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What's the Point In Living (Page 1)

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I am 18 and since I was about 12 I have felt like that everything would be better if I was dead. I try not to feel like this and put up everyday but no matter what I do all I want to do is end the pain. I have self harmed since I was 12 I used to do it on my arms then the teachers started asking questions so I started doing it on my legs and the top of my legs so no one gets hurt by seeing what I do yto myself, I know everyone probally thinks im just a stupid teenager.I lost quite a few friends as they thought I was just attention seeking so ever since I have kept it to myself. I don't know what to do.


Last edited by Linz1987 on December 30th, 2005 07:18 AM; edited 1 time in total
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First Helper festivus
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replied December 29th, 2005
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Why?
Hey sweetie, something in your past has caused you to feel this sadness and self worthlessness. Trust me.... I have been there done that and still doin it! Took me almost 50 years....But its called "depression". You really need to see a professional whom you can trust to talk to. Tell them your feelings and what you are doing to yourself. I do not understand why you want to "self harm" maybe you could explain why it is you do this to yourself. I remember wishing I were dead, I just hated life. Almost had it taken from me three times. I took several different types of antidepressants before one actually started working. Now, I do not allow anything or anyone to upset me. It took me a long time to realize how utterly selfish i'd been. So many cancer patients and others wishing for life. I now divert my attention to taking care of homeless dogs and cats. I volunteer at animal shelters. I do understand...At least while I am still here on this earth, I can at least help others. Or try my best too. That is another reason I am responding to your message. There so much good you can be doing with yourself. You are someone special, you just have to believe in yourself if you want others too! I believe in you.....
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replied January 14th, 2012
Energy cannot be created or destroyed. If u exist now you will always exist. You may choose to continue on without your body but that won't help your emotional anguish. You must learn to overcome your problems one way or the other. You have been given a gift. Our world is a place we can learn faster with so many tests and trials. To kill your body would only make things worse. Suicide is not the answer
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replied May 6th, 2012
Energy is created and destroyed every second from within our bodies to the natural world and even in modern technology. I like what you had to say and your heart is in right place but you should live life in fear of it never ending in this life or the next. Just find what makes you smile and go with it . If we were suppose to know why we are here then we would know it. Some even find within the mind or body or soul their purpose Like Jesus, mother Teresa and countless others. Some were baseball heros and some freed the slaves while other gave every second of their lives to raise and love a child which any foster kid know how sacred that is. Keep looking for your purpose or atleast that insane happiness that makes you not care why we are here. Linz If you stop looking you are not going to find it
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replied May 31st, 2012
Just wanted to make a point; it is a fundamental law of nature that energy can neither be created nor destroyed. It is merely converted. Ex: The potential energy stored in wood is released in the form of radiant energy when it is burned. The exact amount of heat/light that is released is precisely equal to the amount of potential energy to begin with. Our bodies do similar conversions with the chemical energy stored in food; every thing is a conversion of energy. No energy is ever lost or created. Another interesting note, Einstein proved that matter is just another form of energy, and when our bodies die, the building blocks are simply integrated back into the natural order. All things are connected. Everything is energy. All things are eternal.
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replied May 6th, 2012
Energy is created and destroyed every second from within our bodies to the natural world and even in modern technology. I like what you had to say and your heart is in right place but you should live life in fear of it never ending in this life or the next. Just find what makes you smile and go with it . If we were suppose to know why we are here then we would know it. Some even find within the mind or body or soul their purpose Like Jesus, mother Teresa and countless others. Some were baseball heros and some freed the slaves while other gave every second of their lives to raise and love a child which any foster kid know how sacred that is. Keep looking for your purpose or atleast that insane happiness that makes you not care why we are here. Linz If you stop looking you are not going to find it
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replied December 30th, 2005
I know I should see someone but I just don't trust them. I have had friends who have seen a counsellor and have tried to kill themselves because of it. My school made me go once but I just convinced her that I was ok and that I didn't need any help. I know I shouldn't be so selfish with my life but I can't help feelin like this. If I could I would anyone my life within seconds.
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replied July 26th, 2012
You are not being selfish. i have selfharmed since 11 and still do i am 52. Never let anyone say you are selfish you are not. I understand you go get some antidepressants to help your mood. You will never stop selfharming it might lessen that is all it is like a craving i just cant stop it it is like drink to an alcholic or a cigerette to a smoker. You are not selfish
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replied April 24th, 2013
don't trust anyone........ they'll do what a book tells them to do but it does not necessarily mean they care. You will find in this life that very few people care
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replied January 2nd, 2006
Depression
Hello. It definetly sounds like you have depression. I should know because I have struggled with this illness for ten years. Like you, sometimes I feel life is useless. However, I have taken antidepressants and they help me cope with life. You never really get over depression, but there are counselors and medicine that can help you cope. I also find that my faith helps me to overcome the darkness. I do not know if you believe in an afterlife, but I firmly believe that there is a better place awaiting for all of us. Please know that suicide is not the answer to your problems; do not let the darkness defeat you, my friend.
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replied January 22nd, 2006
Hey,
death won't solve anything.You may think it will but it will also hurt alot of people around you.Don't give up hope in life and keep your head up. Death isn't the answer to anything and you were born for a reason.You wouldn't have been born if there wasn't a reason for you and you weren't born just to kill yourself and thinka bout the things you would miss out on in life if you killed yourself.

