I have been married for a little over 3 yrs now. This past year and half has been the worst of my life. Shortly after building a new house and building a life together, my husband completely pulls out of our marriage. He doesnt talk to me, doesnt have any kind of interaction with me, he just wants to hang out with his buddies, but still come home to me. And he doesnt understand why I get upset about it.
Since around thanksgiving last yr, we have split up 3 seperate times. The first time he came back a month or so later and wanted to work it out. I was so excited because I have always wanted to try to work things out. We did great for about 6 months and then things slowly started going down hill again. So we split again. Now recently we got back together for a few weeks and now he is gone again. 2 of these times I did ask him to leave because I didnt feel like he wanted to be there for me , but he was only staying in our home to have some where to sleep every night.
We went through counseling together before, but this last time he decided that he needed to go for himself (which I think is a great idea, b/c he is extremely depressed and alot of it has to do with how he was raised) he has been going and doing very good. I also go by myself.
The problem is that I dont know how to really deal with this anymore, its been going on for so long now. And after the 2nd time we split he filed for a divorce. I eventually signed my papers and mailed them in. It was the hardest thing in the world for me to do. My problem comes in here with the fact that at first he told me that he didnt want a divorce and that if it were up to him that I didnt have to sign them and that he was just mad when he filed them, now he thinks I should just sign them and if we could work it out eventually, we could just get remarried. I dont agree, but oh well.....They are in the mail now.
I know that he does still love me, and I still love him. He just has a very hard time showing me the things that I need from him. I know that he is dealing with his own issues that he needs to in counseling, but how do I be supportive without feeling like I do. I feel more depressed that he's gone now, I feel like he may never want to work things out with himself or with me. And it kills me on the inside. How can I figure out to give him his space that he needs and still be ok with it and not take his distance as regection? His depression has sent me into a severe depression myself! I cant hold it together lately. I just want to sit around and cry all day!! Any advice? I just needed to get all this off my chest.
I know that we are getting a divorce but its still not over for either of us.