Hey steve, i'm going to post my own thread but I understand how you feel. In fact, I am you, just 10 years younger. I worry that i'll never find anyone. I try so hard. I'm very social. I can make lots and lots of male friends... It's really easy in fact.. But when I talk to girls, they are different. See, a lot of guys who can't get dates lack the confidence to walk up to a girl and try to talk to her, I in fact do not. I have been turned down face to face by hundreds of women in my life. I used to drink a lot, and all the sex i've had in my life I owe to alcohol. I'd get wasted, she'd get wasted, we'd wake up the next day and then she'd never talk to me again. Since I quit drinking, I haven't even been kissed by a girl, and I have no close girl friends anymore. The only female friend I had left, I fell in love with and asked her out and she never hung out with me again. I stayed persistant, tried to get her to come around for the last six months. And last weekend she said she'd consider finally seeing me again. That she was horrible to me and she knew it, and I deserved a second chance. I was so happy, but then the next day she basically changed her mind. She told me she'd be too guilty to know what to say too me. I told her not to be, I said all the right things, I did all the right things but it didn't matter. The simple fact is I cannot make a girl talk to me in person, let alone love me. I can't even get this girl to call me on the phone. It would mean so much to me if she would. I'm all broken up about it, and I want to give up. But everyday I go on because I have too. Because my family people commited suicide and it hurt them so much. I don't want to cause pain to people who actually do care about me, just because women treat me like crap. Thats all you can do steve, is fight on, and it is a fight.
And i'll tell you something else, all these people who say that if its meant to be it will happen, if you will change your attitude it will happen, this and that. They are full of caca. There is nothing wrong with you. Just like there is nothing wrong with me. People who don't look good, especially tall, skinny ugly people don't get chances for relationships. We ask girls out and they say no. Girls want muscles, they don't want super tall guys. If the girl is 5'4 she'll tell you that you are too tall for her, if she is 5'10 she'll say you are too skinny, if you ask her out after a month she'll say you moved too fast, if you ask her out after 3 months she'll say you waited too long. It will always be your fault in their eyes, it's a no win situation. According to research people know very quickly if they will want to mate with someone they meet, it's almost all based on physical atraction. As much as I wish that were not true, thats just the way it is. And it doing it sucks for people like us who try so hard, and would worship any girl that would date us, let alone marry us. Have you ever been on a date? I haven't. I've been stood up before. Dude your like my kindred doing it spirit. I'm telling you, don't let these doing it health forum knock you out. Keep fighting bro. I'm pumped full of anti-depresents, I quit drinking, I quit smoking pot, I am doing everything I can to stay alive. I expect you to do the same, because like you said, your mom loves you. My mom loves me too. Even after our moms die, do you think they want to lookd own from heaven to their sons commiting suicide? Hell no. You gotta fight, and hope, just hope that one day you'll meet a women who isn't a complete superficial health forum, and she'll give you a chance and get to know the real you. Thats the only hope guys like us have. The one thing you have to do is keep your self e-steem high, people say it atracts girls, honestly it really doesn't. It helps to not scare them away, but its not going to attract them, but what it will do is keep you sane in moments like this. It will keep you from pulling the trigger.