Steve, ur situation has impacted me, since I know ur pain. I am a fatass. But you see, the thing is, I dont let that bring me down! I am proud of who I am. You should be proud of who you are too! Scrw women for this part of the conversation. Im 45lbs overweight, and guess what, I dont care. I mean, im trying to loose it yea, but ohh well, for now this is who I am. I have always been fat. But, since I was 8, I was proud of it,i never cared what women thought of my looks, here is how I now have no problems getting a womam, although I have a soul mate, I still seek other women. Here is the story:

growing up was hard for me, family seperated. Mom was in an island named trinidad, dad was in new york, my sister was in florida. I live my whole life like that with my mom. I lived my life in trinidad (school years). Growing up was sort of difficult, ppl callin me fatey, fat boy, fattas, lardass, etc. They still do. But, I always was a pervert, and was deemed "super-perve" frm 6th grade, and forever remain "kiemister, the super-perve". I was un-stoppable. I would do gestures to all the girls to get them "on", and they would look at me with disgust, and turn away. But, there was a girl that was not pretty, but just decent. She only had one friend. Her name was rachel. I started talkin to her, but she said :get the hell away from me u fat freak. I was crushed. Hearing that frm her was ....Just...Owch. I just kept trying to talk to her, and she kept running away. One day, I found her crying, because her only friend had cursed her off. I started trying to make her feel better. All she could say was leave me alone fat ass. I wasnt giving up. I ran and got tissues and wiped her tears. She punched me in the gut. I cripped to the floor. She just started beating the caca outta me. It was horrable. I couldnt restrain her cuase I was just helpless, on the floor. After recieving a broken collor bone, she looked at me and screamed at her self wut she had done. She quickly asked me if I was ok, but I wasnt able to speak, I was in shock. I manage to get up, and I walked slowly, just gimping, not able to move my left side. She was crying, asking if I was ok. Her mom piked us up, I went to the hospital, I was given a sling, 17 stiches, and alot of band-aids. The next day at shchool, I walk up to her, and just asked her politley, : are you feeling beter today?, and I stroked her cheek gently with my right hand, in a loving way. She just crumbled, crying in my arms. She was now feeling better, and from that day on, we became best friends. We had sex at an early age, 13, and we go to the same college. She now is one of the most beautifull women I have ever seen. And I am not the best lookin guy.

Aside from her, I was friends with girls only from that time after. They liked me cause I am proud of who I am, and they like my personallity. All the girls opend up to me in a way they cant to their own family and boyfriends. I guess I was mr. Sex advice and anything related with the female/male body sexually, they would come to me. So that would be my trait. Maybe u have a certain trait, like cookin, or sumthing. Just find a woman, and just open up to her. Show her what ur traits are. Dont worry, eventually, you will find some one.

Good luck man, and pm me if u want to talk more. I wish you luck on your journey.

Steve,

same here. I'm about the same age - a little younger - and I too have
never been in a serious relationship. I've had a few infatuations, but
i've never been able to pull the trigger. I've asked a few times but
always been turned down.

Thoughts of suicide have graced my mind since I was in highschool.

I'm bald but otherwise i'm a decent looking fellah. But being without
hair at such a young age can be a gross disadvantage in the social
meat market, especially if you're weighed down with self-pity, loss
of confidence, and any other psychosocial hang-up.

I don't have any answers for you. I continue to suffer. I continue to
struggle.

What I have done is try to better my mind. I've discovered my soul,
made mighty efforts to improve my personality, and I try not to
obsesse about my own failings. Instead, I try to think of the needs
of others. I'm learning how to love. I'm battling my ego. All this
- and more - so I can be more comfortable in my own skin.

Come to the darkside, and your problems will be solved.

If you do not, then you will meet your destiny (which is not good).

well, steve, it sounds like you have managed to find the most shallow group of women on earth. I have been around long enough to know that looks are not everything. What kind of person are you? Do you have a good heart --care for others? I have become less interested in looks and more interested in personality. There are a few of us gals who don't care so much if a guy doesn't have the looks as long as he's got a brain.
Jean

Jean, point proven. But, all my girl-friends (friends that r girs) say that 99.8% of all women are shallow. This is a mystery. But, they told me that I am the kinda guy you depend on for anything. I gues you have to just find a great quality about yourslef, and work on it. Make that one thing ur good at and make it "you".

I guess that I would agree with that -most women probably are that shallow. I have just learned that looks are not everything. Actually,
i like an 'interesting' face. All those "beautiful" people are kind of
boring to look at after a while. But as I said, who are you? What
kind of person are you? That is more important to me than what
someone looks like.

My best advice...Have some confidence in yourself. I am a pretty attractive woman and i've dated some really good looking guys, but one of them had such low confidence it was a huge turn off.

Trying to find someone to date online is generally not a good idea. For the most part people online are gonna to judge you by your picture and that's all they'll ever see.

