Depression During Pregnancy Forum - Why Do I Feel This Way?
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Why Do I Feel This Way?

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skybug9804

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Dec 2005
Posts: 1
Why Do I Feel This Way?
Posted: 12-27-05 23:37pm

Hi everyone. I am 21 weeks pregnant with my second child and I don't think that I care. I was so happy when I had my first baby. I was on top of the world. I did everything right, took my vitamins, quit drinking caffiene, tons of water, fruits, veggies... Everything.
Well, my husband and I divorced recently and I got pregnant by a different guy. When we found out I was pregnant, we rushed out and got married. Well, we lived together for like a week before he was back at his house and we have already filed for a divorce. And, me and my ex are seeing each other again.
I am afraid that since I do not love this babys father, I will not care about him the way I care about my first son. I know it is wrong and I know that I sound like a cold, evil woman, but no matter what I do, I just can't seem to accept this baby. I haven't been eating right or taking my vitamins. I hate to admit it, but I have even thought about abortion. I decided I can't do that, but I feel so weird with myself. I don't want his dad in our lives. I would much rather him sign his rights over to me. But, I don't think that will ever happen. I am afraid that I am thinking of this baby as a mistake rather than a gift. Is this setting me up for severe postpartum depression too??
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tigresacanela24

Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Nov 2005
Posts: 5261
Location: Treat your children well, eventually they'll choose your nursing home.

Posted: 02-09-06 13:50pm

Wow, that's deep. I honestly don't know, I think that i've read somewhere that if you have had depression in the past then you are at a greater risk for postpartum depression. Have you talked to your husband about the way you feel about this baby? What does he say? Do you still feel like the baby is a mistake now?
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