. There is so much that I can write about my depression and looks, but its almost no use. Only thing that can release my pain is to just disappear from earth.