-danielle
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replied February 7th, 2006
Hi
I know what you mean, life is a continuous drag. I cant see why we live or what the point is. I've no idea what would make me happy, maybe its not been invented yet. What makes you happy linz?
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replied December 15th, 2008
I know exactly how you're feeling. No matter how hard I try I can't find a rational reason for living, not just my life but life in genreal. It seems to me that the only guarantee in life is death. It's not that I don't enjoy life, it's that I'm constantly plagued by life's lack of purpose.
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Users who thank festivus for this post: lifeishell 

replied December 16th, 2008
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I can stand side by side with u and agree with everything ur saying when I was 12 also. My mom and my grandmother passed away from me when I was young. All I wanted to do is put myself out of my misery. I can honestly say the only thing that kept me alive was church and my family. If your friends walked out on u in the time of need they aren't your friends. Your friends will always be there for u ecspecially when times get ruff because that is what friends are for. Just like Fairy said there are people that wish they could live with cancer and other fatal illnesses enjoy while u can. Life is already too short dont make it shorter. I think you should try to seek professional help and I know its easier said than done I have been there. But trust me god has a plan for all of us and taking your own life will put you in even more pain than living on earth through it all. Please cherish your life and try to find things and people you can enjoy being around because death isnt the answer....
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replied December 20th, 2008
Experienced User
+1 to johnkiggs.

not only that, but life is what YOU make of it. its a self-fulfilling prophecy. i think what's happening here is people are "aiming low and enjoying the results of it". when i say that i am just trying to make a point.

"your attitude determines your altitiude". in other words, if your attitude is pointed down in the dumps about how terrible life is, that's all you're likely to see. now i know that nobody "enjoys" the results of aiming low...but in reality, that's what's taking place.

again, i'll say, "your attitude determines your altitiude". you cannot go any higher than where you aim! so change your attitude by aiming higher. increase your expectations of live, and what you'll receive in return is a better quality existence.

i know it's hard. there is so much negativity all around us and it spreads like wildfire. BUT you have to force yourself to see things through a more positive light. that's the only way to move forward. if you begin to see things more positively, then people will see you differently (not just yourself). they'll want to be around you more. you'l enjoy more friendships, better quality relationships, etc.
you'll even start to FEEL better.

everyone's life contains a little rain. there are storms too. sometimes there's an earthquake, or a tornado or even a hurricane, but there's always tomorrow and nothing (good OR BAD) lasts forever. just get over the bad and focus on the good. focus on the life God has given you and the blessings He has given you and you'll feel better quickly.

jasmine
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Users who thank Jazzy77 for this post: vintk 

replied August 30th, 2011
Understanding Depression
You're not being helpful "Jasmine." If someone is seriously depressed these are the worst things you can say to them. If they're severely depressed all the "positive thinking" and good attitude in the world aren't going to help - they don't have the capacity for it in this instance. They'll think they should be able to make themselves feel better and then when they can't they'll just feel more guilty and depressed. And I know this personally. So thanks for rubbing salt in the wounds of poor readers who are already depressed.

You sound like someone who has never experienced depression and doesn't understand it at all. You have no place giving advice here - it'ss insulting.
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Users who thank Anti_Transhuman for this post: sandyseuss 

