i know im oly 13 but when i feel that im fat or ugly, i choose a part of my body that i dont like each day and learn to love it!!, look at your face in the mirror, look at the positive things about your face, not the negative! by doing this you may look more confindent and may look more attractive because of this confidence... it works with me thats how i got a bf (not that im going out with him anymore coz he moved to spain but that doesnt matter and that has nothing to do with this)

I am 21 and I have the same problem. People have always told me I'm ugly all my life but now it's finally sunk in. I have avoided all my friends which was unusual for me because I use to go out to clubs, rave's, house parties and lots of other stuff. I was quite popular and I had a good sense of humour, but it was my friends who got all the girls. It didnt bother me until about a year ago, I didnt use to care but now I can't accept it. I asked several girls out but they all shunned me. like all girls have been doing for years. I have been avoiding my friends and now they've given up calling me which is my own fault.

I'm afraid to even go outside the house because I worry about girls and people in general sayin God he is ugly! It has made me hate everyone and everything I am writing pages and pages of this caca every night to try to vent some emotion.
I have considered suicide but I don't have the guts to go through with it, and I would hate to do that to my family.
I know 'looks is a shallow thing'. I dont want to be good looking. I wish i was just normal and could go outside like everyone else.
The weather is nice, I wish I could go to the beach or to a funfair down the road but now I'm just stuck inside the home playing video games and losing interest in my life.

Anyway thanks for reading this guys (and girls) I know there are people on this forum with much worse problems than me but I just had to get some of this off my chest, I just can't find the strengh to deal with it!

Hi, I'm a 19 year old female and after reading your message i felt i had to reply to it. Everyone has someone out there for them, i really believe that. It doesnt matter how you look, whether your fat or thin, whether you look like an oil painting or not! Everyone is special, and besides, you sound like a really lovely guy. Not all girls judge on looks.
I had a tough time as a teenager, i got called names for the way i looked and ended up in a very bad relationship. I also felt like killing myself. But life isnt about what you look like its about being happy within yourself and not letting anything hold you back. I got rid of my boyfriend and concentrated on myself and my future and forgot about my looks. Im now living life for me. I suggest that you take that first step. Get a new job, go to university or college, get your own house, take up a hobby...something that really interests you.
You sound like you have such a lot to give, please dont let ur looks hold u back. Life is for living, people should live like today is the last.
I wish you so much luck for the future.
Be happy

No matter what you look like or what your attitude is like. The facts remain the same: You're only going to be alone if you give up.

It sounds like you have already given up. So I'm not going to waste anymore of my time

I wish you the best of luck, lust and love!

i grew up in a third world muslim country as a kid... over there dating is "illegal" u cant even hold hands of your gf if u can find one in public places... real married couples get into troubles with police and hardliner militias sometimes... i aint even jokin... i came to states at age 18, being a unibrow, much hairier than avg american guy at my age and had no experience with girls at all... not even one kiss! added i was about 50-60 lbs overweight and my boobs looked fairly weird for being a guy... i was in the same mind set as u were in... but a lil different and harsher

I still have not been successful at gettin laid at age 22, but i've figured out 80% of ppl out there are fake... they only look for SEX and not relationship...and thats a turn down for me...
i dont like uncontrolably horny or greedy ppl

and i figured most girls fall for either money or hot guys... results... multiplemarriages and 50% rate of families with single parents in america and many many thousands of kids (teenagers) having kids...

women sometimes fall for players and pimps (not literally but many guys, matter of fact most of them just want to be a player with more than 1 gf) and they dont even know why they do fall in such failing luvs...

none lasts! look at the numbers and stats

many girls also want u for money they flirt with u in club until u get em a drink and suddenly they disappear or somehow the refuse to hang out with u or give u a number... well no different for me! they are useless

matter of fact most avg ppl in street are just like that

finding a good match, a real good match is a hard thing to do... but trust me there will be some1 out there for ya... and if there is not... tell yourself "I'm the caca" self-esteem is all it takes and eventually u'll make some1 fall in luv with u... be yourself... if u r a nerd and into school thats a turn on for some more intelligent girls

try to maintain confidence at all times, dont lose yourself...i'm still having trouble doing this but i can tell i'm way better than 4 years ago and now i know its only a matter of time and losing some more weight to be able to find me a girl...

after all know this: want it from god, quit masturbating if u do, and be confident... u'll get it... it requires a great "will" on your side to maintain your confidence

u think bill gates was attractive when he was young??? look where he is standing now!!

and remember u'll only need 1 true love in your whole life... not experiencing the same thing others are doing is only giving u an advantage

i know that guys who are virgins when they are older are sometimes turn on for some certain type of girls... those other ones who think u wont be good in bed... well they are only ignorant losers most of america consists of... no doubt! they remain losers for the rest of their lives trust me... there are millions of 'em out there... and know something else...

WHY DO U THINK WE HAVE A PROBLEM CALLED MID-LIFE CRISIS???