And keep in mind...Sometimes the harder you look the less likely chance of finding someone. Try and count your blessings. Things could always be worse.

Trust me...Pretty people don't always have it as great as you think.

u speak the truth itself

Steve,
the external looks are not what actually counts, to women who know when they've found a treasure-like you sound to be. It is the person who you really are that will eventually come out to the woman who is meant to be for you. Don't rush things, eventually she will cross your path.
By the way, you can't be that ugly. You may just need to work on your self-esteem. I welcome the offer of the pic. Remember, whatever you look like, it's the inside that really counts.
Gen

Hey steve, if you are still out there reading this: come on, respond to us.
Are you still there dude?

i'm sorry but attraction is simply an evolutionary necessity. There is absolutely no gaurentee that some magical girl will float his way for a fairy tail finish.

Attraction is also a science. If you do your homework, you can manipulate women very easily, without them even knowing it. A women giving advice on the subject is immaterial, since women, by their very nature, do not know what they want.

I know that it is the trend to give cyber-hugs these days and tell those with problems that everything will be fine, but that is not the way the world works.

If you want to change your life, you have got to make the effort. Simple as that.

Life is easy. It is just the people that suck.

i object! I truly do not care for "good-looking" men. My mother once told me to beware of the good looking men, she said, "they think an awful lot of themselves." and mother was right, the better looking they are the more they are interested in only themselves.

I repeat, what kind of person are you? That is what I am interested in.
What you look like is not so important as long as you are not some kind of slob -i mean to say you need to be presentable. That is: know how to dress appropriately (and no we are not playing 'what not to wear') and be neat and clean and don't worry about what your physical 'make-up' is.
If you are well-groomed and polite that is a good start.

you are correct when you say that looks do not matter to such a degree that some would have you believe. How many times has a guy looked at a gorgeous girl with some but ugly scum bag and said "how the hell did he get off with her"?


I'll tell you how he got off with her. He is either 1) extremely lucky. Or 2) (and this is far more likely), he is an alpha male.


Did he got off with her because he had some wonderful personality? Hardly. In fact, he was probably an arrogant prick.


Am I saying that you have to be an arrogant prick to get off with girls? Hell no.


But it does not hurt to have some game.


The secrets of attraction can be learned by any man.


Only the man with enough confidence to b**** slap the devil will fulfill his potential.


But that is ok. One can learn confidence as well.

I can understand how you feel, I feelmore ugly as I get older. I,m a paranoid schizophrenic and so theres no chance of me getting one, tho I have had girlfriends in the past. I,m no picture either but I wouldnt worry about how you look, if your nice and presentable than your ok.
Super model women are ugly to me, I like oddness in a women, something different in their looks ie a bent nose or something crooked. And i,m sure some women are the same. Youve just got to find one that finds your features appealing, but its an old thing to say, beauty comes from the inside.
I,d say dont go looking on the internet as so many see faces first not personalities, plus if you smell nice they cant smell you over the net etc its often the little things about you that the opposite sex like.
Talk to people you meet, much better.
Good luck to you

Okay fellaws, good subject

i hate to say it but I agree that of 99.8 of the women being shallow. But I think it is not only women, men are exactly the same way. The more handsome the man is the more he thinks he can get a "hot girl". By nature we are attracted by what looks good. Like food, you do not eat what you do not like.

What I believe is anyone can look good, don't have to be mr. America but anyone can look decent enough. A haircut for example can make such a huge difference in how you look. I too offfer myself for the pic to see. I have to say you I feel for you. I look attractive now but I wasn't that born with it. Before getting to the depression point I decided to do all I could to look my best since this physical attraction seem to be so important in the love field. I was ultra skinny and went to the gym and gained 25 pounds in the right places. I had plastic surgery on my nose and got rid of the acne I used to have and well you guessed then I started getting interesting dates. That has been my experience. I had to work at it.

Lol this is funny. Watching every1 battle, quote eachother. But the goldy one ownd. I dont kno yall still arguin... He is right, nothin to argue with.... Now wathch, sum1 gonna argue with this statement I am making right now... Its prolly gonna be u reading this... Go ahead, push the post reply button u son of a gun. Lol.

so how do you suggest learning some of that confidence then?

[quote="the godly one"][quote="jeanzsdyn"]

i agree with most of you said but that's rubbish...I'm ugly and I get the good looking ladies looking at me all the time and have had several intrested in me.

Ok for one you need to understand that in order to be ugly in the true sense of the word then you need to be dishonsest,mean,evil all in all a bad person. But here you are reaching out trying to get some help there fore I can not believe you are an "ugly" person. And for two if some one is going to reject you just from your physical apperance then they werent for you any way. You need to understand that the human form is a beautiful thing and no one is ugly you are a beautiful person and anyone who tells you different is truly the ugly one.