replied April 15th, 2012
Thoughtless counsel in the face of depression and despair-
Jasmine, Christian catch phrases are being tossed out as life rafts alienate people from reaching out and ultimately in turning those in crises away from God. You may find them inspiring and perhaps encouraging on the path your walking, but bear in mind there are those whose paths are painful beyond imagination, who have lost all hope. Who have spent their lives trying over and over only to find themselves stuck in one long groundhogs day where nothing changes despite how hard they try. In every life there is rain... REALLY? Some of us live in tornado Alley. You are either obliviously insensitive or or incredibly naive to respond that way in the face of some ones obviously intense pain; who is suffering and hopeless and reaching out- with your trite "Chin up!, When God closes a door, he opens a window" mentality. SERIOUSLY a perfect example of WJWD... -"What Jesus WOULDN"T DO"!
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replied August 28th, 2012
Point of living? Don`t try to change it!
Funny you should say that.
Two years ago I started thinking bigger and better when my job gave me depression and health problems, I`ve left that job (with very good money)and now after two years of trying to get something better from life I got a debt, unemployment and even bigger depression.
So if anyone can tell how life can be beautiful when you focus on getting somewhere better, it won`t be me and I would not listen any advice at all.
In this life you`re either make it or not.
I`m 31 and lost what I wanted to keep and the only thing keeping my head above water is my partner. But he has no clue what I feel like or go through.

To all that think that life will get better if you`ll change your attitude one big b....!**@!
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replied January 19th, 2013
You are incredibly ignorant. Do you understand the concept of depression vs. just being upset or in a bad mood because you saw your boyfriend kiss another women outside of his job? Maybe changing your attitude helped you get passed dealing with that, but it has nothing to do with long term clinical depression!

As you clearly stated yourself, you have absolutely no qualifications to be making statements like you have. Will you accept responsibility if someone reads your advice, doesn't seek professional help (and by the way getting help doesn't automatically imply taking anti-depressants) and end up harming themselves or others?
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replied December 20th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
This sounds like dysthmia, or clinical depression.

I want to address some of the recent posts.

Depression is a chemical imbalance. It is a medically diagnosable disease.

It is not a simple matter of "just love life" or "your attitude determines your attitude".

That is like saying to a cancer patient, if you just thought differently you'd be cured, why can't you just think differently?

Yes, changing thinking patterns can help, but it can take time for this to work effectively.

Medications can work sooner. They can lift the depression enough for people to even be effective with CBT -cognitive behavioral therapy.

Please be more sensitive in the future when prescribing "just think positively" as an intervention for people with a chemically derived syndrome.
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Users who thank Birch for this post: Jazzy77 

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replied December 20th, 2008
Experienced User
birch.
thank you for your comments. i do agree with the fact that depression CAN be a chemical imbalance. however i disagree with your assumption that i'm insensitive in my comments. my comments are the virtual counterpoint of your own! it doesn't make me insensitive or wrong.

i'm no psychiatrist, psychologist, counselor, or anybody special. i'm just human, and have at times, found myself feeling "profoundly" depressed. you would probably call that "chemically derived syndromes of clinical depression" or something much more educated than what i would have called it. i have also fought my way out of this profound depression, largely by changing my viewpoint.

i'm not saying that people shouldn't go to the doctor to get diagnosed with whatever it is they have, BUT, i DO think that our society is WAY OVERMEDICATED PARTICULARLY when it comes to anti-depressants.

people often go to the doctor because they feel a little low (or very low) and they expect the doctor to give them a magic pill to instantly make them feel better. when those magic pills don't fix the problem (being focused on negativity) then people rightly feel desperate. it's possible that the fix was with them from the very beginning and the doctor's magic pill wasn't needed anyway! what they needed was a change in outlook!

there is a lot of negativity in our world. we're surrounded by it in the news, and in people's attitudes. it's easy to become consumed by this negativity, and it may very well have NOTHNG TO DO WITH A CHEMICAL INBALANCE.

i consider myself to be a success story! it doesn't mean that everyone can overcome their problems the way i did. i may not be able to overome them the same way next time should this recurr...but, i do think that my theory is as significant as yours is and it's as legitmate.

you interpreted my statements as insensitive and i can assure you that being insensitive is the farthest thing from my mind. i think that counseling someone to go jump on a bunch of mind-altering drug therapy is much more irresponsible than trying to encourage someone to help themselves before seeking that level of care. it may not be necessary, and the person will have a big boost from having solved their own problems rather than a pill bottle or a shrink having had to solve them.

ultimately it will be up to the readers of this thread to determine the best course of action for themselves. i just care deeply about people and want to see them feel better. in my opinion, if people can do that on their own without medical intervention it's a plus for them.

readers...good luck. you decide for yourselves.
jasmine
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Users who thank Jazzy77 for this post: vintk 

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replied December 20th, 2008
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one additional comment. i think that it's dangerous to propose that meds are the solution because they work faster. they also can have some side-effects...and some side-effects that are particularly severe in certain groups of people.

when someone begins a thread with a statement like "what's the point in living", i think it can be irresponsible to lead them to antidepressant drugs like zoloft which can cause "thoughts of suicide...". Other side effects listed are: "mood or behavior changes, anxiety, panic attacks, trouble sleeping, feeling impulsive, irritable, agitated, hostile, aggressive, restless, hyperactive (mentall or physically), more depressed, or have thoughts about suicide or hurting yourself".

i mean, come on! try working with your attitude. try solving your OWN PROBLEMS in a positive, healthy manner! if that DOESN'T work , THEN get the doctor to prescribe you something.
jasmine
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replied December 25th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
I used to think that way, too, about medications and treatment.