CUZ ALL THE YOUTH IS SPENT ON SEX WITH MULTIPLE PARTNERS AND BY THE TIME PPL LOSE THEIR ACTUAL PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS THEY BECOME REALLY DEPRESSED AND TROUBLED!!!! so keep all of that in mind before begining to get upset

thats my 2 cents!
a non-muslim musilm virgin! who will one day become womens favorite man through his character and wisdom

well, I think it'd help him more than anything else! And it seems that he is concered about how he looks, so yeah...

and yes ur right, they might be nice,
but what we first see is ones appearance. [/quote]


not to disrespect anyone... but this is exactly the common dumb judgment i was talking about... ppl are after your look at first point... so they are idiots... cuz any beauty will make'em do anything!

your look will vanish in less than 10 years... u start gettin older and eventually everyone in natural form @ age 40 looks uglier than their 20s

some who faced problems at that age... come up with plastic surgery which is such a loser way of expressing yourself... that means you dont count yourself good enough... (celebrities are different...they have adif lifestyle and story and personality)

and as some other friend said it... personality

i know a few guys in their 40s who can pickup any girl they want... they all have big bellys due to too much beer drinking and one of them is half bald! but he can do it smooth and easy.... its all about being yourself and u shoudl portrait a very good image of yourself in your mind!

define the word "ugly"

- no1 can figure out your problems better than yourself, not 1 sichologist (wrong dictation i know) can do it... not one medication

and if u need medication only stick with some sweet mj if u catch my drift...
just say medical question whoever dont like u for any reason and satisfy yourself... keep yourself happy but dont exceed your limits or get yourself dependant on anything! MAINTAIN! and keep it cool

watch stewie in family guy and try to learn from him... he's one of the best models of character for me... watch as many episodes as u can.... he is ironically a baby character but he always thinks of himself as the caca!!!! thats the spirit!

ha ha stewie is the worst rold model ever! trying to kill his parents and destroy the world?!?!?


i dont think anyone can tell you a damn thing about yourself
in the end when you find yourself and true happiness you will have eliminated ugly from your vocabulary
theres always SOMETHING wrong with everyone
no one is perfect...
and whoever says or thinks they're perfect... has crabs...
lol no just kidding
but for serious
life is beautiful
dont waste it away in the mirror

my name is kate i am ugly too i know the pain of being "different" aka ugly its a lonely life sometimes i get so lonely i want to junp off a bridge. i know the pain of pretending that i dont know that im ugly. i know the pain of pretending that i am g happy for a friend that just got engaged while living in my misery. im sick of being the fat jolly girl damm it i am not happy. i know that i wil never be happy i just wasnt meant to have the husband and 2.5kids that the rest of america has im 36 now and im sick of my pretty friends tellling me that there is someone for everyone not for me not in this life'.
i was in love love with a crack head once ok maybe i still am lol, he cheated on me with with girls that at the time i thought were uglyier than me but then i learned that they were not i was even uglier than them. i want you all to understand i just dint mean looks i have a rotton pesonality too i have never been told that but i must have one by the way my current problem boyfriend treats me. ugly peaple lets unite and pro create god needs more of us so the shiny peaple can stand out ok sorry for the horrible spelling im drunk again an feeli' sorry fo my ugly slf

i feel that all the time....
but u know what??
i really think that personality is ALL that counts!!
u seem like a really sweet guy and the internet websites are NOT for u!!
all it has are ppl that are looking to get laid by hott ppl....very shallow

http://ehealthforum.com/health/viewtopic.p hp?t=50737&postdays=0&postorder=as c&start=40

Every detail in your response is exactly what happening to me from my last 6-7 years, everyday, 24 hours(except the time for sleep). I cannot agree with you anymore.
I have recurrent thoughts about this idea and always think of committing suicide.
I lose all my energy when looking into the mirrors.
I stay home playing video games and have no social life. I feel crappy when pretty, tall girls walk pass me. I adore handsome looking men and wish to be one of them.
I ve lost all my strenght in my study and entertainments. This kind of damn thoughts have been killing tons of my brain cells in the past 6-7 years.
I frequently post my experience and how I get depressed and frustrated with my unattractive looking on major forums. However the problems are still problems. No solutions can be reached. Am i gonna be depressed for my whole life?

btw, i am turning 22 this year.

Thanks guys. I have read carefully what you have all told me and you've made me feel a little better.

I still find it difficuly because I fall in love with people so easily and it hurts because I know they are 'automaticaly' (< did I spell that right?) not interested in me. If I just looked 'average' I think I could have a girlfriend so easily because I am good at communicating with people and have a good sense of humour. Face to face I can make girls laugh easily, I just got that kind of personality and body language.

I get jelous when I see normal guys driving in their cars with their normal girlfriends, it's like a natural part of life that will be difficult for me to experience. And I have read that relationships usualy do not work if the couple do not find each other attractive (not necesserily HOT).

And just for the record... I am 5 ft 7 inches. I am not fat and I am very muscular due to my job. So it feels like I am already at my best so no matter what I do nobody will want me. It feels horrific from certain points of view.

