Just to give a bit of background info I have struggled problems since I was 12 and now im 18. I have been a on/off self- harmer since I was about 12 and have always felt like life isn't worth living. I have never seen a counsellor ort told anyone part from friends which latter resulted in losing them so I don't speak to anyone anymore about it. I used to sing for and be part of a youth fellowship for a couple of years, I recently left as I felt like I couldn't cope anymore and I didn't want anyone at the church to realise how messed up I am. I always used to put on a front and pretend that nothing was wrong butr on the inside I felt like I was dead. Tyhrough this I lost some friends who were part of the church service I have always felt guilty as they more important to the church than me and I felt like I let the church down. I do miss going to church but I feel that I can't go back as I still feeling really bad recently, even considering suicide and my leg is really sore from self harming so I don't want to go back incase I ruin their lives like I did to my friends. I don't know what to do anymore.