Then I began working with individuals suffering from dysthmia and clinical depression. Not "just the everyday blues", I mean people who cannot even tell you one thing positive about themselves, have suicidal ideation, or have multiple suicide attempts in their past. They do not even have the energy to being to change their thinking patterns.

The goal is to prescribe just enough medication to get someone out of their deep ditch to be able to consider that life may have some value.

I recognize the many and possible severe side effects to medications, but the side effects of depression are low quality of life, low self-esteem that ends up being manifested in self destructive activities, possible death, economic and social issues, et cetera. There is a time and place for medications, I have seen them work.

There are also individuals who do may not need medications.
Again, I encouraged you to be more sensitive to individuals who are suffering under a chemically derived condition. You would not tell a cancer patient to "work with their attitude, try to solve their own problems, then go to the doctor". It is important to be respectful to individuals who are working with biologically derived symptoms. Would you tell someone having difficulty conceiving to "just think positively" or "come on, work with your attitude"? It's the same kind of thing. I work with this viewpoint a lot in the world. People believe you can just think your way out of
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replied December 25th, 2008
Advanced Support Team
I can understand both your and Jazzy's points of view, nevertheless this is not about proving who is right and who is wrong.

IF we re-read the original post, we will see that it is actually a very deep question. What is the point of living? What is the purpose of our life?

it feels quite awful for anyone to feel as if life has no purpose, or at least to not know what our purpose is.

Regardless of a chemical imbalance or no chemical imbalance, it's a completely normal question to ask, in fact a very healthy one, and the bottom line is that no one can answer that for us.

We must all find something beautiful to hold on to or believe in in order for any of this materialistic chaos around us to make any sense.

The people who come to this forum are willing to pose a question, and to express themselves. There is nothing more healing than this self-expression, and the feeling that you are not insane/alone/abandoned etc.