All you people out there who are overweight, I am begging you. PLEASE! do not give up just because you're overweight. Slim down and make a go of your life. If most fat people were slim most would have attractive features. Something I will never have. PLEASE dont give up because I will do ANYTHING to be in your position.

GOOD LUCK ALL OF YOU! and thanks to all those who gave me some of their time and advice I appreciate it.

(I am currently in love with somebody now. She is not HOT. Or Good-Looking by our society, but in my eyes she is the most beautiful creature on Earth.)

Im in the same boat.
Only difference is im 25
www.myspace.com/aftereight25 for pics of me
Ive done the whole dating sites, match.com membership ran out the other wk, after doing the pay 4 6months, if u dont get a date, get 6months free. One yr later not a single reply apart from sum1 wanting money. Tried well over 20 different dating sites etc. Neva replied to, yet sometimes i can send the msg limit and still neva hear anything.
I also have neva had a serious gf, i havent even had a cuddle in 6yrs and yet ppl round me keep saying it will happen soon. I hate hearing ppl say how do u live without sex, i cant even go without it for a wk, try 6yrs mate see how u cope.
All the replies ive seen on here saying oh its them who have something wrong with them not you, not every1s like that, WHERE ARE THEY THEN? we msg 100s on website, we meet ppl at work, pub, clubs, hobbies etc EVERYONE JUDGES u, u go out looking like us and no1 will even bother to get to know you. All those ppl that say personality comes first, thats bull, those ppl wont even bother 2 get 2 know ur personality inless they are attracted 2 u in the first place. I have neva once met any1 who hasnt judged me on my looks first, n ive met alot.
As for ppl sayin it will happen soon, screw u, no it wont, i heard ppl saying it will happen soon 6yrs ago, how soon is soon exactly? i have 2 watch n hear bout all my family members coupled up, friends etc. every xmas, wedding etc, im always the singleton.
then ppl say ur special one will come soon. wat im only eva suppose 2b with one person whilst every1 else around me gets 2 have sex, one nighters, fun, short, long term relationships good and bad and im suppose just get the one. For one i dont believe at all u will know wat exactly u want from sum1 til uve experienced all those things.. I had 2 put up with my best mate bringing a different girl home every few days when i was at uni, then finally finding sum1 his been with for over 4yrs, he cheats, yet he still gets keep her. I have 2 put up with lil sis bringing guys back every time she goes out. i cant handle it anymore.

Just remember, it is your personality that counts. Your self esteem is the pits and you have to change that. You need to have confidence in yourself. I am willing to bet you have a wonderful personality and a great guy to be with. I'll bet you have a great sense of humor too. Don't give up on yourself like this. Give yourself more credit then you have been.

Carrie

Ugh, well that was like looking into the future. I suggest plastic surgery.

This may in fact sound mean, but its the honest truth of my opinion. If you're ugly, you're ugly, but don't let that be your defining feature. You need to start finding things about yourself other than looks because even if you ARE ugly, those features should be your redeeming qualities.

I can relate to a lot of this. I don't really have much to add other than what has been said, though.

I'm 42 now. I never really had a "girlfriend" before my wife, whom I met online when I was 26. In fact, for most of that time I was lucky to have one date a year. I was the "sweet guy" that all the young ladies wanted to fix up with friends and acquaintances, but never date themselves. "You deserve to be happy with someone," they'd often say...but always with someone else.

I was balding by age 16 and lost almost everything off the top by 18, and I'm only a little over 5' 7". Neither of those exactly boosted my self-esteem.

I know it's cliche, it's corny and it's hard to believe, but in my case it was true: you'll find it where you least expect it. Why is that? I have a theory. When you're not actively looking for it, you can just be yourself. You don't dwell on what you don't have and your real self can come out. It's not the artificial self we paint on ourselves in order to get attention from the opposite sex. In my case, that means when I was "not expecting it," I was not dwelling on loneliness or whether or not the next person I met was going to be the one (which would cause me to act unnatural and goofy around them). I was not wearing insecurity on my sleeve, though my heart was (and to some degree, still is) full of insecurity.

I wish there was a magic bullet. I know how loneliness feels; I experienced it for well over a decade after I "discovered" girls. And had I not lucked into that one chance encounter, there's a good chance I can still be there. So to that I would say, "there but for the grace of God go I."

Wish I had better advice, but all I can say is that in my experience, the harder you try to make it happen, the more elusive it might become. An easygoing personality and self-confidence are, I've learned, even more important than the height and the hair on the head, both of which I do not have. And I know self-confidence is difficult in this situation...which is why it so often happens when and where you're not trying to make it happen.

hey,OMG you do not realise how much looks matter to a girl!--i would so not care if the guy had an ugly face,if i liked his personality i would automatically think his face was perfect! like i'm in Love with this guy now and even though mos t of my friends think he's ugly i think he's perfect...i don't know why i love him but i do! As they say "Knowones perfect until u fall in love with them!" Xxx

I also dont think guys can be 'ugly'XXx