Hi everyone. I am 21 weeks pregnant with my second child and I don't think that I care. I was so happy when I had my first baby. I was on top of the world. I did everything right, took my vitamins, quit drinking caffiene, tons of water, fruits, veggies... Everything.
Well, my husband and I divorced recently and I got pregnant by a different guy. When we found out I was pregnant, we rushed out and got married. Well, we lived together for like a week before he was back at his house and we have already filed for a divorce. And, me and my ex are seeing each other again.
I am afraid that since I do not love this babys father, I will not care about him the way I care about my first son. I know it is wrong and I know that I sound like a cold, evil woman, but no matter what I do, I just can't seem to accept this baby. I haven't been eating right or taking my vitamins. I hate to admit it, but I have even thought about abortion. I decided I can't do that, but I feel so weird with myself. I don't want his dad in our lives. I would much rather him sign his rights over to me. But, I don't think that will ever happen. I am afraid that I am thinking of this baby as a mistake rather than a gift. Is this setting me up for severe postpartum depression too??