Lots of Love to you all!
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replied December 25th, 2008
It's so hard when all you feel like is you want to die or that you feel you have no self worth. I have been there too and I still struggle everyday. It sounds like you have self-esteem issues and I have that as well. Never feeling quite good enough for anyone or anything. Usually the people who are around you everyday don't help or just throw it to the side because they are scared to deal with it, with you. Have you thought about your past is there anything that sticks out that makes you say this is how it started? My selfesteem issues came from being adopted, feeling like my real mother never wanted me, and then it didn't help when I was 6 a teacher called me stupid, then I wasn't the most popular so I was picked on all the time. The small things that happen in your life really make who you are. What helped me was writing a journal everyday and expressing exactly how I felt. If I felt like cutting I would write instead...I know easier said than done, but it really helped me. I haven't cut since I was 16yrs old I am now 25. I will state that during this time I was seeing a shrink or a counselor ...I like counselors best(not a school counselor)I feel like I can vent more to them and they are more understanding. I also am on depression meds to help me. Things can be good again in may take time but it can. I'm now married and have a 4yr old and a baby on the way. Your life is worth something you are important and the feelings you have are surely coming from something deeper...you find that and you will beable to free yourself from your pain. Good Luck!!!!
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replied January 6th, 2009
life
i am 16, and i know im young but everyday of my life the question 'whats the point in living' always pops in my head. im in foster care and i think about my mum everyday and miss her so much. i have been in foster care for 9 years and it has torn me apart. Whats the point in living if we r living to die. i have started smoking because it relaxes me when im stressed. i dont care if i die it doesnt bother me.
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replied May 6th, 2012
i think you matter and i want to hear you.
Saying you don't care if you die isn't a selfish thing to say. It is a cry for help. If you take time to read the posts on this forum you see that everyone is trying to put out their point of view and compare their depression to yours but no one ask what is the problem. If you are here saying anything even just a few words it means you need someone to talk to. It doesn't have to be someone who is going through the same sitution or not just an open ear who will say you matter. Your words and thoughts are heard and cared for. So, let your walls down and just write what it is that makes youf feel this way. I'm hear to listen because at 16 there so much to look forward too. All this negative feeling you can turn around and use for good. If you hate foster care so much then turn it around. Look at the kids next to you and give them what they need just like you wish someone was there to give you what you need. I have wondered everyday of my life what is the point but with the knowledge I've gained through the years I know theres a point but we are never going to know what it is. All we know is by trial and error we stumble through life praying to an unknowing god that we find what makes us happy. Then we spend the rest of the time praying we don't f it up. I don't know what happen to your mom or your dad but at the end of the day they are only human and if you are suffering from depression it is probably because one of them is or was suffering too. Parents make mistakes, do the wrong thing and 99% live the rest of their life living in regret feeling to pathetic to right their wrongs or they rationalize that their children are better off without them in their life. Its not ok for parents to mess up and they shouldn't be easily forgiven but that's their life not.yours. or some foster kids got the worst of all absolutely awesome parents and short childhood of bliss for it to be suddenly ripped away by death. You are 16 and I'm sure you had to grow up fast but find what makes you happy not what makes others happy or what is commonly happy but what makes you truely forget even for a minute how sad or pointless life is and then hold on to it and don't take it for granted. Also, talk to someone you don't have to tell them everything right away but start talking. If that person isn't making you feel comfortable then find someone else. Sometimes you find what you need in the last place you look but the point is to keep to looking.
Also be wary of drugs legal or not it is a dangerous road. The harsh reality that nobody will say is that the day you turn
18 its next to impossible to receive the same care you can get now. You will be struggling to survive and the state will bury you in paperwork. Anther reality most won't say is that yes depression is a chemical imbalance whether it is clinical or not but what the hell does that mean to a 16 year. Nothing except anther thing that is wrong with me. But thats not it at all. You brain is suppose to produce a certain amount of chemicals depending your own body weight height and so on. When you are constantly sad your brain is producing less and less and you are training your body to not produce enough that eventually you don't feel happiness when you normally would because you don't have the right levels. So, absolutely as jasmine said you can simply help yourself by saying tomorrow will be a good day because I will make it good. I will find one thing that makes me smile even if it is a split second. If you can train you attitude to say screw it I hate feeling pain and misery and expecting tomorrow will be anther pointless day I want to live and I'm willing to do.the leg work because even if I feel no one cares and even fate hates me, I like me I matter to me. If you are on the absolute edge and truely feel you can't take anther second of your life then seek professional help now. You may be suffering from many conditions that are treatable but until.you seek help it will not go away. If you are miserable but can trudged through life some more then start changinng your attitude remembering it is a long road and write me back and tell me your story. Tell me what it is that you want and I will listen and I will help as long as you want it. What else do you have to lose anyways.
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replied January 7th, 2009
point of living..
Existence isn't just looking to the end. In between and especially as you grow you will come across things that provide a feeling of belonging to something higher then we can comprehend.

When you experience love (in many forms) some feelings start to diminish and a new respect for life occurs. All these things happen slowly. It’s like watching a baby grow up and not noticing the difference much and seeing a baby and coming back 5 yrs later to see how much has taken place.

On the point of med's or cognitive thinking, I think both are important. the one thing I do have a problem with is you don't have much control with how the medication will affect you, if the doctor is prescribing it correctly and if he/she will leave you in the dark when you feel it’s time to get off of them.

The simple fact that you posted this in the first place is a small step to knowing you want to live. You may shudder at the thought, but this is how it plays out. My reply in itself is proof that you are worth something as small as it is, or for optimistic's, as big as it is. You see, it’s the many ways of seeing things that conjure the response.
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replied January 8th, 2009
Experienced User
RE:littlepeanut123 r
but smoking is a slow death, why cause more pain.
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replied January 8th, 2009
RE: littlepeanut123
"i dont care if i die it doesnt bother me"

That is a very selfish way to think. You have a home.. even if it is a foster home.. you have much more than alot of people do. Yes you miss your mother but waiting for death is not a good way to lead your life. You are 16, so young.
And yes i do understand, i am only 17.. but saying you dont care if you die? Everyone gets sad at some point in their life. There as so many people wishing they could have a home.. and so many praying and hoping that they will live and survive through illness that they are suffering from.
You probably have it better than you know.

We are not living to die... We are living to make something of ourselves and enjoy the time we have.

I suggest you think about all the things that you have that others would love to have.
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replied January 9th, 2009
Re: RE: littlepeanut123
icystar wrote:
"i dont care if i die it doesnt bother me"

That is a very selfish way to think.


Depression and sadness are two different things. Also, the amount one is feeling is relative. Maybe you will never experience quite the same darkness as others, hopefully you won't. But I think you need to have full understanding before calling out others for anything they do. It's one thing I try not to do, pretend to know what someone else is feeling.
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