Just to give a bit of background info I
have struggled problems since I was 12 and
now im 18. I have been a on/off self-
harmer since I was about 12 and have
always felt like life isn't worth living.
I have never seen a counsellor ort told
anyone part from friends which latter
resulted in losing them so I don't speak
to anyone anymore about it. I used to
sing for and be part of a youth fellowship
for a couple of years, I recently left as
I felt like I couldn't cope anymore and I
didn't want anyone at the church to
realise how messed up I am. I always
used to put on a front and pretend that
nothing was wrong butr on the inside I
felt like I was dead. Tyhrough this I
lost some friends who were part of the
church service I have always felt guilty
as they more important to the church than
me and I felt like I let the church down.
I do miss going to church but I feel that
I can't go back as I still feeling really
bad recently, even considering suicide and
my leg is really sore from self harming so
I don't want to go back incase I ruin
their lives like I did to my friends. I
don't know what to do anymore.
Last edited by Linz1987 on 12-30-05 18:08pm; edited 1 time in total
Why do you say you are "messed up" ? What
did you do that is so wrong and make you
not want to go back to church, or ruin
their lives as you say ?
If you just feel guilty because you left
the group, let's just come back and start
again. There's nothing to be ashamed of
that you left a place because you didn't
want to go no more.
Btw, the chuch is the home of forgiving
and hope. Don't under-estimate that.
