How Do I Tell Him??? Pleasure Troubles

This is very simple. You must tell him what you like. Otherwise he will continually not satisfy you and you will loose interest. Trust me, I have been the ignorant guy on this one.

They way tp pitch this so as not to hurt his ego is tell him what he did that you like. Then perhaps add that he has got you 80% of the way to an orgasim but it would be great if he could take you all the way.

Remember, contrary to popular belief by woman, man are not psychic!!

Communication, that is the key.

Hope that helps.

You have to tell him what you like. To be honest, at this point, I expect to get feedback from a girl. If she doesn't volunteer that info, I ask.

There is an ego thing here, to a degree, but he's not completely failing. He's just not doing everything you'd like.

Don't make it criticism. Make it kinky. Make it fun. He hasn't touched you at all yet? Here's an idea. Next time he's over, wear a skirt with no panties. As soon as you're alone, shove him down on the couch/bed, straddle him, and pull your skirt up a little. Whisper "touch me" in his ear. He will.

Then later when you're laying around, before, after, during, whatever. Tell him to do this or that, depending on the situation.

You don't have to tell him all at once. Just some things here and there.

Another idea (which, personally, I love). Have you thought about actually showing him? Masturbate in front of him. If he gets into it, ask him if he wants to take over. Or not. Do it all yourself. Either way, fun.

He'll learn. Personally I don't take suggestions as criticism. I can see how some guys might I guess, but I think delivery is key. If you come out like, "listen, we need to talk. I'm not fulfilled by this. You finish, but I don't, and its a problem. You need to ____ and ____, and because you don't do that, etc....". This sucks. When you're mostly naked and grinding, grab his hand and say, "oh baby, I need ____ and ____". See? Much more fun. It sounds like everything else is going ok, so I really think this will work fine.

Wow!! Hi guys! I was beginning to think i'd never get a man's response to this question -- i'd basically given up hope!

Then onyourbike and mrjsmith come to the rescue :) :) !!!!!! Just like the cavalry!

Thanks a million guys. Really, both your replies were truly awesome.

Onyour - short and sweet - but very helpful. I like the exact wording you give of what to say to my guy. It's positive, and it gives him hope than he can get me there.

Mrjsmith - your reply was fantastic too. I most appreciate how descriptive and detailed you are -- that's how I like to get an answer to a question - every possible way to consider it!

Especially great was the dialogue of what not to say - trust me, I needed that -- because as you can imagine, it's frustrating to find that me and my guy didn't click on the sex -- and I get frustrated replaying in my head how there was no orgasms for me and why -- and I kept seeing my imaginary conversation with him deteriorating into the same 'not-to' dialogue you listed.

I love the idea of making it fun -- love the skirt idea :) - i'm all about dressing up for bed ;)! Showing him how is really great too.

So thanks a million again guys! Since it was such good advice - I hope to keep you posted the next time me and my guy get together (and I use some of your suggestions)....

One thing - what do men feel about the idea of using a board game? There's one called the kama sutra game - it's got a board and cards - full of foreplay and erotic play that lets both get good play and win at varied sex positions in the end...

Is this a turn-on idea for a guy -- or does it sound to formal and suspicious (like "what are you trying to say? I need a game to tell me how to have sex?') -- would a man respond good or bad to a store-bought board game?

If you're still out there onyour and mrj - and any other good guys -- what do you think?

Please, I will really appeciate a man's point of view. Any other suggestions out there?

Hey there again. I just wanted to share with you a web site I find helpful if you have time to sit in front of the computer for a bit. The link is below. Just click on "love & sex" in the menu. There are many advice articles, and question/answer pieces, from both a man's perspective, and a woman's. I also found the "understanding men" section helpful. It can be found under "love & sex" menu on the left hand side.

Http://www.Ivillage.Com/

Hi newgirl. I hope you don't mind a woman jumping in when you were asking for advice from men...I just wanted to talk a little about your board game question. My husband and I like them, and it's funny you mentioned the kama sutra game because we just played that one the other night. It was good but not our favorite, only because it involves a lot of discussion and I think we just know each other too well because we've been together so long. But in your case, with a long distance relationship, it would probably be good because you still have a lot to discover about each other. Another game that we really like a lot is played in the tub, and it's called bathtub love. Pretty simple, but very sensual and fun. I think a game would be perfect for you two, as long as he's okay with it.

I might be a bad one to ask. I'm easy to please and not easily offended. I think the game is a great idea. The only concern with that kind of thing is bringing out too early. It seems like more of a thing you'd do with somebody you've been with for a little while. However, if I went to a girl's place and she pulled that out on our first night i'd lose my mind, in a good way.

Hi all - thanks for the new feedback :).

Hey teach - what'chu doing over here :-o?! Lol -- but thanks for the website idea. I know that one, i've checked it out and it did have some good info on it -- but it's a good reminder from you to keep it in mind. I thought the articles about understanding men were good -- I printed out one about what a man thinks is romantic....

Hi tasha - thanks for replying about the board game idea. I'm surprised the kama sutra game didn't go over that big w/ you and yours -- online it had great reviews from couples. I bought about 4 - and I liked it the best because it makes each person go a different path (i'd think a man would like that autonomous approach) - but each path gets each person doing the kinds of things I most want to happen....And I felt that this way, I could get a little of everything I want that evening -- also, the card instructions were really great I thought -- esp the one that says "if your private part could speak to your lover what would it say" -- I love that question -- because I could tell him about touching, going slow etc......And the pictures of the ks positions are hot in a cute way --

i saw that bathtub love game - and thought about it (he loves to take baths!) - so maybe i'll get it too.

Really I keep jumping back and forth in my feelings about the approach to take - either go solo and rely on my own sexual energy and just present that to him - take over the night, and get it my way in the most seductive, agreeable way I know how (keeping in mind and using the great wordings these guys here offered) --- then I get more worried that he'll feel controlled and dominated (because i'm showing him from lips to toes exactly what I want - it's so much that I think it would at some point be overwhelming

-- that's where the game comes in my mind to save the day...A board game with cards is objective -- we agree to play a game, we both agree to be 'controlled' by the objective 3rd party - the sex board game teling each of us what to do...That way, he just sees it as a kinky approach to sex -- I still get to let him know what I enjoy without it coming on too strong....You know what I mean?

Mrj - thanks again -- i'm glad a man might dig the game idea. Because too, my guy isn't overly aggressive -- i'm sure there are things he'd like from me that he hasn't even ventured to ask, but if a card comes up in a game that asks me to perform that thing on him - and I willingly do it - it would surely be successful :)....

But, we'll see one day what works in the end :)!

Thanks again guys, and gals :).

I'm still open and hoping to hear from more guys - your input is really appreciated! Any other advice out there - or personal experiences of success on clicking better in bed?